I am an only in my family to earn money and having a job. My wife is staying at home with kids. Some years ago (5 or so) I introduced chastity in our sex life. My wife and KH accepted it, than was reluctant for a while. It looks like she has become more chastity-prone recently. My longest lockup was 16 days. Tipically I am locked for 3-7 days in a row. In most cases I am the initiator for a lock-up period, she just take control of the keys. However, it has happen that she initiated my lock-up. Recently my wife introduced a new rule: 1. If I locked myself without informing her and getting her concent, I have to pay her (quite o lot for mee, too expensive); 2. If she commands me to lock or there was her concent on my request, I have to pay (the amount, I can offord comfortably); 3. If I am locked, she can use my car anytime on her choice, I have to use hers. My car is better. I sad WOW! I was surprised and... excited. I added to this: 1. On her orgasm (she easily orgasms when I locked), I gave her money (not a big amount, but still remarkable); 2. If she punishes me or rewards me, I give her twice more; 3. If she pegs me (which she doesn't really like, she did it 5-10 times in the last 5 years ), I give her trice the amount; I would love it to happen more often. Now I am locked for the second day. I paid her for the lockup and she reminded me to pay as agreed. She accepted this game and even initiated it. Is it the start of FLR? Who else has money involved? What are the drawbacks? Is it FLR or what?
Interesting. It's hard for us to know, because every relationship is different. The real question is: Is she happy? Are you happy? If yes, then follow that path!
But thats paying her for locking your ownself… and for other activities.. does she even want you to lock up or shes interested in the financial advantage..? Its your calling.. at least you get locked with a key holder..
That's interesting. Since you two are married, the money is shared anyhow. The game just becomes a way of keeping score.
So no matter what happens you have to give her money? It seems like she isn’t interested in participating in your fetishes but will do so if you pay her. That sounds awful.
Nothing wrong with a transactional relationship. She accommodates what you enjoy. You pay for what she enjoys. A massage, mani-pedi, spa day, lunch with her friends, etc. Which she earned and gets to “treat” herself guilt free.
Thanks. You have just put is as I see it. My wife thinking the same way. Looks like we will try this path. We have just started. Interesting, how it will evolve.
My wife has the password to our bank accounts. I don't. I have an account which serves as allowance. What was our joint account is now her account. My paychecks get deposited there. She puts into the allowance account what she sees fit. Any spending other than meals while on the road, requires permission. My bank card has "allowance" written across it in magic marker. I wanted to pick up some suppressor parts at a gun shop today, and had to call her for permission. The clerk commented on "allowance" on the card, and chuckled. It is what it is. No quid pro quo. She gets everything, and then allows me to have a little. It doesn't even amount to the per diem that I get from my employment. Everything else goes to her; she decides what to do with it. She doesn't spend frivolously, but she isn't required to tell me how she spends, and certainly doesn't seek my permission.
That would be the best way.. my wife calls the shots in finance.. she earns the living for the household…i swipe a credit limited debit card for groceries which im in charged of purchasing.. my only consolation is that i have some passive investment.. but that too i have put her name as a joint-holder..
I have the sole income in our house. My wife has some inheritance from the death of her parents, but I told her long ago that I wanted no part of it. Concerned that she might ever worry about my motives, I told her that her is hers; I have nothing to do with it. Otherwise, the potential scent of conflict of interest might hover, and I don't want that. It's hers, not for me to touch. Our money is different. I earn all of it. She doesn't work. For some time, she didn't want her name on an account with that money, though I encouraged her to be part of a joint account; nothing more than adding her name to mine, with full access. This made more sense, and she did agree to a joint account for our income. I am the sole earner, for that income. Now we have a joint account, but the online passwords, I don't have; those are her domain, and as I travel, I have little or no access because I don't access online financial on the road or from unsecure hotel locations. She manages the bills, and the accounts, not me. The agreement to come to that point took some time. She's willing to hand over the password, she isn't demanding that it be exclusive, but I am fine with things as they are. More recently at an anniversary, I offered a series of conditions, among which were financial. Those conditions included her full ownership and control of all our finances, assets, etc. i offered it as a marital contract, with signatures. I signed. She didn't...but she has the only copy, which she kept, and said little more. My wife is neither kinky nor particularly sexual, nor is our agreement (the one she didn't sign) based on sex. Sex is one element, but with or without any element of sexuality, the offer, and my upholding my side of it, exists. She needs do nothing with the offer; it doesn't require a single concession from her. it states that she can change any part of it at any time, with, or without notice, that she retains the only copy, and that I, as her husband, am responsible and beholden to all of it. It was my offer to her at the time of our anniversary. It included an offer of chastity, one of authority, one of finances, and so on. In those finances, she has ownership and control over everything that I might own or have. We're a partnership, not a slave and owner, and yet in my world, hers is the final say. She has no desire to be a mistress, a key holder, a slave driver or owner/dominator/anything-other-than-wife. My offer to her doesn't require her to be, nor would I ask of her anything that makes her uncomfortable. Where we are, and where we go from here, is her choice, and I agree to the full spectrum of whatever she may choose, in advance. She is well aware that she has free reign with any finances. The paycheck is mine, so far as my employer deposits it into the joint account, but after that, I know nothing. It's hers to control, spend, save, share, or whatever. We are in a house with both our signatures on the paperwork, but it's hers to decide, and she does. My purpose is to provide the income, not to spend it. If I want to spend, I ask her permission. She can certainly say no, and I respect her decisions, no matter what they may be.
Wow! I haven't come to such type of relation and I wouldn't like to. Your story tells me, how different relations between people are. I have just started the new way of financial rewards with my wife. It looks like we both enjoy it.
I believe that there are no right or wrong answers, except to say, if it works for you, then it's the right choice for you. If it works for both of you, then it's definitely the right choice for both of you, regardless of what anyone else may think.
Likewise. And it used to mean something Now, it just means that I earn the money, and I come home and clean the house. And to think that I was the asshole who made fun of my guy friends who washed dishes ... if they only knew. She hasn't taken control of my spending ... yet. But it's the same as anything else: What she says, goes. But I no longer see that as a problem. Whatever she decides is fine with me. Sometimes the adjustment is harder than other times, but I do adjust. And usually very quickly.