Namaste, I stumbled across male chastity a few weeks ago when I decided enough was enough and wanted to take my life back from the daily habit I've had for so long. My wife never had an issue but it was always surrounded by secretive solo sessions, 'special interest' videos and guilt. I've had enough and don't want to go back...cold turkey for me. Everything I've read says that despite going dry for long periods and suffering through the ups and downs, frustration, etc...it's all worth it and happy days all round. My goddess has a relatively low libido, so I also see this as a way of coming down to a more acceptable level for her. I often feel guilty after we've done the deed, so I feel really great about how me being chaste will empower her and I know she gets just what she wants and when, and that she really wants it when it happens, no pressure on her. I'm still unsure to the level we will take this, the lat thing I want is for her to feel pressured to maintain another role/chore on top of existing life pressures (though I already take on a lot). I'm determined to fully submit to her degree of control and let her drive this so to speak. I do tend to jump into things two feet, so the key for me is to keep the pedal off the metal and let this take it's course. I've been doing the honour system for a week while anticipating the arrival of my first cage, the long and merciless from LTC, any day. I hope myv measurements aren't too far off. I love the idea of steel, though already thinking towards my second one, possibly a cherry keeper for practicality and long term daily use. I discovered the kink-3d cobra last night and I feel in love...it is a little out of my budget at present. Last night was very testing as I feel pressure building and some degree of torture. I edged the lat two mornings for some relief but determined not to this morning for fear of going over. I find it peculiar how you reach the point of wanting to finish, but at the same time not. I don't want to ruin my progress so far, but I think...this could be the last for a number of weeks. Oh, I hope my goddess counts this week. I've kept talk about it to a minimum but have provided some good, informative links for her to read in her own time. She's not really initiated conversation about it as yet. My wife is vanilla and has been supportive and up until last night I was getting the impression she was going to be a spectator. I've been doting on her to no ends this week, lots of kisses and cuddles, lie-in time, massages, leading her healthy actvities she can't motivate herself to do, pilates and meditation. This is all out of character for me. I can see opportunity to integrate my own healthy routines but of course I'll have to seek permission and negotiate all this. I think this will be a good starting point to setup a rewards framework. I teased her last night about what she's going to do with the key and I got a mischievous grin...I could be in for a bit of a ride afterall...not sure I'm ready for it mentally, she can go without for extended periods of time. We did go through a six week spell earlier this year due to her health and it felt like going to hell and back. I did lose it but determined to be mindful, apply coping strategies and keep open communications. I feel this is different as I've instigated it and I'm working hard to keep it real. I've got a lot out of reading various forums and journals here, amazing there is such a wide, supportive and authentic community. It's really helped. I hope this works out positively for goddess and I and I see this potentially as a new lifestyle for us. Fingers crossed.
A masturtation addiction that makes you feel "guilty" and "secretive" in your marriage and makes you want"to take your life back" is a real problem. You need to explain to her that you feel it is affecting you as a husband and simply ask for her help. A loving wife will appreciate that, and it doesn't have to go much further. And lay off the edging.