Hello all I’m writing this partly to say hello, partly to set out how I feel now so I can look back in 6/12 months and define a baseline for where we get to. I have been married to my wife for just under 20 years and like most people (I suspect) sex has gone off the boil a bit. I found myself just wanting to achieve orgasm and go to sleep without worrying too much about my wife’s needs. I have more of a sex drive than she does and I found myself getting grumpy with the lack of attention. Over the last year or so I’ve wondered what to do about it and I started researching chastity. I read about the denial and its effect on my focusing on her needs rather than mine, and having finished a big project at work I decided I would broach the subject. I bought both a resin and a solid steel device and with some trepidation locked myself into the resin cage a week ago to see if it would fit (I’m quite big and was nervous that it would be uncomfortable). That day I wrote my wife a letter explaining why I thought it would be good for her and with a huge degree of nervousness handed her the envelope while I went for a morning shower. I asked her to text me the word ‘locked’ while I was in the shower if she wanted to explore the lifestyle. While I was in the shower my phone beeped. Slightly scared I opened the message. ‘Locked x’. We sat down and talked about it; I handed her both keys. I have no idea where they are now. Wow. In one week our entire relationship has changed. I am totally focused on her needs and she is so pleased to be in control of my cock. We kiss all the time and cuddle like we have never done before. She let me out after one week on a pre-arranged date night and it felt like we were in our teens again. She has asked that I call her Mistress in the bedroom and she has embraced the theory of denial and punishment by extension of my next release. We did one week of 24/7 and the next release date has been set for 35 days from today with release only for cleaning by her... I am not allowed to touch myself. The only disadvantage is that my foreskin has become quite sensitive and a bit swollen. We have already discussed whether I should get circumcised to aid hygiene while locked, but have agreed to defer that discussion until we get to the next release day. She is so happy - and so am I. I love the feeling of the snug tube around me and already can’t imagine what it would feel like to be able to touch myself again. This feels so right and so natural. She is delighted with the changes in me and thinks the cage looks wonderful. Our basic ground rules (set by her) are that I get to orgasm once a month, and if she orgasms more than 10 times a month then I may get a day or two knocked off my next release date. Every time I am disrespectful I will be punished by having mŷ release date extended by a week. I am very lucky.
@bluesky Pleased that it worked out so well for you. You are very lucky. Most have problems with their first cage.
Once you go with an open metal cage, it will not be necessary to be let out for cleaning. I am never let out for cleaning at all. Only to be used which is not very often. Maybe every 60 to 90 days. I keep the foreskin pulled back in the cage so easy to clean.
Sounds like a wonderful relationship! I hope you can find a nice device that works well with your body quickly! Probably one of the hardest parts of chastity!
Welcome. There are numerous chaste long-married husbands here who know exactly what you have been feeling and what you're trying to achieve. You're quite lucky that your wife has accepted this right out of the box, and now your job is to stay motivated to bring the intimacy and courtship and service back into your marriage. On the matters of devices, the enclosed plastic devices are unlikely to work long term, and I think you're starting to see that with skin issues. Go metal and open, you'll be glad you did.
Thanks folks. I’m sitting here locked after a dinner party and I couldn’t be happier. I’ll keep you posted on progress. I’m pretty sure that an open steel cage is the right long term option and I’m booked in for a circumcision to make it hygienic. Bit scary but I know this is the right answer for long term comfort and cleanliness. In the meantime we will experiment with different devices until we know what to order from someone who does customised cages. Today has been beautiful - sneaky kisses and lots of emotion that didn’t exist before we started this journey.
Awesome for you! What an ingenious way to bring it up. (music, please) "Nothing but bluesky, from now on." I guess I will chime in and give you a gold star to stick on your man card. Lol. I also, like Jim48, can go indefinitely without removal. He is right on about a stainless steel open style being so easy to clean. I basically never take mine off as well. Like many others, I suffer from stress and anxiety when I am not securely locked. It contributes to my well-being when I can avoid unlocking entirely. Enjoy. Lock on!
Wonderful, wonderful post. Your journey is similar to mine in many ways. Not only does being caged feel so natural, being uncaged feels so alien
Was a pleasure to read of your story, bluesky. Many of us will be jealous that you have successfully come to an arrangement that is satisfying for both of you. I have an online Mistress who holds my keys full time and i am very happy with Her. She and i have a signed contract that itemizes all of the rules i am to follow. Glad that you are really enjoying yourself. Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.