Never find anyone

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by SUBBYCUCKY97, Aug 7, 2018.

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  1. SUBBYCUCKY97
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    SUBBYCUCKY97 Looking for a push in the right direction.

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    Why cant i find a long term mistress
     
  2. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    Probably because you think you are "owed" a Mistress, and you want her to serve you, your penis, and your fetishes.

    You've been here since you were 19, why did you want to be locked at a young age?

    What do you have to offer a Mistress apart from being locked?

    Have you tried wooing a Mistress instead of saying "Please lock me" in your first message?

    I wrote a few tips here:

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/some-tips-for-subs-and-slaves.27831/
     
  3. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    Maybe because you're acting pathetic and don't seem worthy of a Mistress's time. Just saying
     
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  4. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Well-Known Member

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    Look for a strong willed woman to enter a relationship with first.
    If your first priority is a mistress you will probably never find one unless it’s a paid arangement.

    Statistically speaking most young women are not as interested in Chastity play.
     
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  5. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    Desperation the cologne/perfume of choice for those that want to repel everyone.

    Think of bakery goods, if it looked good and smelled like manure, would you want to eat it? If it smells sweet, and savory what then?

    Confidence (self) being assertive and of high value will draw those of like kind. Be the kind of guy that your partner wants to covet fully and get jealous over.
     
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  6. luckyhubby83
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    luckyhubby83 Well-Known Member

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    Confidence and being personable.
    Not something you can fake .
    If you lack the above work on improving yourself be it as a student, better man(morals, class, ethics etc), are you over weight? If so work on that as well.

    Dominant women want what a vanilla woman wants as well. A well mannered man they can enjoy the company of in and out of the bedroom. One who can at a minimum-pull their own weight or even better, provide for them. Basically what are you bringing to the table to justify the attention of a dominant woman?
     
  7. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Well-Known Member

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    Are you putting your relationships before your kinks or your kinks before your relationships? There are several dedicated sites to finding partners that enjoy your same fetishes I.e. Fet life and other kinky matchmaking websites. Not having more information from you it's hard for us to really know what issues you're having in finding or keeping a mistress. One of the biggest mistakes I see guys make who are really into chastity is to try to start a relationship with chastity. It may seem "honorable" to be locked in chastity while starting a relationship, but at the end of the day all you're doing is putting your fetish first and not necessarily her. If you really want to find someone to be your mistress and want to be in a ltr with you you need to work on solidifying your relationship with her. Earn her trust and love, then all other things come after that.
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    TO be honest, you're being pretty unrealistic. It's like any relationship. you have to work at it.
     
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  9. lockedUp24byKH
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    lockedUp24byKH Yes Dear...Right away.

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    Kinks don't come first a relationship does then any kink are discussed and nurtured and grow later over time.
     
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  10. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active Member

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    Most people in new relations want to f**k each other’s brains out. Thus expecting chastity from the start is somewhat non-realistic and off-putting. You might just be better off paying a professional mistress to hold your keys.
     
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  11. Lann
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    Lann Member

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    This. honestly I couldn't imagine giving a stranger or near stranger the trust required for a D/s relationship. The trust has to be built up first. The rewards are totally worth the effort into building a strong healthy relationship before hand.

    The best things in life take time. You can't just skip all the work involved and expect the same results and rewards.
     
  12. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Well-Known Member

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    Just go to Mistresses R Us. Lots there. All in the fetish wear of your dreams.

    Oh wait. There’s no such place.

    So let’s see. Just post like you did, or better yet get on Fet and other sites and post an ad similar to all of the pathetic guys that don’t get responses. Oh wait that doesn’t work either.

    I’d say go to munches, and get involved in your local community. I’d say join Club Fem. But I’m sure both of those will get shot down as they involve effort.

    I’d suggest you go out and try to meet women like you would normally. But I suspect this is work you don’t want to do either.

    The reality is that it takes effort. You have to put yourself out there. Talk to women, treat them with respect. Flirt. Risk being shot down. Get shot down. Accept that you’ll live and it’s not the end of the world.

    I’d also suggest joining clubs, finding groups that are interesting to you. And stop looking. Instead live life, make friends and get to be known in your community. As silly as it seems old fashioned networking and community actually work.

    But I won’t mention them as they’re my “secret”. I’ve corrupted vanillas, I’ve dated beautiful women. I’ve made lots of friends, and I’ve learned to be patient.

    The reality is dominant women want guys who they can meet in person, guys who are real. Guys who make them smile, or laugh, or whatever it is that women want from guys.

    If you stop looking with your kinks first, and with your desires second you’ll meet plenty of interesting women, and if you do and aren’t a jerk, and aren’t creepy you’ll get dates, get dates and you’ll eventually get second and third dates. And If you don’t push things but learn to have open and honest and not creepy conversations you’ll learn how to introduce kinks to vanillas and women who are open to being dominant.

    And if you don’t act creepy but are a gentleman and show her your value as someone who makes her life better and who can be of service you’ll find many women are what you seek.

    But I’m not going to suggest any of this as it’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of effort and it has to be who you become. You can’t make excuses and like Nike says you have to just do it.

    So I’ll say that you can’t find what you seek because you’re not trying and you’re not doing the things you need to do to get results.
     
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  13. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Active Member

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    Very nicely said, there’s some great advice for life there. I know my life didn’t really take off till my mid 20s when I started doing the things you’ve mentioned. Now 30 years later I’m still in a great marriage, and kinks have been introduced along the way.
     
    Lann likes this.
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