Hi, Robert Sale here( I go by Robby). I found this site looking for like minded people and am curious to learn and make new friends. My profile covers my story and so here I am. I am very interested in getting my wife involved as my Keyholder and look forward to all that entails.
hello and I hope she gets more involved with this my wife is a little like that too, but a vibe does still work on her
First, I would like to say thanks to all who welcomed me this week. You are more than kind. Next, I would like to update the process of finding my Keyholder. I broached the subject tonight with my wife. She was completely unaware of the term and a little surprised by the concept. She was even more surprised to find that I have been locked for the last ten days, BUT she did agree to be my Keyholder. The concept at this point is all very strange to her but I am hoping that with time she will begin to warm to it. At this point, she really has no idea how to process it but has agreed to keep my key and allow me time every 10 to 14 days for a cleaning unlock. She had a lot of questions regarding where one can find such devices(Amazon has everything), does it hurt to wear, why would I want to, etc. I will take the victory I can and let our discussion sit in her brain for a while. I assured her that I believe this could be a positive turn in our relationship but I can tell she isn’t sure what to think. She has not been interested in sex for several years now and was beginning to think I might want extramarital affairs to satisfy my needs or a divorce. I assured her neither one was true and that giving her the control of my cock would make me feel better about us. Now I will just have to wait and see how this will be processed. Updates to follow as the situation progresses.
The day after she became my Keyholder: Well, it seems after her concerns and trepidation, she is acting like all is normal. I have not started any conversations and after assuring her that I cannot masturbate with the cage on, she is either thinking it over or ignoring it all together. She said she is not interested in being dominant over me and controlling my life, so I need to convince her through actions now and words later that I only want her to have control over my cock; i.e, that I relinquish control to her of everything but going to the bathroom and basic cleaning maintenance. I will have to try to find the words to explain how giving her this control gives me a better sense of well being. I’m thinking I may need to show her more non-sexual attention(back rubs, foot rubs, cuddling for cuddling’s sake) to prove my intentions. These things went away when she announced she was declaring her asexuality. I did not want her to think at the time I was trying to pressure her into more intimate contact. I see now that may have been a mistake. But, we can and are talking so perhaps this can turn around. More as things develop.
Today is day 21 in chastity. I am looking forward to see how long this wil last; at this point, I am having very little difficulty with wearing it and every day proves to be easier and easier. Unfortunately, my wife doesn’t seem to even be close to the same page but I started this for me. It kinda bums me out that she shows no interest because if she insists on seeing herself as asexual, I figured at least she would try to work with me on this just to strengthen our relationship. It seems now this holds no interest whatsoever for her, so I have some reevaluating to do. I can accept her willingness to give up aspects of our relationship but I’m not at a place that I am willing to do the same. Don’t know where this will end up but I do know that I am enjoying my locked chastity. I suppose I will just take it day by day. More later.
I feel bad for you. Announcing asexuality seems selfish as hell. Even if she feels that way, she didn’t have to tell you. Seems to me she made a conscious decision to let you know that you should stop trying to be intimate. Even if someone isn’t interested in sex anymore, there are other ways to be intimate. I hope you guys have a serious talk about your future, compromise, compassion, and mutual respect for the others needs.
Thanks for your compassion and comments. I have decided we will talk because we have in the past and she has assured me her asexuality has nothing to do with me but I’m not willing to give up my sexuality. I have met someone online and am committed to a face to face with her so I will tell my wife before I have this meeting. I know it will hurt her and that hurts me but honestly, no matter how much we are good friends, I got married to be more than friends. I respect her too much to concoct some lie so I will be truthful and try my best to make her understand where I am coming from. I just so don’t want to be the reason she has to deal with the feelings that will come up but I can’t live a lie. Wish me luck.