Getting serious now

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Design is me, Mar 27, 2020.

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  1. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    I posted in the denial forum what has happened this week, but since it is ongoing I decided to post the `hopefully` long journal.
    To sum it up, my wife C and i have been doing this kind of female led relationship for two years where i have been on the honor system. She has come to realize that she likes me better when I am not masturbating and how I pamper her when I am denied. I introduced the cage to her last year and she made me throw it out. Of course I bought another one and wore it without her knowledge when I needed it to avoid touching myself. It has always been my fantasy to be dominated by her, but because she is so vanilla never thought it would happen. She found out I had been wearing it but let me use it only at home when I needed it.
    Fast forward to Tuesday this week. Because of the Corona virus crisis, my office is practically empty. I could literally jerk off in the hall. I told my wife that I needed to where my cage 24/7 to avoid cumming. I cried in front of her and she relented. Luckily I had purchased an Amicus cage from MCN so I thought I was prepared. She said I had to keep the key and use some self control.
    Yesterday i came home from work and told her I wanted to go back to our old agreement. The cage was killing me and if I took it off she would never see it again. To my surprise she said, "No, you made an agreement and you have to stick with it. I don't want to be bothered with having to edge you twice a week" I was dumbstruck but kept it on. Yesterday I rubbed her back and feet until she went to bed. I had a workout scheduled at a park with a group of guys and expected her to let me take it off. Nope she tells me she doesn't trust me and likes the way I treat her when caged. It went pretty well, but I had to adjust it when no one was looking. When I got back, I told her she needed to take the key, but she didn't want to embrace the whole idea of it.
    This morning I told her that she has made my fantasy come true and it would mean a lot to me if she took the key. I keep it in my underwear drawer during the day. When I got home I looked and the key was gone.
    I may have bit off more than I can chew.
     
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  2. Mrloched
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    Mrloched Long term member

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  3. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    The cage I have is called the Adaptus by MCN. I new it sounded wrong.
     
  4. slave_m278
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    slave_m278 Member

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    Please, take a picture of it; I can't find a photo of it online.
     
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  5. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    It's the Adaptus from Malechastitynow.com. It is a semi custome cage that is a standard size cage and you order the size ring. It's very comfortable.
    Today is the fourth day in row without removing it. A lot of the burning is gone and now my body is adjusting to it. The first two days were tough. My is still pretty evasive on the subject. Tomorrow is Saturday which is has been for PIV sex in the past. She still likes it, but it's not certain. I don't really have a choice now.
     
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  6. tvalex
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    tvalex Long term member

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    Good luck on the new journey
     
  7. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    Thanks for the encouragement. I am a little disappointed today. I had to remove the cage yesterday due to two sores on the underside of my testicles. I have never worn it for more than two days in a row.
    C was very adamant that I do not make myself cum while it's off. No sex last night because she wants me to put the cage right back on as soon as we're done to try and avoid my mood change back into the old me. That change is the main reason she is allowing the cage. I just turn into a jerk for few days after I cum. I understand now. A few months ago she screamed that she should have never had sex with me because of how I treat her afterwards. That really got my attention. I was unaware of the change. I suggested putting the cage on after to limit the time it takes to get in "slave" mode. She realizes that the cage is a tool to keep me in line.
    I am little depressed today without it. I guess you get used to wearing it and the feel of being secure. Of course with everything in the world going on it is understandable. It was a very welcome distraction. I think a couple of days will be enough time to heal.
    C may never be totally into it, but she has come a long way and now understands the need for the cage.
    I will keep posting. I guess it's sort of on insight into a mundane normal life, except for the fact that the man wearing a cage on his penis.
     
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  8. elias
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    elias 7/7 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    @Design is me, Just having the same today!. I am also in a bit different mood totday, as yesterday evening my Love instructed me to remove the cage for the night. The unlocking was not for any play or like that, but she just want to feel her property now and then without. This morning she verified if I put the cage back on, as she is well aware that the cage is suporting my behaviour a lot. I fully agree with your conclusion that we get used to wear it and having a "secure feeling". However, we should remain patience in letting our better halves understand why "continuous locking" brings such a lot. Keep in going!

    Tip: Use "balm with honey" to treat your sores and they are gone in a day.
     
  9. ckedslave
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    ckedslave Junior Member

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    I looked up the style of cage you have and see the size is not adjustable. I recommend getting one these: cages as a backup. Only for $18 it has multiple ring sizes and may be useful to get you by until can get used to the metal cage.
     
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  10. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    Thanks ckedslave. That's funny because that is one of the ones I started out with. I posted last year about showing my wife and telling her I left the key at my office. She made me keep it on while I pleasured her. It was very erotic. She made me throw it away the next day. It was very stop and go up until this point. I figured the hygiene issue with long term wear would be an issue so I got the open metal cage. Wish I had a backup now, but in couple of days I will try again. At least now she is on board.
    We discussed it this morning and she doesn't want me to have an orgasm without being put immediately back into the cage.
     
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  11. MrsPG’s_cuck
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    Had a similar problem and needed a larger ring. While I could fit into a 45 mm ring I would start to get burning and pinching. The 50mm ring allows a little more gap between the ring and the cage and can be worn 24/7.
     
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  12. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    @elias
    Thanks for the tip. I will try that. I have come to know what patience is all about. This journey has been going on for a few years now. I think I owe it to her because I was kind of a jerk for twenty years. I focused on being good father so I wouldn't repeat what my father did, but in doing so I neglected my wife. She agrees with me and does like the new me. It can be hard at time, literally.
    A chastity joke.
     
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  13. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    @MrsPG’s_cuck. I think you're right, but a larger ring will cost more than I am allowed to spend. I figured i would try and make this work because i have read where a lot of guys end up in smaller rings once they get used to it. I will give it one more try and see. If the sore area persists, I will have to get a larger ring.
    I do miss wearing it. My wife doesn't understand the need but puts up with it. Thanks
     
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  14. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    Easy to say but it might work out cheaper in the long run to purchase a custom Contender from Male Chastity Now. I have one with a PA fixing and you really cannot escape once locked in if you don’t have a key!
     
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  15. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    The adaptus is the perfect size cage. I just need a slightly larger ring. I need to wait one more day and will try again. My thought is that the area that has the sores will heal and be tougher than before. Of course I don't have a lot of experience with sores on my testicles caused by a metal cage.
     
  16. Locked4Her215
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    Locked4Her215 Member

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    I was having the same issue with my cage from MCN. I had them make me a custom a sixteenth of an inch larger and its made all the difference in the world.
     
  17. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    The sixteenth of an inch made that much difference? I may have to go that route, but I need to try this one one more time. If I wait to long than I am afraid this opportunity will pass. I really want to be locked 24/7. She has been known in the past for moving forward and then getting skittish and pulling back some. She does ask if I have made myself cum each day.
     
  18. Locked4Her215
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    Locked4Her215 Member

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    Yes, it made that much of a difference. I had chaffing and sores and was up 4-6 times a night with painful erections. I did just order a second ring thinking that maybe long term I'd work back down to the original. So I did not have to come out while waiting on the new ring to come in. With the new ring there is no chaffing and I only wake up 1 or 2 times a night and, once I didnt wake up at all.

    All that being said, I knew from trial and error with knock offs that I was close to the right size and the sixteenth worked great for me. I am not sure how close you are to the right size, so can not say for sure if its the answer for you.
     
  19. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    I think like you I am pretty close. I too experimented with the chinese knockoffs, but this is the closest I have come to a comfortable cage. I will probably have to get the slightly larger ring eventually.
     
  20. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    I have a question for the experienced guys who have done this for a while. My wife and I have been working on the orgasm denial for a little while and run into a problem when it gets closer to two weeks without an orgasm.
    I get extremely needy and am constantly asking her if she wants me to do anything for her. I also seem to less "manly" to her because I am more submissive. She still wants me to be masculine, but still do what she says. It's kind of a conundrum. She doesn't seem to know the answer to the question either.
    Anyone dealing with this kind of situation?
     
  21. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    Yes I am having similar problems 19 days locked , I am no good at being sub and I won’t be getting any rewards unless I do some foot rubs. I am masculine most of the time and chastity is only a bit part of our lives , I still have my own mind and being told or taking instruction is not my strong point up to now.
     
  22. Mistress2U
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    Being in "lock down" will eventually curb the attitude and point you in the right direction in treating your KH appropriately. As soon as sir starts getting lippy or out of line, he is put in his device which has prongs on the inside. he isn't allowed out until his attitude is changed. Things have been quite nice around here lately.
    We are on our 3rd year right now. I have noticed while he begs for an orgasm, he enjoys and yearns for the denied and ruined just as much. Though, it is at that time that I see his moods and actions change. So it is becoming far and few between that he is permitted to have an orgasm or even gets a ruined one.
    Last night on his birthday he found himself spread eagle and denied. Happy birthday sir. Thank you for your being my sub.
     
  23. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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  24. andy66
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    andy66 Long term member

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    That made me attempt to grow in my unrelenting prison Miss!
     
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  25. MsTara
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    Mistress2U is correct, you have to push through the needy stage , which will turn to moody and stroppy for a bit, until you get to the acceptance phase.
    The more times you do longer lock ups the more accustomed your mind gets to the cycle.
    Eventually the lock up periods become longer and you actually don't want to be let out or to orgasm (orgasm for men in chastity is a well known recipe for setting things back weeks!)
    MY husband now is locked 24/7/365. There are short period out, for about an hour or two at most for normally for edging, but he actually begs me not to let him cum.
    It's a long process mind and its taken us years to get to this point but......if something is worth doing, it's worth doing properly.
     
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