Getting serious now

I can’t imagine being locked up forever at this point, the thought of only ever touching what little I can through bars and not having orgasms sounds so scary.

 

I am certainly in the category of selfish and whilst I am not being stubborn I have been locked 20 days now and would love some attention but I am tired by the evening my mind is willing to pamper, perhaps my level of frustration needs to grow more until I capitulate.

 

I am also struggling with the fit of my cage (usually an HT2 recently). After four or five days I get sore from the ring. I have to take a break for several days to a week before I can put the cage back on without any pain. A larger ring results in my balls escaping and a smaller ring causes pain more quickly, so I think I have the right size, I just need to get used to it somehow. I would like to be caged at least every day if not at night as well.

 

With hindsight and experience you can spend a lot on cheaper devices and also have problems along the way. When you finally buy a custom device you realise it would have been less painful and cheaper in the long run to buy once. Say here locked up, if it wasn’t for the fact I was typing this I forget I am locked as it’s not a distraction unless I try to get hard, then I am reminded!

 

Once you get to that point of no return after weeks, then months, you'll actually realize what this is all about. My husband said the same thing as I was reading your post to him. What's a better mind f*** is when it IS taken off for a sensual time with your KH and you get to that point of release and she stops, looks down at you, and says the session is over. It's an amazing control for us KH's and even better for the sub who was totally in the moment and then wait! No! This can't be over!!! Aaah!!! Gotta love chastity!!!

 

I clearly have a lot to learn , whilst I want to communicate with my KH it’s difficult without topping and at the same time wanting her to discover for herself and define her role in her own way.

 

The fact that after two weeks of "lock in" you recognise a substantial different feeling, is confirming that your body and brains are doing exactly what is to be expected. After your release, your relevant "chemical carriers" will drop to bottom. They will need at least 1-2 weeks to restore and climb back to higher levels. Your story tells that you are nearby arriving at that point. The fact that in between you are not released (but hopefully teased), your "chemicals will even further climb to sky". You may feel desparate in the need of a release, but forget about that. Stay strong, go on. This is just the beginning of your experience...

The second part of your question is about "manly" and "submissive". It looks like you both need to find a new balance. My opinion is that "being manly" does nothing have to do with "be submissive". Chastity will makes you even more "masculin", as your "manly chemicals" are boosted to sky!. You both just need to work at a new social balance and you should find out which "submissive actions" your better half prefers and which not. A good massage to her does not sound "not masculin" isn't it?

 

I'm sorry about your tiff. I have found it difficult to exert my dominance without being b*****. Only being married less than two years, I'm worried that if I am b***** in this lifestyle, that I will cause an argument. But on the other hand, I don't want to be a push over either. It's a fine line that just needs to be communicated and practiced amongst both of you.
I'm sure it is especially difficult having children in the house as well. My daughter who is in college is occasionally home and we have to tame things down, though we still practice this lifestyle. It's the same when his high school and junior high son are over for their visits. We have went through stages where one of us is worried or the other is worried and we abstain which isn't right. Other times, we push the limits which is amazing because he has to back down and adhere to what I want in the bedroom or the boys will hear us.
You and your wife have the rest of your life to work on this lifestyle. No matter what lifestyle you live, remember communication is the base to build upon.

 

I agree that one can be both manly and submissive. Catering to my wife's needs makes me no less manly and is satisfying to both of us. In the same way her being dominant makes her no less feminine.

 

If my Wife behaves dominantly and I'm not in chastity then she gets on my nerves, and I certainly don't see her as particularly feminine then

 

I'm in permanent chastity, so I take her dominance as the norm.

 

Of course

 

Communication is so paramount whilst developping the new lifestyle. In particular during the actual "Covid lock-up" the need for communication might even be more important.

Nevertheless, I am realy glad to read that your both are talking. Please keep in mind that also your better half will need time and ability to change to the "her new style". Although "her dominancy" might be "natural present", still there might be a lot to learn for her how to practice and balance this to you. She might need some time to learn how to put her efforts in such a way, that you will do exactly what she wants and what she likes. Therefore, not always stay focussed on "caged 24/7", but invest your time in finding out what she realy likes.

Start to develop your "submission" by "learn to serve her" with e.g. all her favourits (e.g. flowers, champagne, massage, hot oil bath, favourite food (remind not too spicy...) etc. etc. Are you aware of all of them? Proceed step by step and create time to let her "learn about your service" and collect her feedback. Ask her what you should do to improve the level of service to her and allow yourself to learn about that.

All the best and keep on going!

 

My suggestion, don't just do the list. Go above and beyond for her. This will show her your love and dedication to her in every manner.
I started purging in our home yesterday. I knew @xcitex2 wasn't in the best of moods. I just needed to do my own thing. Next thing I knew, he was in our room purging his stuff too. As I peered into our room and just snickered to myself.
You'll be amazed at what this quarantine will do for this lifestyle and your relations...in many ways.

 

In a FLR, the female is the LEADER. A good leader motivates, encourages, leads and only uses punitive measures as a last resort.

 

Now you have to continue to direct that possitive energy you've gained during her "treatment sessions" again into her. Ask her what you may have to improve and what she in particular liked. Forget about becoming released for a while. Your Queen is important now, not your own desire! Once she may decide to release you, it should be early enough!

All the best!