I have been drafting a chastity contract with a friend and here is what we have so far. I am trying to write it so it has gender neutral language and can be easily adapted by anyone. Any thoughts on any part of it are very appreciated. Chastity Contract: Minimum length of term: August 21, 2017 to posting of final grades* Max length: 1 year, until August 21, 2018 Exceptions to lock time: air travel, medical emergencies, heightened risk of discovery by parents. Conditions for final unlock: final grades for the fall 2017 semester are all As and any extra time has been served.* Reasons to extend lockup: disobedience, poor performance on assignments/tests/quizzes, Rights of the Keyholder: Keyholder may know about any and all school assignments, view all work, and view all grades. Keyholder may punish the Chaste or unsatisfactory work. Keyholder may disclose the Chaste’s locked status to anyone who is not family nor underage. Keyholder may require the Chaste to complete tasks. Keyholder may unlock the Chaste for any reason.** Keyholder may not give assignments or punishments that involve anything listed in the hard limits section. Keyholder may not give assignments or punishments that require the Chaste to travel by car. Keyholder may not give assignments or punishments that require the Chaste to spend its own money. Keyholder may not order the Chaste to stimulate its own penis. Responsibilities of the Keyholder: Keyholder must respect the use of all safe words and safe signals. Keyholder must not allow nor force the Chaste to orgasm before the end of the contract.*** Keyholder must monitor the Chaste’s grades. Keyholder must punish the Chaste for any failure to complete assignments to the Keyholder’s satisfaction. If the Keyholder chooses to unlock the Chaste for any reason, the Keyholder must restrain the Chaste’s arms. Rights of the Chaste: The Chaste has the right to a safe word to end sex, cbt, etc... The Chaste has the right to a safe word to have its cage taken off.**** The Chaste has the right to a safe sign when it is unable to speak. The Chaste has final say on who the Chaste has sex with, including the Keyholder. The Chaste may not attempt to use a vibrator on its cage. The Chaste may not have nor attempt to have an orgasm with its penis. The Chaste surrenders its right to clothing while on the Keyholder’s property (house, room, etc). Responsibilities of the Chaste: The Chaste must report any attempt it makes to stimulate its penis to the keyholder. The Chaste must keep its cage clean as possible without unlocking. The Chaste must keep its body hair within the acceptable limit set by the Keyholder. The Chaste must report any safety issues that arise due to the cage. Procedure for transfer of power: The Keyholder may transfer its rights and responsibilities to a third party only if the third party is agreed upon by both the Keyholder and the Chaste. The Keyholder may resume its full role at any time. If the Keyholder wishes to give up its rights and duties, the Keyholder must surrender the Chaste’s keys. The keys must be transferred between the old Keyholder and the new Keyholder in person and witnessed by the Chaste. The Keyholder may not transfer the keys to anyone who has not signed a chastity contract with the Chaste. No transfer of keys may be made if it requires the Chaste to retrieve or deliver the keys. Acceptable tasks: cleaning, taking pictures, giving massages, silence, wearing butt plug, wearing ball weights, Acceptable punishments: cbt, humiliation public or private, confiscation of toys, keep foreskin retracted, writing on body Hard limits: piss, scat, blood, vomit, permanent, family, illegal, shaving head/eyebrows,eyelashes, *If conditions are not met, the contract renews for the following semester. The Chaste may not cum between semesters. If the conditions are not met a second time, the Chaste will remain locked until it hits the 1 year mark. **Keyholder may add up to 1 month total to the lockup past the posting of the final grades. ***Keyholder must be present at all times while the Chaste remains unlocked. ****Orgasm from anal play or prostate massage is not counted. *****This does not mean the Chaste may orgasm. Keyholder initials Chaste initials Safe word to end play: _______________ __________ __________ Safe work to unlock: _______________ __________ __________ Safe signal: _______________ __________ __________ Acceptable amount of body hair: _______________ __________ __________ Name of the Keyholder: _______________ _______________ (Printed) (Signed) Name of the Chaste: _______________ _______________ (Printed) (Signed)
Let me preface what I have to say that everybody approaches chastity differently and what works for one doesn't work for someone else. That being said I find the contract way too long and structured. My non-chastity experience with contracts, which is extensive, is that once signed they are filed away and no one looks at them again unless someone is unhappy with the way the agreement is being handled. For my KH and myself we don't have any formal contract. Our understanding is pretty much that her penis remains locked and not stimulated until she says otherwise. If I want to get unlocked for something simple like swimming laps, I ask and she decides. I'm also responsible for any sexual satisfaction she desires and to make her life as easy and stress free as possible. So for example I do almost all of the cooking and cleaning, but we have no rules spelling out what I must do. I do keep a weekly punishment list. It is my responsibility to record when I do something wrong that either she notes or I am aware of. I present this list to her once a week and she punishes me as she sees fit. The problem I see with an overly structured contract like yours is that it's just flat out hard to remember. It becomes work to make sure you are keeping up with all of the rules and that tends to be "not fun". I'd suggest the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) method if you need a contract. 1. Chaste Male is always locked unless KH says otherwise. 2. Chaste Male shall receive no sexual pleasure unless approved by KH. 3. KH makes all of the rest of the rules. If you think you need a safe word, come up with one and agree on it, but if someone knows not to tell your family it's hardly necessary to put it in writing. Set aside some time once a week, or once a month to talk about what you like and don't like. My KH and I wrote a list of our 5 favorite things and 5 negative things and exchanged lists and then talked about them. It was enlightening. I think having a degree of flexibility especially at the start is critical. It will allow each of you to grow into your roles. Then the rules become natural second nature. I know I will make the bed every morning. It isn't a rule, but I started doing it because my KH loves a nicely made bed. On the other hand if rules and documents work for you and your KH, fire away and enjoy. Would never work for us, but best of luck.
Hi and thansk for your reply, The reason it's not a "keep it simple, stupid" set up isn't because my potential Keyholder and I are pretty new acquaintances and that changes the dynamic a bit. If we were living together and were in a relationship yes I would just give him the keys and ask about things as they arise, but since this is a more formal arrangement the grounds need to be established. He is also knew to chastity play and I want him to have something to refer to if he has questions.
I maybe should have made it clearer that is is a dual purpose document. On one hand I'm trying to set the boundaries and on the other I am trying to give him some inspiration. I have found that in the past keyholder have been a bit dull minded when it comes to tasks and punishments. I could certainly make it shorter by outlining only the limitations, but i think that expressing what he can do might help him get into it a bit
As I said, different strokes for different folks. One of my gripes with my KH is a lack of or what I perceive as a lack of tease and denial. She knows that is my opinion, but for whatever reason just doesn't get into it. No harm in trying to motivate or inspire the KH with ideas, but ultimately they are in charge. We accept their choices. Wish you and yours all the best.
I think that you will eventually find a non binding contract like this to take the control away from your keyholder. Most contracts read like a user manual. We had about 3 chastity contracts. However, I found the fun is in writing them, not actually following them. Sooner or later you will amend it and then amend it again. Sometimes your changes to one section will conflict with another. As my wife and I found out, sometimes we were both on different versions of the contract. My suggestion is to not use the word "must" or similar. What you are doing is telling your KH what to do and when. So soften it and give your KH some leeway. You need to word it so that you KH may punish you or not. No absolutes or forcing your KH to do things she may not want to do all the time. You can easily do that by saying KH may do this or that. That leaves it up to her. Eventually our contract was messy and my wife felt that it controlled chastity rather than her. What ended up working for us was only having one rule. My wife makes all the rules, does not have to tell me what they are and can change them at any time without prior notice. That put control squarely in my wife's hands. She could punish me when she wanted to or not. I like that you use a safe word. After 47 years in BDSM I learned the value of one the hard way. I also like that you are practical about when to be locked up. Chastity is not about the chastity device, it is whatever fetish it is used in if only teasing and denial like my wife and I do. I think that you are approaching chastity intelligently and not some fantasy version that we often see around the internet. That is refreshing. Do the contract if you feel you need it but just consider that you can also do as we have been doing for over 4 years, tell your keyholder your limits and anything else is up to her. With a safe word you do not have to put anything into writing since you have veto power. The sub does have all the power after all. Contracts are arousing to write and can help you organize your thoughts. Set aside some time each week to talk about chastity. You will find that changes will be needed and that makes a contract a mess over time. We would talk about what worked and what did not. We wanted to make it fun for both of us and not just me. Most women who love you will not be so keen to punish you. A lot of rules can easily make keyholding a chore as my wife complained about. Now she just does what she wants. Sometimes she will punish me as you can see in my picture gallery. Most times she will not bother because she does not enjoy inflicting pain or discomfort to someone she loves and after all, chastity is a sex game as were all the other fetishes we were in. Contract or not, set aside time to talk about chastity each month. Make changes as needed and then do the same the next week. You will find that over time what you wanted at the beginning during your initial excitement phase, will not be so good later on. After my wife did what she did to my butt in the pictures, I was not so keen on having rules that forced my wife to do that for so many infractions. Best advice I can give is to just make it fun. If a contract makes it fun, then do a contract but do not tell your KH what she must do. Leave it to her discretion or else she will be a slave to the contract and that is not what power exchange is all about. Best set of rules is just one rule; she makes all the rules. Much easier for her and no need to interpret rules or change them all the time. Let her know your limits and safe word and let her run with it. That is what I did for most of my adult life as a sexual submissive.
When we started we wrote some things down, she did not want to call it a contract, she called it our commandments. She thought a contract sounded too much like business. We have not once went back to it and looked at it. Don't get me wrong, I do because to me it's like a love note, but it's not to review the rules. Mostly it was made to verbalize our expectations. We have added more, but we didn't bother writing them down, we just do it now. She actually wrote them, will recap the hilights: I must communicate my feelings and moods, so she can keep me subbie. She will not ignore me or take my chastity and service for granted. We have a safe word and she will respect it I will worship her pussy and ass every night or the next morning with enthusiasm. Take direction orally, as well as with toys. I will keep her penis clean and well groomed. I am never to touch her penis without permission Unless we are around others I will refer to her as mistress, and she will refer to me as Nici or pet. My normal state is caged She may require me to wear items of clothing, administer punishment, or use toys. I never cum without permission, and I never bug her about orgasms unless she says it's ok to beg. We added some: I clean up my cum, she will make me if I don't. I perform maid service when possible. I removed my hard limits on punishment It changes, it evolves, we don't write it down again, we just know. I think your ideas on school is you don't mind me saying... work. If you would like to use chastity to help you with school, make a rule that kh will use whatever means necessary to help you with school. Let them figure out how. I am not opposed to writing things down, it's a great way to express both of your needs and for both to acknowledge the others.
Thanks for sharing this! You can probably merge a lot of the points. For example: Rights of the Keyholder: Keyholder may require the Chaste to complete tasks to a particular standard, including school work, and punish according to performance. Keyholder enjoys full and honest disclosure from the Chaste relating to any set tasks. Keyholder may disclose the Chaste’s locked status to anyone who is not family nor underage. Keyholder may unlock the Chaste for any reason, but not order them to masturbate. Keyholder will respect the items listed in the hard limits section (Hard limits section should include " the Chaste travelling by car, spending their own money.)