I am completely unprepared for the level of chastity my girlfriend wants

Yes, hopefully she’ll still wear it and use me for her pleasure. That’s still an amazing gift that I always appreciate

 

It gets really tough at times.
When a release eventually happens it seems like I get 2 releases over a period of a few days and then lockup starts again. It takes varying amounts of time before I get over the drop and back into proper subspace where I am of best service to my Wife.
That’s truly where I want to be. Pampering Her, and catering to Her every desire.
But I usually start to get there after a week locked and it gets easier as I approach a month locked.
It is scary though when you are totally desperate and you know your KH is not even considering unlocking anytime soon.
At that stage I start to beg for just an erection and She does not usually grant those either.
I think on some level my Wife still feels guilty and that is why I do occasionally get to enjoy an erection or an orgasm.
She definitely knows that I don’t NEED to have those things and we both feel better when I’m denied of them.
It’s plainly obvious that as time passes I’m not going to be having nearly as many. She is just kindly working me up to it.
Im probably on pace for 10 ejaculations this year and I’m sure that it’ll be scaled back next year.
It’s crazy though, the going back and forth about what I think I want.

 

That is exactly how my wife reacts. when she decided no more Os ever I almost died. The frustration grows every day. Day 506 today. She always askes me how desperate I am when she teases me or while I am going down on her.

 

Please don't forget the power play. A woman feels very powerful when she denies you and that grows. My wife cums much faster and easier since she decided I am done cumming. Power is addicting and she loves hers.

 

Does she ever get tempted to let you out knowing how frustrated you are??

 

I'm a huge fan of ruined orgasms. They definitely keep hubby in that "constant state of arousal and lust" for as long as I wish to keep him there. That's been around three months for us, and I would expect something similar if I extended it to four months, or six, or twelve.

However, I discovered long ago that hubby does a lot better when there's at least some hope of an orgasm. It can be the tiniest sliver of hope, with him 99.9% sure he isn't going to get a full orgasm, and that last 0.1% will keep him going in a way that absolute zero never would.

Thus, I think telling him he isn't going to have a full orgasm until next year would be rough. He'd have to go the next six months without that hope. However, if we spent the next six months with me always saying things like "pretty soon", "maybe a bit longer", "I changed my mind, perhaps next time" then I think he'd be fine. That little sliver of hope for an orgasm tomorrow or next week would keep him going even if in the end I didn't let him have one until January.

He'd still want an orgasm, crave it even. But that's how he feels all the time anyway, and he agrees that what he gets out of chastity is worth what he's giving up.

 

You´re so right MS Pamela, always nourish the hope is the best way to keep him in line

 

Yes that makes total sense and have a feeling that is my future, probably starting in ‘24. If things get too intense knowing I have no full orgasms allowed between now and the end of this year, my Wife is very understanding and I believe would allow an occasional one, given on her terms and when she saw fit of course.

 

No, she loves the frustration

 

This is really well said. And what I articulated to my wife last night...only better said here (so I will relay the message).

I just hit month 4 since my last orgasm, locked most of the time (including 2 months of being locked full time).

Last night my wife asked "if I could have a regular orgasm or ruined orgasm in the next week, which would I want"?

And if I wanted a regular one, I need to give her a plan for how I would handle the drop. She doesn't want drop, we've been making great progress on 'us' and drop might derail it (at least temporarily).

I think the hope/interactive dynamic is very helpful for keeping me in the right space. I explained to my wife that the thought that I might get an orgasm (regular or ruined) and never knowing when it would happen, would keep me in the space for a long time. Maybe indefinitely? But there has to be something, sometime. It can't feel hopeless.

I also recently learned about the role of vasopressin in male sexual cycle and bonding. That it is similar to oxytocin for women, but how men get emotional connection through 'challenges' and problem solving. Chastity/FLR/T&D dynamics are a perfect mix to drive that bonding. And vasopressin drops off with orgasm, so avoiding orgasm helps keep that energy going.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...-system-and-chastity.51367/page-2#post-627514

Somewhere in this mix is a great (maybe not perfect) combination.

I honestly don't know how to really minimize risk of the drop. Lock up immediately after, some after care, teasing to get me back in the head space. I would think an orgasm after 4 months with immediate lock up would have my body craving another orgasm so much I'd fall back into some kind of good head space. Or else lose my mind.

 

I must congratulate you on the brilliance of your plan. Though I have no way of knowing, I think my wife is doing the same thing , and has done in the past, simply but not bringing up the issue of will I ever have another real orgasm, or not addressing it if I bring it up. She is definitely of the same mind in getting interested in ruined orgasms or prostate milking for the first time in our long marriage.

 

For hubby, immediate lock up is important. The few times I've left him unlocked overnight were all mistakes.

Everyone is going to be different, but these days I don't really notice hubby having any drop. I think after three months of teasing, a single orgasm just isn't enough to fully satiate him. A little teasing puts him right back in the zone.

 

That's what works so well for us! Full orgasms every time! Few and far between! Not enough satiation to completely cut off the flow of VP. More teasing to amp back up quickly! You are onto something! Definitely worth a try!

 

No ruined O's either?

 

Nope, no ruins. The first month started off with a lot of activity, out of cage, teasing. Then two months was pretty quiet (not so good) and then the past month has warmed up a bit.

The quiet 2 months I think helped because I lost all horny sex drive and didn't really care about sex at the time. Now things are more frustratingly delicious.

 

Two bits of advise:

1) It's your sex life, too.
2) Don't take things too seriously.

She sounds pretty awesome and it seems like she's either playing into your fantasy or, even better, she shares your fantasy.

Talk is talk and not action. Don't do what so many guys on here do and freak out over this kind of sexy banter from the Top. Instead, banter back and build that sexual energy between you two.

In other words, Communicate. If the horny is getting to be too much, find a way to take care of it but keep it in the dynamic. For example, she might love to hear you beg for it and as a reward she keeps you in your place by having you rub one out while she watches. She may have you rub one out while caged.

It's a dynamic that you two are playing with inside of your shared sex life. There are no rules or established pattern to follow, so communicate but keep it sexy and within the dynamic. Through trial and error you both will develop over time a since of discernment for what's sexy banter and what's really expected.

 

If that's your fantasy then that's the perfect answer for you, but that's hardly THE answer.

 

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Wow.