New FLR- looking for guidance/ideas

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by KH987, Aug 5, 2021.

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  1. KH987
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    Hi everyone! I am new to the FLR world but instantly fell in love with it. However, I’ve been very vanilla my whole life and have a hard time thinking outside the box sometimes. Does anyone have guidance/books to read/podcasts/ websites or even ideas/help they can throw out here?
     
  2. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Yay for you! Congrats on taking that step. There is a lot of pretty good information on Amazon, and I usually say that as you learn, try to source out material on FLRs created by women, for women.

    Much like you wouldn't consult a plumber to wire an electrical panel, it's best to get advice from experts in the field. You will be inundated a bit by porn, just as a warning, and it does have its place in that for a submissive all of this is highly sexual stuff. Advice here can also be attained by other females easily as well.

    I'm not an expert but my Goddess, Violet, is a vanilla lady in her real life, and quite elegant and graceful. So in posing this to her, I made it quite clear that our sexuality can be completely contained, and she isn't expected to be a version of an ultra strict pro Dominatrix, but to learn from them a bit to gain confidence. You can still be perceived outwardly as a nice, kind, giving person, while taking on leadership of your relationship.

    Take the good parts and the things you like and make it your own.

    Very best of luck to you.

    M.
     
  3. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    First, Welcome!! Second, for whatever it's worth, my Governess always says it is about listening to Your inner voice and allowing Your self to indulge. Be vocal and be in touch with Your feelings (without letting other voices drown it out).

    On the other side, as subs, we just want Your attention and what turns us on is doing what turns You on. Ladies are just meant to be in charge of things!
     
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  4. slave_m
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    Welcome Madam :key:
     
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  5. CumSlut
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    CumSlut Active member

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    Elise Sutton comes to mind as an author of introductory books to FLR and Femdom.

    Probably too extreme: Ingrid Bellemare
     
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  6. KH987
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    I appreciate the suggestion!
     
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  7. KH987
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    Are there people who offer mentor ship?
     
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  8. CumSlut
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    CumSlut Active member

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    You're welcome Ma'am.
     
  9. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Snarky Little Thing With Keys to Spare

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    It's always reassuring when somebody (anybody) raises their hand and wants to make life decisions. It has nothing to do with bedroom activities or whatever this website is supposed to be about. I'm drawn to strength, power and decisiveness.

    I have zero interest in managing anything or anybody for any reason. I'd rather help/support. Even though I have an MBA, being promoted to a Director of anything would make me miserable. I can barely manage my own life. How I run a business by winging it... who knows. Of course things go off the rails. Nobody is in presently charge of anything.

    If you're even half of a decent leader, you could run things however you wanted. I guess some people would have to be dragged kicking and screaming into an FLR. Then you have to train them and that could take years. If you scoop somebody up and dust them off, they will make you waffles like today, not throw eggo's in the toaster.

    I'm no expert on FLR type things. Maybe find somebody who is like me, but has short hair. :)

    Nicole
     
  10. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    You will enjoy the evolvingyourman blog, written by a woman for women in your situation.
     
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  11. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    Another great resource is Krystine Kellogg's FLR podcast (https://krystinesflrpodcast.buzzsprout.com/). She describes the journey from vanilla to Domme in great stories and personal sharing.

    You can also find great discussion on the Female Keyholder's Forum here on CM and perhaps find a Mentor there.

    Best of luck!

    asa
     
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  12. KH987
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    I’ve definitely been enjoying her podcast!
     
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  13. Boneless beggar
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    Boneless beggar New member

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  14. Sissy Maid Mary
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    Dear KH987
    Welcome, I hope you enjoy your adventures in FLR and encourage others to experience what it has to offer.
    Regards
    Mary
     
  15. Shimone
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    Hi KH987,

    welcome to the club.

    We have been recently also looking into podcasts and books about this topic. Not as much for guidance as we already found our own way, but rather out of curiosity and for fun.

    In fact it was not as much fun as we thougth, as many books or podcasts as somewhat singleminded in a way. The one by K Kellog was the best by far.
    Elise Sutton with her female supremacy nonsense (at least that's our single minded point of view ;)) we did not even try.

    My advice would be to to get you an overview by crossreading ( just take in for yourself what you consider reasonable and interesting and ignore the rest for starters) and rhen head out for a munch in the real world.

    Might not sound that great to everyone - especially in the beginning beeing still new to everything and then already heading out to meet a group of freaks...
    But hey, most of them are quite common oeaple that will not bite you. ;)
    In general most munchs are just a fun evening with some wine and beer and maybe a good meal in a bar with other open minded (at least for most parts) people.
    The advantage of those munchs for beginners. First of you will find much less fakes that will tell you stories you can not trust in. Secondly - everyone of them was at one point a newbie, too so they have a lot of experience you can profit from. And for you it is much easier to profit from it on a munch than on a board as you can easier ask again if the response did not fully answer the question you had. In addition: Here and on other boards smaller, but not nesessarily unimportant small parts that can cause stuggle - especially in the beginning - are often left out, because at some point you do not often think about those anymore. On munchs those things often become funny anecdites...;)

    That would be my advice. But please do not think such munchs or other meetings the holy grail. It is by far the best source of information you can get, but you will still have to pick yourself what suits you and what not. And like everywhere you will find idiots there, too. Considering to what they might do themselfs they should be more open minded to kinks of other people, but they are not. Just ignore those. ;)
     
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  16. bondinchas
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  17. LockedTower
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    Uniquely Dominant by Ms. Rika
     
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  18. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    You have already plenty of very good reading, some are very oriented into BDSM and may fit/not fit your search, I suggest you to go to the KH only section and you will have some KH talking about their way to implement.
    My KH PHEBUSA (on this forum) does a very gentle FLR, she looks vanilla and nice but it is still a quite strict FLR where she decide and rules but makes me think I am free inside her rules.
    And I am happy with it, it is the best to have something witch is not only fetish oriented but adapted to your needs.
     
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  19. anasyrma
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    Welcome Mistress. You can contact @L-u-c-y to become verified and you will have access to a ladies only forum on here. There are plenty of lady key holders who can help you.
     
  20. Dogchasecats
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    Dogchasecats Princess Elizabeth
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    6C3575F1-C30A-452F-9EA3-0979E27404F4.png These are our current rues
     
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  21. madams-sissysub
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    One of the best resources you can read though is the mansion! There is so much info here!
     
  22. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    What style of FLR are you seeking?

    Do you want a balanced relationship where decisions are arrived at jointly (he might not be submissive) yet you control him sexually, or a dominant/submissive relationship where you are in full control?

    And, welcome!
     
  23. MissyB
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    Hope all this information is proving helpful. Good luck and enjoy.
     
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  24. Tamed Male
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    I second this, and recommend Rika’s other books too.
     
  25. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    My wife enjoys femdomthinktank.blogspot.com
    Also shemakestherules.com has very real life info that is worthwhile.
    Her at the Mansion there is volumes of info too, from mild to wild .

    Happy travels on your journey, it is a great ride.
     
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