"Perfect" way to introduce your S.O. to chastity

i think that after watch all them films She wud be fed up and go to bed. or She migt tell you to go to bed insted.

 

I hope you realize that I'm not picking on you. You just happened to illustrate some of the things that I really can't stand about this weird kink.

 

I should be more precise.

 

No, I understood what you meant. It was just a good jumping off point

 

Don’t knock transactional Femdom. That’s a whole different area of Kink that my wife fully enjoys.

 

BC (Before Chastity) I did the washing up (as an example), but probably more reluctantly. If I didn't get sex, I would be moody and masturbate. But also, before, I realised I was selfish and needed to do something about it.

AD (Ano Device) I have become less selfish. If Mrs Jah asks me for something, I'm leaping up to get it, and if I don't get sex I truly thank her and, other than a few weak moments, I don't masturbate.

I'm not pierced, but the thought of pulling out the back is psychologically difficult as I'm playing along with the narrative. I know it isn't a fix all solution to a bad relationship, but in my case there has been a significant improvement, but only because that's my motivation. I rarely take her for granted, and if I do, I notice and try to not do it again. Again, because that was where I was heading before chastity. The device helps. But only because I believe in the sanctity of it.

There has been a lot of topping from the bottom in our first year, and learning from mistakes, I've had my moments, lost patience and pushed, which I freely admit has been wrong but sometimes necessary in our situation. But she is really starting to come into her own now, and we are understanding each others needs do much better. So I make no apologies.

The new dynamic, which we both enjoy, is assisted at times by the device and the hormonal changes that denial can have.

 

There are so many different reasons why men want to be in chastity. In my case, I'm not the submissive type, and have a high libido. My wife has a lower libido and we were at odds. At an extremely difficult time in my work life, when struggling with going to sleep, I found that not coming, but edging to a point and then relaxing through it, as I squeezed the blood out of my penis, helped me to get to sleep.

Chastity isn't going to change my libido, but it does redirect it more positively.

Thinking your wife is suddenly going to become this femme fatal leather clad dominatrix is a fantasy. The reality is that I think about my dick a lot. Always have, and probably always will, it's hardwired.

The game we play does help me channel that negative selfish energy a bit more positively. That requires sacrifice, compromise and cooperation on both sides.

The benefits to our closeness outside the bedroom, as well as in (which I always wanted but didn't know how to get) are clear to us both, so we keep exploring this dynamic.

Knowing I save myself for her, and not feeling pressured to have sex on my terms has a profound effect on the general day-to-day love and affection we express to each other. That hug and kiss doesn't get read as "come on baby, let me fuck you" Which gives us a deeper connection than before.

 

Hmm. Heartfelt discussion between Jah and Tom.
My reading is that both sides, paradoxically, are sincere.
No fellas, not BS.

 

darn, disappointed. thought this thread might give me what i needed.

 

Glad you enjoyed the exchange.
@Tom Allen and I are quite capable of having a disagreement and remaining friends. Not a dig at you but a comment or example on how we should disagree without taking things personally. Not happened in this thread but I see toxicity and overreaction all around us. In the end, I don't think we really disagree. I could have been more succinct in my initial comment, and needed to clarify further so my point was made. Tom knows I'm happy for him to call me out, without it turning into a pissing contest. It's how we learn.

 

i dont know really what its all about.

 

It's not a paradox, because there are no "sides." I merely used some situations @Jah Rubbings mentioned to illustrate some points. He and I are actually in agreement.

 

Awww thats just dandy!

 

I do kind of agree that Cold Turkey would be bad. I think if I just bought one without her knowing, put it on, and showed her that the reaction would not be predictable. We saw the cages while browsing toy stores one night and decided to buy together. Personally, I think that is more efficient than SURPRISE I locked it up and here is the key baby, may be a little off-putting. My wife is on here and reads what I post, maybe she will chime in on this

 

O.M.G. My wife hates mansplaining so f'n hard LMAO. If there is one thing a Domme hates is mansplaining. Right up there with, "You need to get a handle on yourself" or service people saying, "Is your husband around, sweeeeetheart?"

Things that make her go ballistic. I've literally thought on more than one occasion she might rip a guys balls off for that.

 

I am going to throw out an absolutely...hmm...maybe not so crazy idea!

You know those little Reward bookets you give to someone and they have items like Valid for:

One Free Kiss
One night of cuddling
One foot massage
One free lick job Orgasm
ETC...

THere are places online you can add what you want and they will print and send to you.

So you make/order your own and on the last one...you print
"DANGER! can be addictive and habit forming!
Using this coupon can result in Unlimited Orgasms for you, Unlimited Cuddling, Massages, manicures, Pedicures, Dishes done, Clothing washed and will stop his wandering eyes and and web surfing! ~Wink~

THis coupon is valid for 1 month of free lock-up...

You see where this is going???

All the benefits detailed and a fixed duration!

OMG! Why didn't I think of this...No Wait...I did!

Enjoy or try...let me know how it goes!!!

 

Wad this how you introduced your wife? That is, she had no prior knowledge about chastity, and this is how you presented it to her?

 

Actually no, we were very much into the fetish scene after I introduced it to her and she got a kick out of it! Hence the Property of Barbara tattoo!

I had bought a magazine which was Slave Piercing and in there were all types of chastity cages made mostly from leather.

We decided to start a leather bondage company and were doing very well.

If you own a bakery, you eat bread.

If you own a leather bondage company...you test out every single item...MANY times over and over!

Chastity was more my thing, however she realized the potential.

The secret of our relationship is communication, we talk about everything. Some things fly...some ideas remain grounded.

Let's see if this metaphor works: When you have traveled to so many destinations, so much more than the average person, you realize, don't have to go everywhere. In the end, some destinations are just too much trouble and can prove unsatisfying with the possibility of being downright DANGEROUS!

 

I assumed irony, and found it amusing. However, it would be good to have a sensible discussion about how to introduce chastity to your s/o alongside. I'm all for a plan, but eventually you just have to talk it through.