New Wife and New Life

Muppet, I see your point, thank you pointing that out. When we are together, I do try to make it a point that the caged parts are hers to play with to her pleasure. I will try to keep this in mind.

GULP!!!

 

Welcome and thank you for being so candid on what must be difficult for you . Glad you are brave enough to be open.

 

Actually, if you’re thinking of getting it pierced you might also consider an apadravya that goes through the glans vertically from top to bottom. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apadravya
You might then use a padlock with an elongated shackle:

This would be by far the most secure way to secure a cage. Probably not the most comfortable to wear on a permanent basis but you could reserve the padlock option for times when you feel he’s more likely to be tempted, and at other times just use a shorter straight bar. My guess is that he’d be highly motivated to avoid the former option!
Having you accompany him to the piercer so you can witness the procedure would be a wonderful way for him to demonstrate his total commitment to you going forward - from your posts on this thread it’s clear this commitment is present, but what better way to symbolise it? Reading between the lines I sense that your husband is a little anxious at the thought but I’m sure your reassuring presence would overcome that!

 

The thing is, I know from experience how it’s possible to love someone deeply but still allow a compulsion to infidelity to ruin a marriage. I can see that you want to change and really hope you succeed where I failed.
I’m no longer married and my situation is that a female friend has me locked up. She has no intention of permitting me to experience any sexual pleasure again. I accept this as fair recompense for my past behaviour but it’s extremely hard. My strong advice would be to turn your situation around now and submit completely to your wife, who clearly loves you!

 

I feel PA coming on, with a new lock and key.
What do they say? chastity really starts when you want out
Congratulations on your new journey

 

I read this post 3 or 4 days ago but haven't replied yet because there is a lot to unpack here and I wanted to think about it before responding.

Claud_Bear, Here's some ice cold water for what you have done.

You married this woman, and you made vows to her. Most likely in front of both her and your families and your children. You broke those vows. Multiple times. You hurt her feelings, multiple times. You put her at risk of catching STD's, multiple times.

You let another woman see HER Dick. You pleasured another woman with HER Dick. You received pleasure from another woman with HER Dick. You risked creating a child out of wedlock. All Multiple times.

You betrayed the trust of the person closest to you, multiple times. You betrayed the trust of your family, her family, and your children. Multiple times.

Then to top it off, you created a burden on her to "keep you in check" by introducing her to Chastity. You manipulated her into doing something she isn't even entirely sure she is comfortable with. To solve a problem YOU created.

What type of man are you? How do you want to be remembered when you die? How do you want your children and family to speak about you when you are not in the room?

If you treat your wife this way, how do you treat acquaintances and strangers? Are you a grade A Asshole? The guy who just takes what he wants and laughs at the misfortune of others? This isn't high school. You are a grown ass adult.

Ruffian,

Schedule this man for a PA, and find a device with a secure lock (see the newest Holy Trainer cage). He will learn to be careful what he wished for. True chastity is wanting to get out but not being able to. A man can pull out of pretty much any device without a PA. Hell, I could pull out of mine if I wanted to but I just don't do that because I have accepted that my pleasure belongs to my wife.

And in regards to your other post, YOU are not caged. It is YOUR property, you can use it anytime you want, as often or as little as YOU want, and put it back into it's little home immediately when finished.

You are a very forgiving woman. You now have the ability to take charge in this relationship for the benefit of your marriage and your personal pleasure. You have every right to do so because your husband has demonstrated a repeated failure to accomplish the same. You can do this, and don't feel bad. You may also look into domestic discipline. If I was you here, his ass would be purple quite often until he's in check.

 

Plumpy,

I do appreciate your passion and perspective. You are correct that I should be ashamed of myself, my actions and choices. I am ashamed and regret what I have done. I can only spend the rest of my life just trying to make up for the many wrongs. I can't make excuses for what I have done. Only thing I want to say is there are a lot of very complicated details you don't know and you have wrong in the picture you have. But the fact is I did wrong and I am committed to just trying to makeup for what I have done. When it comes down to it, I broke my vows and I will have to do everything I can to earn her trust back.
Thank you for your compassion for Ruffian and wanting her to be treated like the Queen she is and has always been.

 

Well, Claud_Bear has replied with good grace to what you said, as is appropriate for someone who’s taking responsibility for his mistakes. But as a third party, let me say this: it’s not your place to call him out on his behaviour, your tirade is self righteous and unnecessary. Here are two people seeking to heal their relationship and you’re telling both of them things they already know. Also doing it on an open thread rather than private message. Given the tirade of intemperate personal attacks towards someone you don’t know, it seems to me you have some sort of personal issues to work through which would be more appropriately done elsewhere than here. Let’s dial down the abuse please!

 

Yes it was harsh, perhaps brutal even, but that's all I had to say and I said it. It was designed to create empowerment for her and self-reflection for him, and to increase the seriousness of the chastity bond they now share. I don't want to take this off topic by talking about it though. Feel free to disagree/agree with all or parts of it and add your thoughts. There were no Ad Hominem arguments in my post and I will not respond to those either.

 

Yes, but there's another way of looking at that...
Having a device that is impossible to circumvent means that in a moment of temptation you're not making a choice to remain faithful, you're just physically obliged to not have PIV.
We all know that wearing a chastity device doesn't stop you having sexual fun, most of us here still have full sex lives. You don't need to do PIV to be unfaithful. A kiss and grope with the office secretary in the pub after work is just as much being unfaithful whether wearing a chastity device or not.

 

Just reading about this issue and I admire your solution and resolve to make good. This changes any of my previous suggestions as your marriage should take precedence over all else. If every husband who had cheated on his wife took the actions that you have taken there would be a lot fewer dissolved marriages. I sincerely hope your Mrs will allow you whatever time it takes to win back your complete trust and forgive your transgressions. There are a great deal of husbands who have given in to the negative affects of porn addiction. In my opinion this lifestyle and you affirmative actions are the most sincere form of showing your love to your wife.

 

If I could add one new observation please. There is about 50 new eyes on hubby to now do the right thing by his Goddess ?!

 

welcome here and good decision, you should explain it to my wife.... happy new life