I am completely unprepared for the level of chastity my girlfriend wants

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Forsake, Jan 31, 2023.

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  1. Forsake
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    Forsake Active member

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    I’ve got a sequence of events in the journal section but suffice it to say I recently (6 months) got a PA piercing with the encouragement of my girlfriend and am now locked in chastity. Previous devices I’ve defeated by pulling out and masturbated, ruined prior chastity use with my girlfriend because of that reason.

    She warned me if we went through with the piercing that I’d be in chastity all the time with her only releasing me when she wanted to play or have sex. Sounded good to me, it’s arguably the ideal situation. Problem is I wasn’t working up to that.

    I was looking at the time between the piercing happening and the new cage arriving as one last little hurrah, masturbating at the slightest arousal. Now that’s no longer possible. I have no way to cope with this arousal and it’s building up faster than I expected.

    Does it get better? This is such a mindfuck of a position to be in. I am already desperately horny, fantasizing about my girlfriend, getting more aroused by that, and round and around I go with chastity preventing me from getting off this ride.

    I really want to empower my girlfriend to drive this as I don’t want to be topping from the bottom but I don’t know how to handle this arousal. This is obviously what I want, but these moments of arousal are all consuming and difficult to break and avoid.

    Any advice is welcome.
     
  2. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Good luck, it only gets stronger the longer you are locked, but only if she teases you, if not eventually you will lose interest and nothing.
     
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  3. MSDB321
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    MSDB321 Long term member

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    Be frank with her, tell her how horny and frustrated you are feeling. That's not topping from the bottom. If she is enjoying the control, she will probably reply - "good, you'd better get use to it."
     
  4. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    OMG best answer you could hope for.
     
  5. Queens property
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    Queens property Active member

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    Once it clicks with them there's no going back really, embrace it, itl feel normal soon, I've recently been told its on for good, only coming off when my fiance says so. Communication will be your saviour.
     
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  6. Doug Scibor
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    Doug Scibor Long term member

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    Well, that escalated quickly.

    I think many of us wish we were in your position but all of us would struggle with the reality of being so properly confined as you are with your piercing. As long as she still plays, teases and has a desire to have sex with you there is hope for the future.

    Make her feel like the very special woman she is and thank her.
     
  7. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    I'm in the same situation and we are both loving it.

    I have to say that being insanely horny and unable to resolve it took a few months to get used to, and even now I find it incomprehensible really, but the insanity has gone and I can focus.

    As a rough estimate I'd say it took a year, and that included some long locks between the key being used (70 days, and then 120 days).

    On average I get released and teased weekly, but orgasms and ejaculations are 100% prohibited, and she loves to tell me that I had my last orgasm already, and that I need to find another way.

    I think I might be starting to hallucinate when she edges me haha BUT I can last a long time, which is a big surprise since the last full orgasm I had was last April and I had perhaps 5 crappy ejaculations (more emissions than anything else) in that time.

    It will get easier if you can just persevere and find a way to manage your own mind...because it really is just a mental hurdle to get over, and nothing else.

    I think it's worth it, at the moment :p
     
  8. Forsake
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    Forsake Active member

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    She always seems to know where I’m at. I sent her a message last night communicating this. She just responded…


    Today 8:24 AM
    You can go ahead and
    masturbate babe, not trying to
    have you all frustrated.


    I can't in this chastity babe. And
    this is something I want for us to
    do together, I don't just want quit
    because I'm getting horny. I've
    been thinking, and I think one of
    the reasons it's so hard right now
    is because I've just been jerking
    off at the first bit of arousal. I
    think it has negatively impacted
    our relationship with me not
    being ready when you are, and
    led to a decline in the frequency
    and quality of sex I was having
    with you.


    I think y’all are right, I do just need to communicate. And given the option I don’t want to go back to how things were. She’s got a lot of meetings and the weather today is garbage so she’s gonna be stressed going to them. We’ve got plans to talk later but her giving the option to just masturbate made it apparent I do want this.

    It’d just be better off it wasn’t on the forefront and could just be turned on when needed.
     
  9. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    When we first started getting into chastity seriously she bought a timed lock box and to remove all temptation she would lock all of the keys in it. It was unbreakable, much like the cages aren't unbreakable and the locks are not unpickable, but it was enough of a barrier and it sent the message that she was serious about it.
     
  10. Lali's slave boy
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    Lali's slave boy Long term member

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    My wife has altogether abandoned chastity play saying that it is a turn off for her. What should I do
     
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  11. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Start a new post and ask the wider audience.
     
  12. Lali's slave boy
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    Lali's slave boy Long term member

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    Done
     
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  13. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    You have to redirect that arousal feeling into something useful.

    That is the answer.

    Clean. Work out. Build a rocket to Mars. Cure cancer. Whatever you're good for, do it.

    Sorry, that's the simple truth. Arousal means you need to be working more.
     
  14. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    That's the reply I get from Mrs Chaste.
     
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  15. Ms Angela’s Sub
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    Ms Angela’s Sub Red Chilli Sissy Cage

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    I would suggest asking her a simple question, since she is the one that proposed full time chastity. Is she keeping you locked to ensure that SHE is your only source of pleasure…or is she keeping you locked to deny you pleasure? There is a huge difference and it’s worth understanding.
     
  16. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I would suggest you find ways to distract yourself when necessary

    and/or discuss this with her and raise with her the potential advantages of milking which can also be acheived by pegging should that appeal to her

    you do need to consider how serious you are about continuing with chastity... is it a game for you two or a life-style and to what extent in either case

    maybe she is trying to break you or find your breaking point

    discuss it all with her.
     
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  17. Rtarvey
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    Rtarvey Active member

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    Give her as many orgasms as possible any different way possible this will take up some energy and time and think of her instead of you. That's the point right?
    Keep that up and your kinky mind will think of all kinds of thoughts to entertain each other. Have fun.
     
  18. hardbodysub
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    hardbodysub BrokeTheMold

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    But “denying you pleasure” may be either an end in itself or a means of training, to motivate specific behavior and encourage submission. And there is a huge difference between those as well.
     
  19. Forsake
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    Forsake Active member

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    I asked, she said it’s so I won’t masturbate to porn/without her, so I suppose the former but I think there’s more than that element to it.
     
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  20. OwedbyJM
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    OwedbyJM Long term member

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    I was not planning to end up 24/7 and denied for months at a time either. I wanted chastity play to stop masturbating and improve our relationship. When I got the BB belt and gave her the keys I said they where hers to use as she pleases. Yes at times it can be almost unbearable, and at others I love intensity of the arousal. So I guess my point is you may also come to the feeling the life style.
     
  21. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    This (to me) is a curious fallacy about chastity. I (or anyone else) can masturbate to porn just fine in a cage, it's just not the traditionally satisfying variation with a full erection. But I can still manipulate the cage, use a vibrator, and come with enough motivation. It can be very frustrating but it's own good way.

    At the end of the day, chastity is between the ears more than between the legs.
     
  22. Miss Bella
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    Miss Bella The Head Balls Coach

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    Yeah, this is the most common-sense thing here as far as "oh my, what do I do ?? I can't take it out to jerk off!"

    If you defeat yourself mentally before you allow yourself to be open to new sensations and new feelings, how can you ever expect to overcome the overwhelming desire to 'be free'? Also, spoiler alert, being free of your confines will not resolve any problems you had that put you there to begin with.

    So my suggestion would be, buckle up buttercup-- and start finding ways to turn this into a net positive for you, your wife/KH and your situation. It starts between the ears and anything else that comes of it from this point would be because you took the initiative to make it happen.
     
  23. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I can too, but masturbating in my cage just reinforces the incredibly shameful feeling of being a cumpulsive uncontrollable masturbator that got me locked in the first place, so I really try to refrain from doing it. I still fail and spurt in my cage every six weeks or so though. It's really depressing when I do.
     
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  24. Arm II
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    Arm II Active member

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    I wear a non balltrap cage, so can get a full erection but so far, even with a vibrating anal plug and a wand, I cannot make myself cum in the cage. I just get 3/4ths of the way and stay there. So for me it is truly up to her.
     
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  25. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    You're getting just what you needed a d wanted. You both know that your masturbating was affecting your relationship with her. You wanted to stop so badly you got pierced and she wanted this so badly that she "encouraged" you to get pierced for chastity. Your feelings of need for her now that you don't masturbate are *the entire point* of being locked in chastity. Congratulate yourself and thank her.
     
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