Getting married

Ask her, instead of asking a forum full of horny men?

 

Yeah, seems it's not on the to-do-list for either one of you. I'd focus on your life changing event and save sexy, kinky play for when you're settled in. JMO.

 

This is difficult territory, because with the wedding, She is likely on overdrive trying to make it happen, as all females do in the lead up. Maybe a discussion three months ago, but wow, ten days?

It' could really blow up on you. Just my .02 cents, but in the aftermath of the wedding and the blissful state, it can be brought up then just as easily, minus that formality, and will have a chance to grow. I dunno. Be very careful with this one.

Focus on Her, be a great partner throughout the experience, and if you get a moment to sneak it in to a conversation, in a very lighthearted and not demanding way, maybe.

My opinion, go get married. Make it the best experience of Her life, be a good guy through it, and hell, She will teach you to do tricks on a leash, if you ask nicely. Good luck, and congrats, btw.

M.

 

Yeah, ten days means your window is closed for at least the wedding night. Maybe you could bring it on the honeymoon and ask about it then.

 

Maybe take it with you on the honeymoon and if she mentions that the cage was forgotten about then you can pull it out and say that you didn’t and we’re waiting for when the time was right for her

 

If it means that much to you and YOU will never forget about chastity you need to ask her about it now. If you feel you can’t talk to her about it then you guys do not communicate well enough to be married.

Sorry not trying to be a dick, just my opinion. You do not want to stat a marriage where you will be resentful of her from the start, and she should know that you have some expectations of her. What if she does not want to participate? It’s fine if she does not, but will you be happy with that?

 

Ugh. This is such a good point. I know I said what I said, and do remain in the idea that ten days before a females wedding is not the best time to be bringing up kink, this comment is true as well.

I guess what both me, and @goddessviolet are not sure of in this equation is this: (She and I batted this around a bit)

My answer was to speak from the female perception and my fear is that it may offset a higher stress level in Her, and may throw a wrench into what is by design, a non kink experience in a wedding.

However, the masc part of me is divorced twice, because in those relationships, I couldn't be what I am now. They didn't want to be what I needed them to be, and as such, I didn't want to be what they needed me to be in turn.

It's a slippery slope here. The choice is to hold quiet and hope to reintroduce it, or by trying to shoehorn a chastity caveat at the last minute, a promise moving forth between you guys?

That's a tough one.

The less stressful way, imo, is to have a bit of trust in Her, and try to get Her back into the keyholder position on the other side, in the enjoyment of the success.

But it's a good point. Either She doesn't know you are this into it, or She does and isn't wanting to engage it, thus, why it hasn't come up from Her end either.

Thank you for being open about this. I'm sure you are having some jitters too.

My Goddess and I are closet experts on this stuff. Lol. We are in your corner. Just ask, and we will give you the straight answer.

M.

 

Communication is key but you should know that because you are looking to get married. You need to communicate and be honest.

 

As already said, go ask her!

 

Lock yourself up... find a quiet moment like a dinner together where you can offer her the keys. "I want to start our marriage out right with me always longing for you and you alone."

What better time to be locked up?

 

This did make me lol a little :^)

 

I tend to simply things, but you have an honest question, I suggest you ask it.

“hey sweetie, you told me I would be locked before the wedding and it’s coming up pretty soon, do you still want that or do you want to skip it?”

You aren’t demanding, adding on to stress, or adding something to her plate, just asking if you were supposed to follow up on her previous request. I will agree with the responses concerning her kink level and your future. I’m not trying to scare you, but getting married to someone that is into your kinks is a lot different than getting married to someone that tolerated them until marriage.

Being at different levels of expectations will garner resentment and hurt feelings on both sides, and being married doesn’t make all that go away. In fact it could get much worse with time and complacency.

congrats and good luck

 

I like this last idea

 

I second the idea of locking yourself up and finding a quiet moment and giving her the key. Just tell her you will be at her beck and call and will support her in any way she needs. It would be good to start the marriage off the way you want it to. Plus it would be a thrill to be locked during the ceremony.
But of course it is her decision in the end.

 

if i were allowed to speak that is what i would do==are u 2 on the same page?

 

Or how about
"hey sweetie, you told me I would be locked before the wedding and it’s coming up pretty soon, How many days before the wedding should I lock up and give the key over to you?

 

That sounds manipulative, meaning that you aren’t asking. You’ve taken the decision away and replacing her choice of if, with when. Are you taking me to Disneyland this weekend or next? Disneyland is then implied as a given.

Not only is it leading, it’s not even hidden.

 

You are not married yet, which means you should clarify the following:

Do you want it?

If you can answer this question with a clear yes, you will be unhappy in a relationship without this element.

Then you should talk about it now, before you give yourselves the yes word.

If this is an unthinkable construct for you, then perhaps marriage is the wrong path.

Because you will always look for ways to experience your pleasure and your fetish. The head cinema will go through with you and at some point you will land on another woman or with a professional to fulfill your needs.

Talk it through, sit down, make a nice evening of it, and get clear on what you want to experience. So the "little things" of "only" chastity, cuckolding, sissification, etc..

Then, when everything has been addressed and talked about and you have become aware of the advantages of chastity, you can both consider whether everything fits.

Because love and lust and two completely different pairs of shoes.

Ideally, both come together.

If not, there will always be problems.

 

In my opinion I wouldn't mention it at all, for some time.

You have the rest of your lives together to tinker with your sexual relationship and it sounds like she is open to it, for now let her enjoy the wedding and everything to do with it.

Oh and congratulations

 

@Thjeepster ooooh i luv weddings i do and i hope you has a lovley day and that your Lady has a lovley day as well. and i hope that all the bells in the church ring a lot.

 

My condolences

 

all these issues need to be resolved BEFORE the marriage or it is doomed to fail
slvdanielle

 

well it migt not be doomed .