Hi there! I've only recently been interested in chastity. I'm not sure my interest goes as far down the rabbit hole as most members, but I figured a dedicated forum would be a nice place to check things out. A brief intro: I'm currently a junior in college pursuing a physics degree. 5'4" 122lbs, kind of between athletic and skinny. Long dark brown hair a bit past my shoulders, green/hazel eyes. My tastes: With what I mentioned before, I don't think my interests in chastity are as intense or devoted as most of you. I like chastity where the lady is only a few pegs above the guy, not a full on mistress/slave dynamic. I also don't really want to push myself to go as long as I can for months on end. For me 1 month would probably be as far as I would want to go (but who knows, if I ever get to that point that might change). At the time I'm more interested in online chastity play unless someone happens to be close and our interests click. A little caveat to me liking chastity is that I'm sorta... too big for it. I don't think I'll be able to find a cage that can fit me without custom ordering one, and I don't even know if it would be worth it to me. So I'm hoping I can resolve those feelings but talking more about it with people and maybe finding a meaningful relationship. I think I've always been more attracted by dominant women. I can't say what it is, but their confidence is admirable and appealing if I had to nail it down to something. This sounds like a pretty appropriate place to meet one Naturally I have other fetishes/interest I would like to experience along with chastity, but I won't bore you with those if the last few paragraphs didn't catch your attention. I'm hoping to meet some nice (or not so nice ) ladies or cool dudes to talk to while I'm here.
Chastity takes many forms from self chastity to full blown sub/dom/FLR. There is no right or wrong but rather what is best for you but at the end of the day comes down to some type of device and a means of control. There are a huge variety of devices on the market and it is highly unlikely that you will find one that fits you perfectly on the first attempt. The base ring should be snug but roomy enough that you can get the tip of your finger between it and your body. Ideally the tube should be about the length/diameter of your flaccid penis. The concept is that a well fitting tube will constrict your penis as it becomes erect minimizing discomfort. Minimize doesn't not mean eliminate, expect discomfort and even mild pain as your erect penis pushes the device away from you body, pulling on your testicles. The other half of the equation is key control. Some are able to self-control, some need a little help. Leave the key at work, the car, or in the back yard. Some use a time lock safe. Others have a keyholder. It all depends on what you think will work best for you. What I can tell you is that that being chaste is an incredibly powerful experience and one worth trying.
Hello and welcome Adam gave you some great advice. A lot of these cheap cages come with multiple ring sizes so you can really experiment. Whatever you choose to start with expect to go slowly; a few hours then try an overnight; then a full day and so on. I would say have access to the key in beginning for safety. There’s plenty of people here at all different levels that can help you along the way. Feel free to ask. Good luck
Joey love has a good point, start slow. Many people experience some skin irritation, especially where the ring meets the body. Some lube or body lotion can help with that but if your body needs a break, take one. Things like skin discoloration, cold skin, or swelling are never acceptable and you should remove the device should you experience any of those symptoms.
Thanks for the thorough comments Adam and Joey. I have a cheap chinese cage what I bought a while ago which is significantly too small for me, but does fit if I really work for it. The longest I've gone was maybe 4 days until I had to stop because of chafing or some other discomfort. I've tried different rings sizes too, but haven't made much progress in finding what works or not. I definitely want to start slowly and work up, I don't have a burning desire to be locked for months lol. I definitely want to have a keyholder at some point too, since chastity on it's own isn't very interesting to me. Only if you have two people with a kind of power dynamic does it get fun.
Not everyone here is locked for months just as everyone does not follow the sub female led relationship role. That works great for some people but find out what works for you. I am locked because I have a jerking off habit that was ruining sex for both of us. We tried chastity and it really spiced up our relationship. I am now ready when she is in the mood. I do get some teasing which is fun but our relationship roles have stayed the same and that is what works for us. Figure out what works for you and a possible future keyholder. If you do stick with it I would suggest getting a custom made device. I started with the Chinese made devices and they were okay. I have been wearing a custom Jailbird and I usually do not even know it is there. Never any chaffing or issues. It was worth the money. Good luck with your journey.
As a switch who can be very alpha, but also can be very sunny for some times, I get you. I think one of the most powerful and enjoyable sexual relationships are when two alphas mix it up. I know exactly what is cool and crazy to do to a sub and depending on the kink with trust since people that know me knows my inner goodness that I can push over the edge. Now as you are lucky in life to be starting out, there is nothing wrong with feeling like you are doing, and with the great things happening in equality you can be in a rare and wonderful position in life to take it home. Since you called out your physical dimensions, I sense that you may have some concerns on the inside about what women desire, and I get you. So my recommendation is that you make sure you do activities to keep your confidence and physical body in top notch form. Chastity can be great to help control the urges, and if you get mixed up with women don't lead with it. Let it evolve naturally relationship wise, and my 2 cents when it comes up as it should in enthusiastic consent for sex, state you desire is that your seed/cum/orgasm is only meant to be in your partner. If asked why deeper, state that you don't want to waste the deepest gift of trust, love, and ability to create life since you believe you are a top notch guy. Be careful not to come across to condescending.