How much does security matter

Whatever works for you.

 

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2020/04/17/consent-and-sensibility-2/

Short answer: we all are following a kinky, internal script. We are happiest when our real life meshes with the script. But all chastity devices depend upon both the idea of consensual non-consent, and the willing suspension of disbelief.

 

Locks keep honest people honest. You can't expect much more from a lock this size. These locks can be picked fairly easily, so the lock is really there as a deterrent from a quick lapse of judgment. A better, more secure setup only changes the definition of "quick" by a little bit, but it can still only be expected to deter from a quick lapse of judgment.

 

For me locks were never that important. When my wife and i first got into orgasm denial their were no chastity devices like today . it was just a promis

 

I 100% agree. Granted, every couple, and every man is different. But when I'm super horny, I am absolutely NOT to be trusted. I turn into a different person and will do anything to cum. I need a secure lock, and I need it anchored in some way to keep me from pulling out. Right now it's the rubber fixer from Steelworxx. I'm hoping my wife will be on board eventually and let me get a frenum piercing to secure it.

If I can pull out, then it's not chastity in my opinion.

 

Slightly different take here. To me the humiliation of cumming while my ball-trap chastity device dangled around my balls would be so great that I wouldn't enjoy it.

Please allow me to clarify: Like the "internal script" that Tom mentions above, if I make it patently obvious that the device is nothing more than an inconvenient appendage with no purpose, then I am truly fooling myself. Yes, I know I could possibly get out. I don't ever want to find out. What could be more pathetic than wearing a cage and trying to escape it.....in my humble opinion.

NOW, cumming INSIDE the cage.....that's a whole different can of worms.....

Overall: Security is just a word regarding my chastity. As someone else said, locks are meant to keep honest people honest.

 

Weird place to quiote scripture, but I believe there is a passage that goes something like "the spirit is strong but the flesh is weak."

The increasing amounts of neurotransmitters that gather as denial progresses ultimately changes behavior. Sex drive and hunger are regulated in the hypothalamus. You maybe a Vegan, but if hungry enough you will rip through flesh in a second to satiate that need. Thus why some people have to lock the refrigerator.

Some have the discipline to use the symbolism of an escapable device, most of us are different people when we are horny. I know I had to get a PA piercing (a lot less of a big deal than people think) and a deceive that attached to it. Plus I had to make sure it was reasonable comfortable and easy to keep clean to eliminate excuses to need to get out of the device. I can make those rational decisions when I am not crawling the wall with desire. But once desire boils over, his big brother ....irrationality takes over.

 

My longest denial period is 3 weeks, so I am certainly no where near as seasoned as many here, but for me, the device is a physical reminder of my commitment / choice I have made to my wife. I have handed over control of my orgasms, and she has say over whether or not my penis is involved in sexual play. Unlocks for cleaning and other things (sports, Dr visits etc) its "locked" away.

Interestingly, I find it easier to control the mental cravings to cum when locked up. Prior to chastity, I'd only go 2-4 days before the need started interfering with sleep and other normal daily activities. Knowing I "can't" do anything about it seems to make it easier to push those urges away. I know, push comes to shove, I could simply get the key from the draw or from my keyring and sort myself out, but I've not gotten to that point (yet).

 

Amen!

 

I'm not going to disagree, but unless you are locked into a steel device with a piercing, virtually everything that can be locked onto your tonker can be defeated. And you can still manage an orgasm while locked in a cage, so what's the point of any of this?

 

I agree that a piercing is necessary or a full belt or a tether. But once I have been in this degree of commitment, I have a very difficult it not impossible time to get off and will more than likely try and give up. Trying and giving up helps with acceptance of a new reality....at least for me.

 

My actually took me to get a PA piercing a couple of weeks ago. She is pretty serious about security. Evotion and steelworxx have some truly inescapable devices she is trying to choose from.

 

I second that. Same goes for bondage equipment and other aspects of fetish. It should be real, otherwise there is no point.

 

How is the healing coming along?

 

My point of view is that security does matter, keeping in mind that anything can be escaped from with enough time and effort.

The point is to make it inconvenient to do so in the moment, and difficult to do without detection.

 

After a week she wanted the cage back on.. it was rushed and caused some irritation. So it had to come off again but healing well now. She wants to gauge it up.

 

My love is having me get a PA not for security. But for more long term and to help with ring burn. I am currently in a nub I could get out of if i wanted but no way could I get back in. Who would want to ask your keyholder for the key to put Willy back in not sure about yours but I would be in a mess of non pleasurable pain.

 

What gauge were you pierced at? You should be careful not to rush the healing. You will likely regret it.

 

For some people, the cage itself becomes the focus of the link: it's all about being in a cage. For others, that is only either a symbol of submission or the physical way chastity is invoked. Each to their own. I don't need a cage, but that's just me. If some guys have cages and sometimes slip out of it and jerk off, that's on their conscience. Who are we to judge?

 

Whatever makes you happy I would say. For me I definitely have the desire to go for the ever more secure option but I find the thrill of having something more secure is short lived and then I want something 'better'. So I now don't worry so much about that as what I have is pretty secure and most of my focus is on how I can better make my KH happy. In the future we might look again at cage options but for now it is secure enough for us.

 

The combination of a more secure cage and a Keyholder who really pays attention to security drives me nuts (and her wet). I know it could be defeated, but not without being embarrasingly obvious amd that puts it over the line for us in a good way.

 

For us, being locked in a cage is my wife having full control of my cock. Sure, I could still have an orgasm by placing her Hitachi wand against my cage, but she even has that locked away. When I did have access to it, I only used it when she told me it was okay and that was far and few times.

I wear a ball trap device and have never been able to pull out of it no matter what I tried. Also, my wife does like to stirs things up and is always flirting and teasing me to distraction. It could be the morning kiss before coffee, the hug during the day, or climbing into the hot tub and she wraps her legs around my waist and faces me.

She makes things interesting and never dull, from letting me watch her with her GF or when I do get unlocked.