"Perfect" way to introduce your S.O. to chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Wishful Husband, Oct 7, 2021.

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  1. Wishful Husband
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    Wishful Husband Active member

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    #1 Wishful Husband, Oct 7, 2021
    I read a recent thread that talked about some reasons why letting your wife/GF/Significant other seeing you in a chastity device cold turkey could be a bad idea. I tried to think what would be a good way to introduce them to the concept in a way that won't cause issues. I think I've come up with the perfect plan. (Of course this isn't what I did. I messed mine up pretty well, just like I suspect many people here have, as there are few "right" ways to bring it up!)

    Here's the idea. Suggest to her that you want to watch a Mel Brooks marathon. (I realize I've already lost some of you.) The goal is to get to his movie "Robin Hood, Men in Tights" but you can't just jump straight to that one. Start with one of the classics, like "Young Frankenstein." "SpaceBalls" can also work. (I have a warm place in my heart for "Blazing Saddles," but that can be problematic for other reasons so I'd stick with some of the others.).

    After you watch the good one you then say "why don't we watch another one" and suggest "Robin Hood, Men in Tights." After all, it has a great cast (Cary Elwes, Dave Chapelle and so many great comedians it would take too much time to list them all), and the Robin Hood actually speaks with an English accent (unlike the Kevin Costner version). And when you look at the quality of all the Big Tentpole Robin Hood movies to come out in the last 30 years, it's probably the best one. And I really like Taron Egerton so the latest one really disappointed me. Sorry, getting off topic.

    Now, on to the best part! Why did we need to get to watching Robin Hood, Men in Tights? It's because it features a (you guessed it) a chastity belt. Granted, it's on Maid Marion, and not a guy. But now you've seen something that features a chastity belt (without making it any weirder than watching at a minimum of two Mel Brooks movies, maybe three if you can't make the jump straight from "Young Frankenstein" to "Robin Hood") and you can now mention it in conversation. I would of course start by stating how barbaric it was that chastity belts were put upon women against their wills. (It doesn't matter that the evidence for this practice in the Middle Ages doesn't really exist. It's a commonly held theory that they were, and that's what we are counting on here.). But you can then pivot and say something like "I wonder if there's any modern day equivalent to that for guys? I'd love for you to hold my key." That now frees you to search (or reveal the evidence of what you've already searched for, since if you are reading this then come on, we know you have extensively) and can then mention all the positive things you've read about it and how it improves the dynamic between the KH and the person in chastity.

    In my mind, I see no way this can go wrong. And it's certainly not any worse than what I actually did. (Which was so long ago I can hardly remember but, um, it didn't go great at all . . .)

    For those that are curious, here is a link to a clip of it on YouTube. I hope it brings a smile to your day!
     
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  2. Gonzo
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    #2 Gonzo, Oct 7, 2021
    Terrific movie but i think relationships are built on honesty and this "petfect plan" isn't really honest imo.
     
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  3. Wishful Husband
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    Wishful Husband Active member

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    #3 Wishful Husband, Oct 7, 2021
    The quotes were quite deliberately put around "perfect"!
     
  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    #4 King Hippo, Oct 7, 2021
    There exist no perfect plan, only tailored ones to your given situation.
     
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  5. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    #5 tecolote, Oct 7, 2021
    LOL. My wife would not sit through a Mel Brooks movie.
     
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  6. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #6 JaySaysYes, Oct 7, 2021
    To be honest, the biggest recent shock to me is that there is a at least one definition of the term "mainsplain" and y'all might be doing it to other men, right now, at the bar/pub/tavern and every day at work.

    Feckin' mainsplainers!

    Probably.

    :p
     
  7. Tom Allen
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    #7 Tom Allen, Oct 8, 2021
    "Hey hon? There's this thing I ran across that seems like it could be some hot, sexy fun. I'd really like us to try it out. Can I tell you about it?"
     
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  8. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #8 Xileh, Oct 8, 2021
    Naw, never work.
     
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  9. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    #9 tecolote, Oct 8, 2021
    I think you mean mansplain? If not, what is mainsplain?
     
  10. Locked Biker
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    #10 Locked Biker, Oct 8, 2021
    Good morning,

    Sounds like a well planned approach...for you!
    I think that everyone must make his own plan, for every partner is different in their mindset how to deal with the "issue"
    On the other hand, one can use the framework for the inital start into bringing up the subject

    :lock:;)
     
  11. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #11 JaySaysYes, Oct 8, 2021
    Shows what I know, or a typo, I guess.
     
  12. King Hippo
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    #12 King Hippo, Oct 8, 2021
    If my wife said she wasn't interested in it at all at the start, it would have killed it & we would have moved on as if nothing happened. A lot stranger stuff happens in a marriage than this, lol.
     
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  13. madams-sissysub
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    #13 madams-sissysub, Oct 8, 2021
    same here!
    But I admire how much thought the OP has put in to it.
     
  14. Wishful Husband
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    #14 Wishful Husband, Oct 8, 2021
    To be clear I'm not at all suggesting this a good way to bring the topic up. But I *was* thinking of chastity in pop culture, and I think this movie may have been my first introduction to it. I can't think of a lot of other examples in movies at least.

    And quite frankly Young Frankenstein really is a classic. The amount of time and effort that went into the parody of the old movies was astonishing. He got lazier in some of his later movies, but this one fired on all cylinders.
     
  15. Wishful Husband
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    #15 Wishful Husband, Oct 8, 2021
    I do want to thank you for your blog. That helped me to understand chastity a lot better years ago when I went through another phase of being interested in it. Thanks for sharing your journey! And this is probably better advice than my totally serious advice on how to do this ;)
     
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  16. DonnaSue
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    #16 DonnaSue, Oct 8, 2021
    Most women hate the thought of their guy masturbating! That said, why not ask Her to help you with your masturbation problem. A chastity cage is a real solution that you can ask Her to help you out with simply by holding the key. I think this approach is much more honest and good communications can be built on it. Once you're caged and She's holding the key, you cannot dare to "Top from the bottom"!
     
  17. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    #17 WillieBDenied, Oct 8, 2021
    You might be better off watching the Episodes of Californication where they use a male chastity device. They show it right on the screen and it's talked about out in the open. I don't recall the episode, but it's mentioned here on this site and you can find it online.

    Seeing how she reacts to male device will speak volumes,
     
  18. enslavedbyc
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    #18 enslavedbyc, Oct 9, 2021
    Not according to any reliable studies I’ve read. What’s your evidence?
     
  19. Tom Allen
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    #19 Tom Allen, Oct 9, 2021
    Jesus, whenever I see this posted as helpful advice, it makes me wonder if that guy (and it's always a guy) is married.

    Telliing your presumably vanilla wife that you have a masturbation problem and that you want her to help you "solve" it with a hunk of plastic on your dick makes absolutely no sense to the half of the poulpation without a dick. Why? Because, not having a dick, they can think with all of the brain cells in their head, since the blood isn't diverted to the meat tube.

    Chastity devices, unless you're pierced or wearing an expensive full belt, are not "solutions" to wanking; they are sex toys that focus even *more* attention on your dick than before. And the way that most of you seem to approach the idea is that ones wife has to do a lot of work: set schedules, unlock for teasing, only coming on prime numbered days in 5 week months. No woman in her right mind will put up with that BS.

    I've been with Mrs Edge for almost 35 years. For many years, I used to ask her to try things like bondage, wearing leather gear, various toys, etc. Each time, I just told her that I'd like to try something that I thought would be fun. She turned down a lot of them, tried a few once or twice, and... just my luck, it was cock cages that caught her fancy. But the point is that I didn't turn it into some crazy BS story about how I needed to be punished by weekly caning for my laziness, or that her wearing latex gloves would keep her from getting lotion on her nail polish, or some other contrived excuse. I had a real conversation with her about my feelings and desires.

    Guys, listen up: She's you're wife, and if you don't have the ability to sit down and talk about your intimate desires, then what you need is a therapist, not a hunk of plastic on your tonker. :rolleyes:
     
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  20. lockedbySue
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    #20 lockedbySue, Oct 9, 2021
    "tonker" that is funny right there!
     
  21. Guest 6019
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    #21 Guest 6019, Oct 9, 2021
    An amusing plan, and I see where you were going with irony. The point of the discussion is how best to introduce your deepest desires to your wife. Tom's advise is always worth listening to. Mrs Edge certainly takes no nonsense, and if your wife does, it's your job to empower her to not take your shit. We know we're doing it, about 1/2 a second too late. I would say that for me help with too much masturbation was my angle to open up the lines of communication and move chastity from fantasy to reality.
     
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  22. Tom Allen
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    #22 Tom Allen, Oct 9, 2021
    Mrs Edge does not have to take BS because I don't give her any. I have too much respect for her *and* myself to come up with some contrived nonsense like I've seen by other guys over the years. It's like a lot of you think you're living in a TV sitcom and you get points for making this stuff up.

    She's been peeking into some of this recently via Tumblr, and she goes between feeling sorry for a lot of you, to being disgusted. Again, if you can't approach your own wife and tell her that you'd like to try something fun in the bedroom, the problem isn't your wife it's your entire relationship. Fix that before you get into the role play and expensive toys.
     
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    #23 Guest 6019, Oct 9, 2021
    Sorry Tom, I didn't mean to imply that you did. In my rush take a point before going shopping, that may have come out wrong.

    Reading Mrs Edges Tumblr her advice to guys is very consistent, and she often says that the key to success is that you were very patient and not demanding. Not easy to do, but we should all strive for it, within our our dynamic. The reality of a 24/7 chastity lifestyle is wonderful, but not 24/7 for her. When we push for more, we make it about us, not them.
     
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  24. Tom Allen
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    #24 Tom Allen, Oct 9, 2021
    See, this is one of the biggest of the BS that gets passed around the "chastity community" (such as it is). It's not all about her. It's about *you* and your dick. Most people know that I have been saying this for years: If you can do the washing up with your dick in a cage, then you can do the washing up without it. Trying to bargain with your wife is trading sexual attention for chores. We already have a name for that kind of transaction.
     
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    #25 Guest 6019, Oct 9, 2021
    Indeed. Anything in a relationship is give and take. I should have said "more about us, than them"
     
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