Post Infidelity Stress Disorder - Benefits of Chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by SMS529, Aug 1, 2022.

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  1. SMS529
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    SMS529 Member

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    Women who experienced the devastation of infidelity often experience the symptoms of PTSD on a conscious, or subconscious level. The empowerment of key holding in a subsequent (or original) relationship can be comforting, or outright critical to her positive emotions of trust, safety, security, mutual devotion ..... and/or function as a tool to directly counter fear and anxiety. Does anyone here believe their chastity commitment benefits their Keyholder either knowingly, or subconsciously, in this way?
     
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  2. Jail Bird
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    IMHO, women who forgive infidelity should demand nothing short of full time chastity from their partner. A cage of her choosing.

    He needs to stay locked up and earn her trust through devotion, worship and denial. In time, hopefully it will work out for them.

    No different if it was a female that did that. They make very secure belts for women. Everything depends on the couple and their relationship to each other.
     
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  3. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I think this is unrealistic. Women distressed over infidelities are unlikely to want to contemplate any intimacy, let alone an unusual variety pandering to the philanderer's kink.

    More importantly, male chastity devices just aren't up to this. They are certainly not fire and forget out of the box, which is what would be required.
     
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  4. Cecilia B
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    We started chastity when we were still dating because I was afraid he'd get drunk if he went out nights I had to work and some hussy would drag him back to her apartment. He's never cheated on me or even considered doing it but I still like the security of knowing some girl can't get at him.
     
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  5. true42
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    That would be fine, but remember: It's about what makes her happy, not what the guy's dick fantasies are.

    For my wife and I, our use of chastity has nothing to do with any cheating that I did in the past ... it's only about the positive effect that it has on our relationship today. On the other hand, if she did want to lock me because of the fear of cheating, or as punishment for past cheating, that would be fine, too. Whatever her decision is, that seems like an excellent idea to me.

    And that is probably the biggest benefit of chastity: She's always right, and I enjoy following her decisions. And I love her all the more for it.
     
  6. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    My wife is naturally strong and was also devestated when she caught her ex sleeping around. I am in chastity because she fantasized about it from well before any of this, but she tells me that I will never understand how comforting it is to her that I cannot cheat, even though she also knows I wouldnt.

    Sorry, long winded way of saying "Yes" women can have PTSD and the cage can help, based at least on our experience.
     
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  7. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    Im not sure if any marriage counsellors would actually recommend the chastity cage on a wayward husband as a form of therapy for the wife and imposed prevention for the husband, knowing that any device is not escape proof. It is not penis that is causing infidelity, it is his mind and character. If he wants to cheat, he will cheat. However if the proactive measure comes from the husband in a honest manner along with relinquish of financial control, it may help to allay her insecurities for a short period. The chastity in this manner is devoid of all kinks, teasing… ect. It is not fun as how we defined it. She will view it as a state of helplessness and disappointment.
     
  8. NM Lori
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    My wife and I are having some transitions that will involve her regularly being out of state for 2-3 weeks at a time. She also told me she knows that I have a decent libido and admits she has some fears that I will cheat on her. I never have, but we are pretty much in a sexless marriage.

    I offered to go into basically permanent chastity to help reassure her. She dislikes the chastity cage but she did say it might be a workable idea.
     
  9. SMS529
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    .....
    . Here us a legitimate question....."can you really be that certain that you are fully aware if her conscious, or more importantly subconscious, motivations and /or psychological benefits of male chastity"?
     
  10. SMS529
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    .... my original
    O am not sure why you suggest there is an "either / or" motivation for chastity. Nothing is preventing it from being an AND proposition to include BOTH kink AND subconscious psychological security blanket.
     
  11. true42
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    No idea, really. I just follow her instructions. Her motivations are not my concern; obedience is my concern.

    But, for what it's worth, she has said that she enjoys the way I become: infatuated, attentive, respectful, etc.
     
  12. Cecilia B
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    Your wife is right. Husband has some understanding of it, but he doesn't get the whole thing and never will.

    I put focus on both angles. Not only can he not get any from somebody else, some hussy can't get at him.

    There was this one hussy at this bar we hang out at (the one where we met) who wouldn't leave him alone. She was even flirting with him (and crossing the line) in front of me. This was when he was still my boyfriend. I got so tired of it, I wanted to give her a challenge that I was hoping would make her back off. Husband agreed to it. I locked him up even when we both went. The next time that she came on to him, I was going to tell her she could have him if:

    1. It happened in the Girls' room in the bar.
    2. I got to watch.
    3. If she could get at his penis, she could have him.
    4. If she couldn't get at his penis, she backed off for good.

    I figured the three of us would go in the Girls' room she'd drop his pants and see it locked up. She'd know she'd been had, but would have to back off.

    It never happened because she must of finally got the message he wasn't interested. She abruptly stopped coming on to him.
     
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  13. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Ha, that's quite funny! The prevention of infidelity has always been a part of my chastity in Mrs Chaste eyes. Not that I've ever given her cause to worry about me straying. Mrs Chaste was married before and fortunately for me her previous husband decided "the grass was greener on the other side of the fence" so off he went. Mrs Chaste was devastated at first. In her eyes"till death do us part" means just that. When we met and eventually married she did admit that she had a problem ever being able to 100% trust any man again. As she said, it was her problem and she knew I was a "safe bet". Fast forward another 20 years and the advent of chastity for me (the how's and whys are another story) and she had me locked safely away. This became a very important part of our chastity lifestyle. The idea that I couldn't be led astray is very reassuring to her. She is absolutely serious about the fact that me being locked makes her feel a lot better and safer. I have now been locked for 9 years as close to 24/7, 365 as is possible. It works well for us.
     
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  14. Jay Sub
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    I have never cheated, but before chastity there was sometimes a nagging doubt about my fidelity. After chastity there is no question of that. It's not that it is 100% secure, but she would know if I came without permission.
     
  15. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    I visit a nearby town once a month for several days. I have a few restaurants and breweries I enjoy for dinner. I usually visit, sit at the bar, chat with the staff, and read my book. I am frequently approached by women and given phone numbers. I am not that dashing and I am just reading my book. There is no chance I would ever be unfaithful.

    When the idea of chastity was being discussed, she initially thought it a bit odd. Then Mrs Xileh’s gears started turning, and with little discussion, I am locked up.

    Sometimes, you have to be careful of what you don’t ask for.
     
  16. ozzy-one
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    ozzy-one Long term member

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    This is very likely a common scenario in second marriages, a woman that was cheated on and is very leary that any man can be true to her. I think the idea of male chastity would be much easier for the wife to understand and except in this conversation. I hope some of the women in our group read this thread and chime in with they’re two cents
     
  17. WhiteKnight
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    To try and given a positive view from personal experience. We've been married for over 40 years. I would never cheat on my Wife / KH and she knows this. However it gives her self-confidence and self-image to know that I am happy and willing to have her lock me up - and remove any temptation - so the only way I can ever get any sexual release is at her direction and discretion.
     
  18. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    PTSD isn’t a trendy thing. Nor a hip condition. Contrary to what the snow flakes think. Those of us that have been diagnosed with it will tell you it’s a very tough condition to live with. Something the hipsters couldn’t deal with. Hence anyone who thinks they have it should seek professional help.

    I was the victim of a very serious violent crime. Years of hard work has made my PTSD manageable. Not cured but manageable. And yes I’ve had setbacks, and yes I’ve made incredible progress getting better. But like cancer or diabetes it’ll never be cured. Remission in the best case.

    So no locking a cock isn’t going to cure it. Yes it can help if you have a great PTSD specialist who is kink friendly and supportive. But before playing games I highly suggest getting help.

    In my own case when looking for PTSD treatment, I actually interviewed specialists and made sure they were BDSM and LGBTQ friendly.

    Now I don’t mean to be an ass but posts like OPs make it hard for those of us with PTSD. It minimizes how serious this condition is. And it makes it so that when we have an actual attack (I hate the word trigger as it’s been stolen from us) we get crap from the idiots who think we are playing around.

    So please please please, understand that not all trauma is PTSD and PTSD isn’t the way many claim. In fact most who claim to have it aren’t diagnosed and don’t know the first thing about it.

    So if kick helps a couple I’m all for it. But DO NOT think you can treat serious mental health issues on your own without professional help.
     
  19. true42
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    I can't tell if you're trying to be funny here or what. But this seems to detract from what you are trying to get across.
     
  20. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    How. My point is the far left are a bunch of hipsters and snowflakes
     
  21. true42
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    I understood what you saying, whether or not you were attempting to say it ironically.

    So let me see if I get this straight: People who hold extremist positions are [bad]? Also, the sun is hot, the universe is big, and spam email sucks.

    Like I said, it detracts from what you were saying.
     
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