Permanently cutoff from PIV

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by HisFreakySide, Mar 22, 2020.

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  1. Mojoman
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    Mojoman Long term member

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    #76 Mojoman, Aug 15, 2020
    Fortunately for me, my lovely lady still enjoys sex, although PIV is now uncomfortable for her so has been banned. I'm very happy to lick her to as many orgasms as she wants and she can have complete control of my orgasms, but if she were to lose all interest in sex in the way that other guys have described above, I'm not sure I could accept chastity as an excuse for avoiding sex and just ignoring my needs.
     
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  2. HisFreakySide
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    HisFreakySide Long term member

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    #77 HisFreakySide, Aug 15, 2020
    Always happy to see this thread revived by those with similar stories & dynamics. If anyone's curious, I'll provide a more detailed update with how we're handling our decision 8 months later...

    The first thing to point out is that there isn't really much that we're doing different. We had already spent so much of our relationship not having intercourse that agreeing to abstain permanently was more or less a formality. I know our 24/7 chastity arrangement started around the same time, but we view that as a separate commitment not-entirely-related to PIV denial.

    I mentioned in my original post in this thread how surreal it felt to think about the ramifications of making such a decision so young. Well, I'm here to say that feeling has not become any less intense over the last several months. If anything, it has only gotten stronger. Every time I see a reference to sex in books, tv shows, or movies, all I can think about is how that's something I'm not able to do. In addition, many of our friends have recently been announcing pregnancies, which is a clear indicator of their active participation in PIV sex. And that always serves as a reminder that while those husbands and boyfriends get to penetrate and cum inside their wives (oftentimes whenever they want), well... I don't.

    Meanwhile, porn is the absolute worst. @b_quark got it exactly right in his post about it: "Now it stirs all these feelings...I never will do that...I can barely remember how that feels" Yep... Every. Single. Time. These days, I don't need an intense, kinky femdom scene to get me going. Just watching a penis slide inside a woman and thinking about how I'll never get to feel that warm embrace again for the rest of my life....ffffffuuck. And don't even get me started on watching a man's cock pulsating as he pumps his seed into his partner. Unlike penetration, that is something that I have never experienced, and such a sensation will forever be a mystery.

    So what the hell makes all of that worthwhile? Easy: The lust I feel for my wife every day is damn near palpable. You may think that's just the chastity device talking, but honestly, my drive to please her doesn't really stem from an urge to receive permission to orgasm. Instead, it comes from knowing that she too is sacrificing her desires for intercourse and thus having that need go unfulfilled. You see, despite the pain/discomfort that penetration causes her, she always enjoyed the mental, emotional, romantic, and spiritual connections that intercourse establishes between two partners. Therefore, every day in which we don't have sex is yet another mission for me to find other ways to reinforce those bonds.

    But that begs the question...how has she been handling all of this? I'm always hesitant to speak for her, but everything she tells me (including nonverbals) seems to indicate that she's just as happy about this decision as I am. Before, she would give constant reminders about making more attempts at PIV. Now, it seems like a weight has been lifted off of her. She no longer questions if we're doing it "enough", and neither of us feel anymore pressure for foreplay to build up to some sort of final act (which always seemed to turn out awkward, painful, and/or downright disappointing). With my consistent orgasm denial thrown into the mix, our time in the bedroom suddenly lasts for however long she likes.

    Interestingly enough, I think she's secretly aroused by her own denial. I can tell she really enjoys rubbing the tip of my cage against the opening of her pussy rather than just her clit like she would do before. She won't admit it, but with how quickly she gets wet, I suspect she's teasing herself with the prospect of penetration just as much as she's teasing me. I know she's far more naturally submissive than she lets on, and let's just say she goes absolutely WILD now whenever I go inside her with my fingers. That never was the case before...

    Now in case you're wondering, I don't really have an answer for where all of this is leading, if anywhere at all. I suppose it doesn't really need to, especially if things stay great the way they are. For what it's worth, I've been very clear both on this forum and to her regarding my feelings about cuckolding. It will always be an option that she can pursue whenever she's comfortable, but despite sharing the fantasy with me, actually going through with it may be a little too much. Besides the pain/discomfort that the physical side of sex causes her, she is very intimidated by the idea of being penetrated by someone whom she doesn't share any emotional and romantic connections with. Hard to blame her.

    tl;dr- So to sum up... an intentionally PIV-free relationship is quite the mindfuck and isn't always easy. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, and I definitely don't think anyone should pressure their partner into such an arrangement. We're lucky that we're able to make this work, which I attribute to it being a 50-50 decision after a long discussion about the sacrifices that both of us would have to endure. The most important thing is that despite the downsides, we're able to mutually benefit so that we each experience a net positive and continue to strengthen our love - and lust - for each other.
     
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  3. zebra
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    #78 zebra, Aug 16, 2020
    Well I have been following this thread for awhile and I made a comment back in march
    Looking back at my chastity tracking I notice I only had piv once in the last 2 1-2 years
    It was after I help masterbated her to get off - she total not in the mood but felt she need to try - it was no passion result awkward and created an uncomfortable Moment in time
    She felt nothing and couldn’t get off and I could get off

    In addition I only been ask to 4 times to past
    2 1/2 to help her masterbate to get off.
    Only 3 out 4 she reached the O -
    The last time her mood blocked my efforts to help and just made her grumpy-

    In our 32 years of marriage the sex part has been tailing off hard -

    Many reasons - health weight kids stress lack feeling passion on her part towards me
    We still kiss but it not deep with passion and hug daily - We cuddle like once a month a so and maybe a short nap

    We have fallen into the roommates land for awhile now -

    So I am the no PIV group now
     
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  4. Ron33
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    Ron33 Long term member

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    #79 Ron33, Aug 16, 2020
    My wife is the same way, PIV is very uncomfortable, it usually makes her sick.
     
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  5. b_quark
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    b_quark Long term member

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    #80 b_quark, Aug 17, 2020
    To be clear, I am not even allowed by my wife to watch hardcore porn. I had a really big collection of downloaded videos from various pay sites (Wicked, videobox, etc.), and I had to delete it all because I am not allowed to see any female genitalia or anus except what is required to properly worship my wife. Of course, I still see some accidentally online or in various parts of my remaining collection of mostly femdom and cuckolding POV clips, but when I do I have to look away immediately and then delete it or censor it to prevent any future accidents of that sort. And under no circumstances can I physically stimulate my little penis as a result of any nudity I do manage to see. That is a big no no. Even when I am unlocked and pleasing my wife with my tongue and/or her huge dildo I will get scolded and punished if I touch my penis through my panties that I have wear or if I thrust it toward or against her body or try to rub against the bed.

    I can still see cocks, of course. So I have trained myself to watch certain parts of hardcore (mostly cuckold) porn, like blowjobs, handjobs, etc. and then to either look away and just listen when the PIV sex starts or turn it off. But I really really like listening to a woman getting pleasure from a big cock, so I have no problem looking away and imagining what is happening on the screen. I have also bought "rip off" and "loser porn" clips on iWantClips in which the sex is off screen or under covers or blurred. And I can watch softcore porn. I do this sometimes at night in the bedroom while my wife sleeps, and she will often wake up and see what I'm watching and laugh at me.

    All of this definitely reinforces my feelings of submission and sexual inadequacy. It is extremely powerful to watch and see only what I am allowed and to listen to real men giving women the sexual satisfaction they deserve, knowing that not only will I never ever have given a woman an orgasm with my meager, prematurely ejaculating penis, but also I will never again even have the opportunity to try. And on top of that I can't even see the actual act. I can only listen to it and watch simulated or obscured sex.

    And, actually, not being allowed to see a female anus is probably the most difficult for me, which of course is exactly what my wife had in mind when she forbade it. For almost all my life whenever I've seen a beautiful woman I have known that I could never please her with my penis and so my thoughts are virtually never about PIV sex. When I see a beautiful woman -- foremost my own wife -- I can think only of watching her with other, more capable men and of worshiping her. I immediately picture myself kneeling behind her with my face buried between her ample cheeks, degrading myself by voraciously licking and tongue-fucking her beautiful little rosebud. Countless times I used to jerk off to images or videos of the most wonderful looking female buttholes. What I loved most about the hardcore porn I used to watch was when the women would ride their men's cocks facing away from the camera so that I could watch her butt bounce and catch glimpses or even see her fully exposed rosebud. The effect was a double dose of humiliation and submission, because I knew from times that I've tried that my penis is too small to ride and also because I knew that all I really wanted was to be in that room with those two people having sex and get right up there and worship her ass and her clit and his shaft and balls while he fucks her.
     
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  6. ChasteBoi150
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    ChasteBoi150 Active member

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    #81 ChasteBoi150, Aug 17, 2020
    34 and the same!
     
  7. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    #82 starflyer, Aug 18, 2020
    I've been cut off from PIV for most of the lock down, I think she has lost interest in my cock, i do plead with her to let me worship her pussy and ass with my tongue and she does sometimes allow me to do this.
    I so want her to get back to teasing my cock and caging me more, at the moment i have to ask to be locked, hopefully things might turn around.
     
  8. vertical-smile
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    #83 vertical-smile, Aug 23, 2020
    I had no PIV with my wife for several years. I loved it. I have her oral sex and I was occasionally given a handjob. Not always to release.

    I am single now but I would only want a relationship with a woman who would deny me PIV from the start. I would not want it once. To have a loving relationship where she made decisions and had lovers while I remained chaste is exactly what I want.
     
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  9. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 9/9

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    #84 Lazlo Toth, Aug 23, 2020
    This is so hard to explain. But you did a good job of it. I know exactly how you feel. And I find the notion very erotic and romantic at the same time. Imagine, a woman who loved you SOOOO much, she wouldn't let you inside of her.....Seriously, I think that's hot.
     
  10. vertical-smile
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    #85 vertical-smile, Aug 23, 2020
    Yes that is exactly it. The relationship would be loving and we both care for each other. I've been cuckolded in two relationships and I love it. I can't imagine it any other way. I am utterly happy at the idea of never being PIV with my partner but she has as much as she wants. It sounds fantasy to some but I've lived this and it makes me very happy and my wife was for sometime too.
     
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