My Sub Thought His Punishment Didn't Fit His Crime .. thoughts pls

Assuming the Post is real. The fact is he disobeyed you and then complained about his punishment. I think the question is not whether you were too harsh. I would question if he wanted to remain your sub.

 

Suppose it depends on your dynamic, but if I were to complain, then I would get more of the same. We do have timeouts where we discuss each others expectations, but never in the context of a pending punishment.

A

 

Never having experienced an estim plug on high, I have no context but if it is as unpleasant as it sounds and it was his first offense AND he confessed his transgression without being 'caught'...

I'd have to say his opinion doesn't matter. You are a strict mistress/KH and he needs to do as he is instructed. I only wish my wife was as discipline-oriented as you.

 

as long as you are the mistress you decide what the punishment shout be even if it to harsh but that is life. he has to learn

 

This could be the second time in a week I've had s discussion with a domme who's looking for validation that what they're doing is correct and good

 

It can not be easy to be a domme especially if you're emotionally involved and your limits and authority is being tested.

A

 

I think the punishment fitted and it'll certainly make him think twice about doing it again.

A

 

Touching isn’t such a bad thing as having a full orgasms without permission. I’be no idea how painful the punishment is but one failing is significantly worse than the other. However he was honest with you, which is worthy of noting.

 

I'm curious what he actually thinks.

Sometimes I pretend to have some independent thought myself, when in reality I just really want my wife to put her foot down and tell me how it's going to be. I have no idea why I would be so silly as to do this, either.

You may want to get to the bottom of his thinking on this topic ... and that may take some doing. I'm sure you can find a way to loosen his lips.

The one thing that I'm certain of is that when my wife really has me, there is absolutely no punishment that I would question. That he's questioning it makes me think he got a few too many strokes in

 

The punishment is whatever you see fit as long as it helps the dynamic of your relationship. It’s important to find the right balance for the two of you. It sounds like the two of you have good communication with each other and that’s great.

 

I agree with @true42 and more detective work on Your part may be warranted, @Mistress Katie G. Were You able to verify that he only did a few strokes and not go any further? The video surveillance should help clear this up one way or the other.

If he is indeed telling the truth, then perhaps ask him what he thinks an appropriate punishment would be for this. Just for information-gathering, of course. It sounds like Your word is law in this dynamic and he has no business grousing about it. Lucky him to have a Dominant who cares enough to enforce Her rules!

asa

 

Why did he do it? What triggered it? What will help him through the temptation next time? We all make mistakes, it's what we learn from them that matters. If you feel the punishment was too much, that's too bad for him, you made your decision. Don't dwell on it just move forward,.and remind him how lucky he is to have you

 

Hope you're not getting soft on him @Mistress Katie G ? Have that "talk", but punishment has been given and stand by it

 

Was the cause the need to be punished? Chicken before the egg? The need to atone for something in regular life or in the past? I feel atonement in physical punishment, though fairly vanilla in our house. I get a mental reset from a crop on my arse. Do you do maintenance punishment? Is that something he wants, or needs?

 

Taking everything at face value here, yes, I do feel that the punishment was fair. It's a good thing that he confessed but it's still something needing correction based on whatever your dynamic entails - i.e., if your rules involve hom being forbidden to do any unauthorized touching, well, then, I don't think you acted too harshly in this situation.

Personally, if I were him, I would be surprised if I were to be allowed to go golfing again without the cage (at least for awhile!).

Good luck, I hope you two smooth things over.

 

I can't speak to your dynamic or relationship but it seemed unwarranted. While I would risk losing you as a partner, I would have shoved the plug up your bum, turned it up to high and spoke soothing, loving words to you for an hour just to give you perspective.

 

Sorry, just realised that the original reason for being unlock was for. I've never felt that golf requires to be played uncaged. Average course is approx 6500 yards - 3 1/2 miles give or take, that's really not a lot of walking. We do hill climbs, mountains even (aside, I think I hold the record as being the highest caged man in the UK - Ben Nevis and that's 1300+ meters upwards).