Lessons Learned

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by DeliciousDesperation, Apr 10, 2021.

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  1. DeliciousDesperation
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    So I was thinking about things on my walk today, and was reflecting on things that I have learned in the years since I started exploring my non-vanilla side in real life, and it made me wonder - what lessons have you learned during your chastity journey?

    I can start - I have learned that, like all things in life, balance is key. Finding balance between my desires/fantasies/needs/etc and those of my partner, and making sure that I take a step back out of the fantasy "fog" that I can get myself in and make sure that I am not imposing/pressuring anything on my partner that she does not want to do or is uncomfortable doing. Also finding balance between "play time" and real life. I found it was quite easy to get down a deep rabbit hole of my own fantasies, and lose sight of my partner's point of view on things. (I am much kinkier than she is).

    Oh and I also learned that when I am really, really horny after being locked up for a while, I tend to do a lot of dumb things late at night. On more than one occasion the Amazon truck has dropped off a box of sex toys that I had forgotten that I had ordered... :)

    So what have you learned?
     
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  2. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    That my penis didnt mean NEARLY as much to my wife as I thought it did!
     
  3. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    That the fantasy is almost always better then the reality.
     
  4. jehuty
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    jehuty submissive sissy

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    This is a very difficult question. The more you are into BDSM, the more you want to dive into it. We always want more. But there is no turning back. Be careful with your desires.
     
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  5. slave-in-FLR
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    slave-in-FLR Member

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    I have learnt that if I confess to my Wife what I would like her to do, she can really do it :).
     
  6. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    Oh yes I have learnt the same.
    Also that she dislikes, resents, hates my masturbation.:eek:
     
  7. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Active member

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    I have learned a few things over the years -

    If you don't ask, you don't get. She isn't a mind reader and until we started discussing trying kinkier activities, that side of my/our desires went unexplored.

    She is far more open to trying things that I had thought.

    Not having an orgasm myself but instead focussing on her pleasure brings about a euphoric high that can't be achieved actually having an orgasm.

    Being horny is actually a good state to be in
     
  8. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I have also remembered how much I love my wife and learnt the extent of her control over me.
     
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  9. LockedbyFridayGirl
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    I learned that my wife’s needs in the bedroom are very different than mine!!!

    Me Before Locked - Majority of the time.... Took her! Used it! Orgasm! Done! Off to sleep with a smile! Repeat!

    Me Now - cuddles, back rubs, leg massages, talks, hugs, breast and muffin massages, love taps, foreplay, toys, kissing and petting, giving her attention! Just making her feel Loved! All the things a wife needs!

    And the biggest thing I’ve learned is.... Communication is the “Key”! Ha! I’ve learned my wife has so much more to give when we communicate!!! As I’ve noticed with most women on here!
     
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  10. 24-7Chaste
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    24-7Chaste Member

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    I'd share these 'lessons learned', for what they're worth

    - Use some raw shea butter found on ebay on your parts daily. It provides a bio-compatible barrier between your skin and the cage. Plus allows for some easier movement or when your wife unlocks you for playtime.
    - Ensure the base ring is big enough to allow morning wood and not cause pain or over-constriction. That won't end well if you cut off circulation.
    - You should be let out at least weekly or a few times weekly for playtime so you can clear the pipes. Men who don't ejaculate regularly run the risk of increased instances of prostrate cancer if not.
    - With the right cage you can swim, workout and run lightly all while locked up. Biking doesn't work, of course.
    - Don't talk about being locked up too much with the wife or whomever or it gets old for them. We think about it all day, they do not.
    - Get pouch underwear because they accommodate chastity cages very nicely.

    Hope you find them useful.
     
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  11. Coffeeandcaged
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    That there is more to sex than me cumming. The journey is always better then the destination.
     
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  12. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    That's so true! When you're younger it's the be all and end all! As you get older and especially with the right partner sex becomes so much more interesting. Chastity certainly adds a whole new level of fun!
     
  13. madams-sissysub
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    lol! Same here!
     
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