How long is a piece of string?

These are all good points. Rather than thinking in terms of play, I would say that these are all streams that some people dip into, others swim in for varying times at varying depths. So we need a term for the "permanent chastity stream" and some way indicate how deep and how long.

 

Why is it important to nail down the idea of "permanent"? Some people have the fantasy of never, ever being released, but who knows if this is every really accomplished. Is there some disappointment that there aren't reliable accounts of being "permanently" and totally 100% 365/7/24 locked up? The idea that someone might be bullshitting or deluded over a really hot fantasy? Never ending use of a chastity device is a common fantasy, but I have a difficult time believing it matches reality.

Can I give a shout out to role playing and fantasy? Some folks seem to have a difficult time with this because it seems "fake". My wife and I are not great with role playing because we are in our heads a lot. But we have played with some really hot ideas. Several times, we have had sex "for the last time". Yes, we are suspending disbelief for a little while, the same way we might while watching a movie or reading a book and really getting into the characters and story, but it can be really, really hot in the moment. A great mind fuck. Except for the "last time" we did this, we've ended up having sex eventually. Doesn't spoil it, as we have different needs at different times, and sometimes, you just want to hear something hot.

I think I could really get into a play scene where a chastity device is "permanently" affixed to me even though I would know in the back of my mind that Tom Allen could suggest all kinds of escape tricks. I'm not that handy. Would he come and break me out? Or would he remind me that it is supposed to be "permanent"? I will never know for sure.

"Permanent" can also mean that chastity has been incorporated into a couple's lifestyle, as in they intend to use the chastity device day-to-day indefinitely, but that doesn't mean a forever lock up. For example, you might be "permanently" under her "control" but not necessarily "permanently" denied sex. A chastity device isn't even necessary with the right commitment and understanding.

I last jerked off over a year ago. Am I permanently died masturbation? I don't know yet.

Language can be frustrating but it's ok that the same words don't always have the same meaning.

 

Also, there are people of all writing abilities. Some of us might be clumsy with words, or in a hurry, or typing on a mobile device while taking work related phone calls...

 

Dinosaur Alert: Words mean things. Once upon a time, there were absolutes; things like left vs. right, right vs. wrong, man vs. woman, cold vs. hot, permanent vs. temporary. In our post-modern culture, moral relativism has turned everything into a smear along a continuum. Fifty (or more) shades of grey vs. black and white. Words have definitions. They've been around a while.

I'm not sure anyone suggests that hot fantasies aren't allowed, nor has anyone suggested that you cannot use words in any way you want. In a scene, when playing or not, the use of the word "permanent" conveys a certain thrill precisely because of the actual, established, well-known and intended meaning of the word.

The main issue, I believe, is that it's hard to understand what someone is trying to communicate when the language is debased simply because someone holds a different opinion of what a word should mean, or means for them, in their reality. And this is my opinion, nothing more.

Another thought: For those alleged 1% who are locked-away permanently, never to cum or have an erection again, I am guessing that anything less (e.g. "I'll be in permanent chastity all month!") cheapens the meaning of what is pivotal to their world view, so they stand on the established definition.

If we get to the point that everyone can define things however they want, without judgement or correction, well then, purple-over sailing lemons! Forever!

 

Getting communication muddled is not a new thing. If anything, there are more avenues to communicate about sex than before, which also creates more opportunities for confusion. Could some people write more clearly? Sure. I'm just suggesting that getting the word "permanent" strikes a nerve more than other words, because it relates to how extreme some are taking the kink, versus some other aspect of kink.

 

@Giveitup is right that in any time and place, words have fixed meanings, but @shannonsanders demonstrates that they also have multiple applications: "permanent chastity" can technically mean a lot of different things, including "lifestyle chastity".

Then there's usage.

On the kinkweb, "permanent chastity" means "sealed in non-negotiable chastity for the long term". We need a term as shorthand for that experience and dynamic.

Unfortunately, as @Tom Allen points out, this is easy to appropriate and dilute. What's sealed? What's long term? If my wife applies a cable tie to my device for the evening, is that me permanently chaste for 12 hours? And using the term invites "well actually..." and "I'll think you'll find.." based on the wider meanings.

But imagine if we applied the same scrutiny to (the variations around) "sissy chastity"? By way of example: "How can you be sissy if you can't define 'feminine'? One of my female friends is more 'masculine' presenting than I am, so does that make me a sissy?... Anyway, it's not technically chastity if you get off using a dildo all the time... I think you'll find 'sissy' actually means 'sister - and you never mention any siblings... Sissy is only meaningful if all of society subscribes to toxic masculinity - you can't actually be one after 1990 unless you live outside the developed world."

So, I think we have a choice between either using language very carefully indeed - "I'm sealed in chastity as a done deal at least until early summer" - or evolve our shared lexicon and defend it with a bit of gate keeping.

I'm not sure which is best.

 

Damn that's a compelling argument for either blandly descriptive language, or else picking a new unloaded term and adopting it.

We need a term for this style of chastity - what would you call it?

 

Isn't the important thing the chastity, rather than being actually locked? So if my KH asks me to remove the device all day while we're out visiting, and I'm locked again 8 hours later, surely I'm still in chastity, as I've not had enough alone time to transgress?

For me it's the keyholder, not the locked, who drives the definition of 'permanent' - it's what she wants. Tho I prefer to say 'Indefinite'.

 

As far as I'm concerned 1 months, 3 months and so on is temporary. I suppose someone could say I was in permanent chastity for 1 year because permanent was the goal; but it turned into a temporary period of chastity for whatever reason. But any predetermined period of chastity should not be defined as permanent.

 

On the other hand the BDSM community does have established terms for different kinds of player and play style. So it's not unreasonable to develop one.

On reflection, I think I would drop the time specification for "Hard Chastity" and just treat it as a style.

I'm in "long term hard chastity", weekend boi is in "very short term hard chastity".

Or possibly I'm in "lifestyle hard chastity".

@Tallestrina There's no one true way to do chastity. However, the style of chastity we're discussing is one where there is no sense of there being a keyholder. In what you describe, the keyholder could - on whim - simply end the chastity on the spot. In permanent/sealed/hard/whatever chastity, it takes a positive decision to end the adventure. The result is a quite different experience for both parties.

 

You forgot waxing salons and nudist beaches