My Sub Thought His Punishment Didn't Fit His Crime .. thoughts pls

Unless you are crossing a hard limit that has been agreed in advance, you have the right to punish a sub in any way you see fit. And if I complained about a punishment I would expect to get it repeated 10 fold until I learned my place.

 

My feeling is that by telling you he stroked himself, he has done a good thing but by stroking himself he has done a bad thing.

So, reward the good thing but tinge it with punishment so it's also not a perfect reward.

Like if he wants to cum, let him ruin and then spank his cock. Or if he likes to dress up, dress him up but take away an item of clothing that he normally craves.

Make it JUST SHY of his fantasy. That will really punish him and reinforce his honesty.

 

My Mistress is an online Mistress and as far as cleaning the cage and cleaning stragly hair there i am timed (this was figured out by using the first 4 cleaning times). Other times i am on cam doing it so Mistress keeps track. But if i ever removed it for a few strokes or rubbed my sissy sack without her permission there are punishments i don't like and she knows it and those r the ones she chooses.
So NO you are the Mistress, it is you who decides the punishments. Us subs and sissies have to live with the consequences of our actions

 

If, as you say, you are "soft on him a lot of the time...and he is an excellent sub," then I would say the fault is as much yours as his - possibly even more so. You are sending mixed signals to your sub, and suddenly becoming ultra strict with him does not make up for your past lack of oversight and failure to provide proper guidance.

Personally, your punishment at best strikes me as capricious.

 

Your post strikes me as a rude, ignorant and disrespectful.

Nobody's perfect and we are all surely learning together, even if ultimately only one partner makes the final decisions.

The fact that this lady is questioning her actions isn't an act of capriciousness, it is the action of a thoughtful, mindful person willing to learn and grow.

 

Is he in the full belt? If so you can lock the e-stim plug in when he is with you and he will never know when it will be swiched on. This might help him become more compliant with the orders. If its an Electratim plug, full power really hurts, but the pulsed settings really really intensely tease.

 

Wait, are you saying that as an intended insult?

Capricious punishment would be the absolute best

 

I really wish there was a Dislike button...I would use it here.

Look, the reality is a little disobedience is healthy. It shows that the person in question is in touch with reality and hell, as my wife says...she does not want me completely tamed. She likes a little challenge knowing that I still make things interesting.

 

Well, then, we choose to agree to disagree.

I don't find her questioning her actions an act of capriciousness. That, indeed, is "the action of a thoughtful, mindful person willing to learn and grow." It's her choice of punishment - her attempt to make up for her own previous "softness" - that I find objectionable, and the fact she is questioning her actions indicates she fears that her response went too far.

Sorry, but when punishment can be viewed as unpredictable or impulsive, that falls beneath the very definition of "capriciousness."

 

I am hearing many comments about the dynamic and that is critical. If you have a MISTRESS/SUB relationship, wonderful...then it depends on the nuances and details. I think it is healthy for the sub (if that parameter is established) to be heard...What is Most enjoyable is you get the last word:

SUB: I think you went to far.
MISS: I have heard your words...nice to know...totally irrelevant...deal with it...I enjoyed it...I administer, you accept...And as Hans Gruber in Die Hard after he hit the RV with a missile, "I'll take it under advisement Cowboy now HIT THEM AGAIN!"

 

THat and he did confess to it...that shows...Spirit..Loyalty!

 

The more I think about this...the more I wonder...okay...He touched and experienced a few strokes...Yet he did not climax. Seems to me that was a punishment in itself...see where I am going with this?

When the others say, You made your decision be happy with it I say...Be VERY Happy with your decision. You rule and your decisions need not always conform to "Should I have???"

I was coming out of the shower one day, butt all wet and I bent over to get my towel and my wife slaps it super hard!
"What was that for?"
She smiles and says, "I felt like it."
And that is what these relationships are all about. Never having to say..."I'm Sorry"

 

Exactly. I’ve beaten my sub with belts and whips for no other reason than I wanted too. It makes me feel good. When it’s finished he looks up at me and says “Thank you Mistress” I look down at him and say “you’re welcome for giving you such a privilege and honor. To be the one who gets to make me happy.” I force his head to the floor, he kisses my feet and that’s that. He knows exactly what I want and he’s more than happy to be the one to give it to me.

 

I think you guys have just moved to a different level of Femdom. I'm really glad you've got closure on this one and........ it won't happen again.

 

One hour with an e-stim butt plug at full power ...i even wonder whether this is possible ... so if he actually did it, he is a valuable sub worth keeping in your stable, Mistress Katie

 

i did it i eventually got up to 80% on the milk mode
i was counting down the seconds when my one hour was up

 

congrats !

 

Bravo! The punishment was almost metaphoric! I REALLY like that!

 

He’s lucky. I feel the punishment was very kind and not harsh enough.

 

You obviously have not used the e-stim
So you have no idea what you are talking about.
When you are in a proper Dom- sub relationship you might understand
The worst part of the punishment was that Mistress ignored me and made me suffer on my own

 

I have and you shouldn't assume things about people you have no clue about.

In a D/s relationship it's not your place to defy her. You did wrong. Personally I think the punishment should have been harder. If she feels it's right it doesn't matter what you or I say. What matters is you never do it again. And if you do this should be something that seems mild compared to what would come.

You did wrong. PERIOD.

Either you accept her position or you leave. If you stay you respect her. You do as you're told and thank her for the punishment.

IMHO you should be punished for this. For questioning her. For complaining. For being bad. And worse of all for doing this all in public.

In my case, I would never do what you're doing. As my Dommes wouldn't put up with it. They'd simply end things.

So apologize to her. And stop acting like a spoiled baby. And if her behavior is bothering you. You ASK her permission to talk about it. Then you discuss it as a mature adult.

I wish you luck as you need it.

 

And here they go with the old favourite argument "Your doing chastity all wrong! I'm judge, jury and executioner! I know best!"

To err is to be human.

There are no wrongs or rights when it comes to D/s relationships. As with sexuality, it ranges from 100% one way to 100% the other and all beautiful, interesting, valid stages inbetween. You may be a Chastity purist, but that doesn't mean you are right. Just right for you.

 

More people should understand this. Your sub is yours to do with as you please. Agree limits and then anything inside those limits is fair game. I never question what or why a domme is doing something to me.