Hello, My name is Matt and I'm a soon-to-be 44 year old man from the north-west part of England. Over 8 years married to my wife (36 y/o) and we have 2 children together. More of that later though. During our time together, my wife and I have dabbled in all-sorts of fetish/Kink's including of course, chastity. We both knew from the word go that we were saucy devils, having met on an adult (pervy) dating site. It wasn't long before we got right into the thick of things. Together we went through, bondage play, CP, dressing up, cross-dressing/feminization, swinging, cuckolding/cucqueaning etc etc. Here we are though, 10 years down the line and things have ground to a halt on the filth side of things. Bloody kids!! Our children are now 13 and 8 years of age so carrying on at home is more or less out of the question unless the kids are staying at grandparents' house for the night. Over the last year or two, our energy has dwindled considerably and a fair proportion of the reason for that, I would lay at the feet of my wife's career, which has recently become all consuming. Don't get me wrong. It's something that she has strived for and I have supported every step of the way. What we have found ourselves in though is vicious circle. She works hard, as I do. We get home, sort out the kids, meals, pyjamas, bedtime, have an hour winding down and off to bed. I'm practically dead as soon as my head hits the pillow but she needs further winding down so she may catch up on social media and then sleep. Occasionally we'll have sex which is still great (she says) but slow, VERY quiet vanilla sex but that doesn't compare to filthy, depraved, loud sex and we both agree on this. She still frequents Tumblr (dig deep enough and it's still got lot's of porn) while I sleep she says and I check it and BDSMLR out quite a bit during life's lulls. So ultimately, we're both still horny but we're on different time zones. Day-to-day my wife is dominant in demeanour whilst I am definitely on submissive side of things. When we do play, we are both submissive in our needs so we do some switching. In my opinion, my wife is far more adept at playing Top than myself and as a result, I feel that I get the lion's share of the enjoyment which, believe me, I feel guilty about. Now to the chastity part! I love being locked up. It certainly alters my psyche to that that has been described a million times by a million blogs. I get more attentive, loving, obliging etc and my wife really enjoys it but the biggest pitfall and hurdle for her is and I quote, "I really like your cock". So on numerous chats, I have told her that if it's cock that she needs, then she could easily and is more than welcome to find it. As I said higher up, we have played with other folks and she has had a small handful of other men, either with me or without me being present. It's my dream for her to find a regular FWB or even hit the town more often for casual hook-ups but she's just not wired that way. I've kind of given up on the whole cuckold thing now. My wife knows that if the opportunity presents itself, she has my complete blessing to follow through with things. In the meantime, I'm going to suggest to her that we lock my very average 5 3/4" cock up and on a semi-permenant basis. At least for the next few years until the kids are out of the house more often. We have sex about 3 times per month these days so I don't think it would be of detrimental effect to our bedroom fun. By her own admission, after the horny part of her menstrual cycle, she can take or leave sex. It will stop me from edging so much and I'll probably be more obliging if she does ever want to increase the soft, quiet type lovemaking that she still enjoys. We'll have a good chat about it very soon and if she's good with the idea, I'll look at getting a proper device instead of buying cheap, short-term units. So Yeah. That's my introduction. A bit long winded but I can assure you that it could have been a lot longer! Thanks for keeping up. See you about on here!
My wife and I dabbled with chastity for a few years, before we suggested to each other at the same time that maybe I should get a custom steel device. That's when it all changed for the better, agreeing to order a custom device was serious commitment by both of us. Until then it was just a toy, after, it redefined "how we are".
I would love to be able to commit to the chaste life fully. Right now, at this stage in our lives, I feel it could work. Certainly for me and as a bi-product of the mild brain re-wiring in me, my wife would benefit too. We just need to work out how she is going to reap those benefits and/or manage those benefits. And there lays the conundrum of two sexually submissive people being together.
I can only speak for how it happened to me... When I got to that stage, I broke the deadlock by committing myself to giving her the benefits. When she realised what was happening, she became enthusiastic about maintaining my chastity. She's still not what I would call dominant, but she's caught on to how to manage my sexuality.
Well, here I am, 3 days deep into an uncertain period of being back in chastity and it feels so right. I plumped for the The Vice Mini and it's so comfortable! I wanted a pink one but they were out of stock so clear was the one. I'm 5.5" erect. 5.75 on a good day and although I did try the smallest spacer, we opted for the second smallest. I'm hoping to get down to the smallest, in time. My wife has been keeping a beedy eye on BDSMLR account and had noticed that a lot of the content was about cuckolding (nothing new there then), penis shrinkage and wifes getting extra marital big cock so her plan is to keep me locked for as long as possible and have me stretch her out by lots of big dildo usage with the ultimate goal of her not being able to get any pleasure my dick at all. Fingers crossed that her plan will work and she will come to the natural conclusion of having to get a lover or lovers and cut me off completely, sexually. Well, only use me for my tongue. I do want to get back into the sissy/feminizing fetish aspect of things also, including pegging but I'm not going to push anything. I'm just going to let things evolve naturally.
Thanks Kylara, A few lessons have been learnt over the years and topping from the bottom isn't conducive to an FLR orientated dynamic!
You know you're not the first couple to hit this stage of life and find that jobs and kids have cooled your once-hot sex life. Chastity is not a downside or a deterrent to her "really lik[ing] your cock." Indeed, it gives her complete control of it and the assurance that it will always be ready when she wants it, whether it's three times per month or more or less. The real issue you need to sort out is how to fulfill your submissive desires. You're pushing her to cuckold you but she doesn't want to. Instead, she can cuckold you with a nice vibrator or her wand or dildo while you throb unrelieved in your chastity cage. Good luck, and welcome.
I agree with you on most, if not all of what you say. If you go a little further down the thread, I do say that I am no longer going to be pushing any agendas any longer. If my wife wants any attention from anybody, including myself, she will ask for it. My wife knows my fetishes and desires. Right now, she's happy knowing that she decides what happens with my dick. I'm quite happy to be locked up once more with an ever increasing level of excitement and frustration. BDSMLR, Tumblr and to some degree the Chastity Mansion will keep that little fire lit. Just as long as I am ready to go along with her wishes, we're all good.