Pulling out of cage

Having said that, if she wanted me in something more secure, then the idea of PA or fullbelt is arousing. Giving up total control is a turn on. She doesn't. Certainly with teenagers around, it isn't practical, and she does want access. So that loss of complete control remains a fantasy, but the orgasm denial is as real as anyone else no matter what the security measures in place, because I respect my KH, and am grateful she is even involved.

 

I wonder....what's the better example of power exchange:

The person who cannot play with their dick because their cage is "impenetrable"

- or -

The person can play with their dick, but doesn't because their key-holder said "No, no, no. You don't touch that thing until I let you out"

 

One could argue the latter. It requires compliance, inspired and maintained by the thoughts and actions of the Keyholder in an ongoing narrative.

One could also argue from the definitive nature of a totally secure device that the former were true.

 

My wife’s answer: your question is irrelevant to het. “Your either excited by physical control and all forms of substantial bondage or your not”.

 

The reality is, most any cage can be defeated in any number of ways, but that's not the point. The point is, we wear a cage as a way of giving up control. So the fact that it can be defeated is a bit of a contradiction. So of course we all look for ways to make it more secure. Anti-pullouts, Unbreakable/Unpickable Locks, PA piercings, Titanium. Sure, the best assurance of submission is our word, but if that is sufficient, then we don't really need the cage. I don't know about others, but that's where it ultimately ends up. Who needs the cage? I've got my mind.

Still, there's something about a cage. Is it the physical reminder? Is it the look and feel? If we're going to wear one, and we're going to give our KH the key, we want it to be escape proof. Some day, maybe Elon Musk will put his mind to making an escape proof chastity cage. Maybe some penile implant that notices it's not in the cage and delivers a continual stream of very unpleasant feelings until locked back up.

 

Unfortunately there are no impenetrable cages since they all require a lock, and any lock the size we are talking about is exceptionably easy to pick. And yes, even the screws are wicked easy. So this becomes a mindless loop of "I'm more secure than you" and "my mind makes me just as secure". In the end we are all promising to not pick the lock on our cages, nothing more, nothing less...

 

See she doesn’t care about “my word”, she doesn’t really care about weather I can manage an orgasm in the cage (more pain than it’s worth). She cares about if I can escape it without her detection. Because there are significant consequences put in place. It’s the physical control she wishes to exert. You just can’t do that with pink fuzzy hand cuffs ans a plastic ball trap chastity device. To compare, agreeing to not leave the bed for 8 hours is not the same as being strapped in a canvas or leather sleepsack for 8 hours, it’s just not.

 

Well well well there’s a lot of acrimony here. I agree with @Mr_anonymous on this one, whodathunkit? All my life since I was a young boy I’ve had fantasies of being totally and irrevocably bound and controlled by a woman so can relate to @Elfman as well, but the thing about fantasy is, you’re in TOTAL control cos you’re the director of your little mental movie. I too have sought inescapable bondage and had childish tantrums when the woman to whom Im supposed to be surrendering has tied me up too loosely, or not whipped my penis savagely enough. In short I was a spoilt bully. This whole kink is fraught with paradox. But let’s not go down this weird macho rabbit hole of telling other people they’re just playing at it whilst we ourselves are oh so hardcore. We are all, at the end of the day, “just playing at it”, unless you happen to be the captive of a genuinely psychopathic woman who despises you, and you yourself are not a submissive or masochist and therefore not getting gratification.

 

Lot of vitriol here. My favorite cage is metal and I can pull out of the back. It would never be comfortable enough to pleasure myself when doing so. I actually like it because I can clean better and go longer between actually taking the cage off for a deep clean.

I say to each their own. Why kink shame just because you do it different?

 

When I am interstate, I change the lock on my husbands cage to a plastic barcode in the event there is a legitimate reason for it to be removed e.g medical reasons. I know however that if I tease him too much, or if he spends too much time consuming arousing material, he will pull out and play with himself.

He 100% knows he shouldn't, and he will never come because he wouldn't want the drop that comes with it, even as dedicated as he is to me amd chastity, if he really wants to, he will, and there is no amount of will power that will stop him or in my belief, most caged men, in playing with themselves.

As a KH, it's extremely disappointing to know this and it does ruin the whole experience. A PA really is the only way a KH can achieve the level of control that they want. Otherwise, a horny man is going to be a horny man, even if it hurts him to do so.

 

One important thing was mentioned, regardless you can escape the cage or not, you can vibrate it until you have an orgasm. If you find yourself always doing this, you should think about what you really would like with this? The questions are:

• Does really orgasm denial for you?
• Do you still want to be controlled?
• Do you want to be denied or just to have caged orgasm?
• Do you want to learn to have few orgasms? (Yes, it is something needs practice)

I found out during my online keyholding sessions, some people do not want the denial, more like to have fun in the cage. In other words, replace normal sex to caged sex. There is nothing bad with this however, it's just something needs to be seen clear. Every person is different and have different needs, someone enjoys staying locked long, relying only on leaks and occasional ruins, for others with different drives require more stimulation.
They could adapt to having less and less stimulation too, also many man makes the mistake of having a too big step at once, not allowing their body and mental system to adapt, find the things could replace the sex drive, this is the part when you read "I stopped masturbation and now I focus on other things", but it's not that simple as a single line sentence.
And there is much to be talked about it, but first, you have to find the ting you really want with this, than go for the session fits for you best. Sometimes escaping the cage can be fun for both the partners, but you are wearing that cage for your keyholder. Everyone please, give them that respect you don't play with their trust, and discuss with them is something is beyond your current capabilities.

 

“Sorry if this stings but it’s the truth” is by definition invalidating someone’s opinion.

 

and their experience.

It's insulting, to be honest.

 

Well I have to be honest and say that i have no idea if i could pull out of my device or not.
I never tried and dont fancy it much either.
If I did manage to then I know I would never be able to get back in without unlocking and dissembling it.
Unlocking it would involve a two hour drive to my keyholders house to face the music and would likely entail a hard caning across the backs of my thighs and being completely blanked and ignored by her for a week or two.

Quite frankly, honor doesnt play a part in it.

Sorry if this dashes your illusions but not everyones reality and circumstances are the same as yours.

 

For me personally, the attraction to “enforced chastity” is simple. I relinquished control of my orgasms and penis to my wife. Although initially not crazy about the idea, she has now thoroughly embraced it, which makes it very fulfilling for both of us. Prior to her embracing it, I spent that period finding a device that I couldn’t escape without destroying the cage or causing more pain then it was worth. Now she controls the key and has even brought up the possibility of getting a PA. Rambling a bit. Back to point…I’m a really handy fella with lots of tools. Could I destroy a cage or PA ring? Absolutely. Here is the kicker though…If I did, it would also destroy the amazing new dynamic that Miss A and I have worked so hard to establish…and that would break her heart. So can I escape from my chastity cage? No chance in hell.

 

For me personally, the attraction to “enforced chastity” is simple. I relinquished control of my orgasms and penis to my wife. Although initially not crazy about the idea, she has now thoroughly embraced it, which makes it very fulfilling for both of us. Prior to her embracing it, I spent that period finding a device that I couldn’t escape without destroying the cage or causing more pain then it was worth. Now she controls the key and has even brought up the possibility of getting a PA. Rambling a bit. Back to point…I’m a really handy fella with lots of tools. Could I destroy a cage or PA ring? Absolutely. Here is the kicker though…If I did, it would also destroy the amazing new dynamic that Miss A and I have worked so hard to establish.

 

And in this way, one could argue that the cage is a luxury or gift from our KH. We want to maintain the new dynamic, which can be so easy to slip out of given temptation of old habits. We 'should' be about to do it without a cage, but man...it's hard. They cage at least provides a strong symbol and deterrent from giving in to temptation.

On the PA front, I don't have one, haven't discussed the topic, but it certainly intrigues me and I am so on the fence about it...seems like it would take things to a new level of sorts.

 

Yes, my being "trapped" in the cage is all about my kh. I don't touch, don't tamper with it. I did at the beginning 4 years ago. I couldn't do this without a cage. If you're trying to pull out what are you doing this for? It's meaningless. I would hurt my kh's feelings and ruin her idea of complete control. Somehow I brought it up and somehow she's turned on by it. We're not stopping, I'm not being the one who stops this.

 

Is this you not invalidating anyone’s opinion again?

 

Nothing is 100% escapable, a trip to the local hospital would see any device cut off if needed. I would never cheat but I fully get the psychological desire to have things as secure as possible.

I dont think anyone is saying its not proper chastity without an expensive device, I have had $20 devices that are just as secure and usable as my $400 one but the more expensive one is a lot more comfortable and practical for me. I mean you can even practice chastity with no device at all.

 

Is he wrong though?