The last month has been pretty difficult for us. Our state legalized fireworks from June 1 through July 8. Two of our neighbors have gone absolutely crazy every night since June 1. One of them has a pyro license and is a hardcore fireworks fiend. We have 5 children ranging from 7 years old down to 11 months. The oldest 3 manage to sleep most nights, but the youngest 2 have been up half the night terrified and screaming every night since June 1. This has been unbelievably hard on our household and especially on our sex life. I've made some posts on here lately complaining about my wife's lack of libido and inability to sympathize with my needs. Well, I think she is finally starting to understand that me staying chaste for her can be a more fun for both of us if she puts a little effort into it. She knew that I was feeling really stressed from the lack of sexual interaction with all of the fireworks BS, and invited me to shower with her yesterday morning. I won't go into excruciating detail of what happened in the shower (I'm sure you all have your own experiences with erotic showers with your partners, so you can use your imagination). It was really wonderful for both of us. We almost never get to shower together because there are so few times when we can do so without any kids interrupting and wondering why mommy and daddy are in the shower together. This time was different from the other times we have done it. She was really into it and was really focused making sure we were having fun and not just having some touchy feely time between actually washing. I have always wanted to give my wife oral sex, and she has always found that idea disgusting and has never allowed my face near her crotch. I have tried a few times over the years to let my mouth stray down that direction and she always stopped me. This time I decided to try anyway, and she let me kiss her passionately all over her vagina. She wouldn't let me part her lips with my tongue or anything, but she still let me have my mouth down there and kiss her. I was in heaven and as close to living out my long held fantasy as I have ever been. I don't think she got any real pleasure from my foray down there, but she could tell I was really enjoying it and she was happy to know that I was enjoying her so much. The shower continued on with the type of interactions one would expect, lots of kissing, touching, some gentle fingering of her, and eventually some legitimate washing and shampooing. We finished just as the hot water was running out. We had a really wonderful 4th of July with the kids. We took off out of town to get away from our crazy neighbors. We packed the kids up in the minivan and headed an hour east to a town on the Mississippi River and walked along the river front sightseeing and having fun. When we were driving home my wife was commenting on how perfect the day had been. Then she said something that surprised me. She said she had noticed that we tended to have better days as a family and couple when I had recently received sexual attention. If I have had sexual attention that morning or the night before, things go so much better. I wanted to scream because I have been trying to tell her that for a long time. But, I was happy that she finally made the connection. She finally understands that giving me some attention is a really good thing for our family. If she wants an emotionally stable and happy husband, a little bit of effort pays big dividends. So, I'm feeling optimistic that things are going to be better in the future.
I haven't read any of your other posts but it is refreshing to see such an honest and believable post If you continue you your "oral attentions" as they are and don't try to push things further she might slowly come round to the idea
I hope so. It was a dream come true for me, so I hope she will continue letting me. I had never really given oral sex a thought until we got married (we were both virgins until our wedding night) and the first time I saw her vagina my immediate response was to want to kiss it. I can't explain it, that's just the reaction I had. My first time seeing a vagina that wasn't in a magazine or on a computer screen and all I could think of was how badly I wanted to kiss her there. My second thought, of course, was how badly I wanted to shove my cock into it. I can understand her aversion to it, though. I actually feel kind of the same way about the idea of her giving me oral. She has never wanted to, but I do find the idea of having her mouth on my cock kind of gross. But, if I knew it was a long held fantasy and desire of hers, I would absolutely let her do it. Even if I found it kind of gross.
sometimes it is not understood that the xy gives up all control in exchange for a certain amount of attention, excitement and adventure. when the equation becomes unbalanced there will be trouble in paradise.
Glad you had a good day and a good shower . Keep in mind there will be setbacks, but hang in there and be patient. Positive reinforcement is much more effective in the long term, but hard to remember when you get frustrated. I know that only too well.
I finally realized that this probably should have been posted in the Vault section. Oh, well, if anyone takes umbrage with it being here maybe a moderator can move it. Last night my wife confessed something to me that I think had been eating away at her for quite a while. Even after nearly two years of chastity lifestyle, she had still been harboring feelings of guilt about not letting me have erections or orgasms. We were discussing this as we made love, and I told her I was happier than I had ever been; she had nothing to feel guilty about. She looked me in the eyes and smiled and said it was a big relief to know it was okay to enjoy me the way she wants to without feeling guilty. Apparently she was afraid that I resented not being able to use my penis for anything. I was honest, and said that there are some moments when I really wish I could, but they don't last long and I really wouldn't want to go back to the way things were before we started all of this. I love seeing her happy and it makes me feel very manly and successful when I know that I'm pleasing her sexually. We were both kind of tired, so it didn't last too long, but it was one of the best lovemaking sessions we have ever had in my opinion. She didn't reach orgasm, but she was so passionate and into it. The best way I could describe it was that we really "bonded". We were not only enjoying each other physically, but also emotionally. I could tell she lost her tension regarding keeping me chaste and just relaxed and enjoyed me, and I her.
Last night was really wonderful. We had planned on spending some "quality time" together, but got a late start because it took longer than expected to get the housework finished for the night. It was close to 11:00 when we finally got into the bed together. My wife has this weird thing where she likes to leave her panties on during sex and have me slide my hand in to play with her. Anyway, she stripped down to her panties and I stripped down to my cage. We were having a good time for about half an hour, and she had a small orgasm and seemed satisfied. She rolled onto her side facing away from me to have me "spoon" with her (her favorite post-orgasm activity). We were both drifting off to sleep for a while when our 4 year old inexplicably woke up and came into our room (fortunately we were both covered up). My wife had been playing intensely with by balls before we finished and had me really moaning, and I think all the noise might have caused him to wake up. Anyway, she got up and put on a robe and went to put him back in bed. I rolled onto my back. I was kind of hot so I pushed the blanket off of me. Just laying on my back naked and was drifting back to sleep. As far as I could tell we were done for the night and I was satisfied with that. I heard her come back into the room and opened my eyes to look at her. She was standing by the bed grinning and looking at my caged cock. She climbed onto the bed and began playing with my balls again and caressing my cage. She had me play with her vagina and touch her in her favorite spots for a while. Then she pushed my hand away from her vagina and started grinding really hard against my cage and had one of the longest orgasms she has ever had. I wasn't counting or anything, but it must have went on for two minutes straight. She finished and it was back to spooning. We fell asleep for an hour or so before I woke up too hot and made my way to the other side of the bed to cool off.