Excited with reservations

I actually did today. I told her I miss sex with her, that chastity feels like denial for both of us, and that I’d be so happy to watch/help her masturbate, or finger her, or eat her out. I told her I was fantasizing about the latter all morning.

She thanked me for opening up, included the red face/hot tongue out sweat emoji, told me she loves me. Wasn’t much more of a response to any specifics but she’s busy with work stuff today.

I just wish I had a way to turn her on while I’m locked in chastity. A hard dick is normally all it takes and it feels so frustrating to be well beyond that point in arousal/desire. She always ends up shooing me away and saying “you’re locked up”

 

Huge progress!

I’m nearing two weeks locked and was at the point of desperation as far as needing/wanting relief. I tried to masturbate by shaking the cage but the one time I was successful must’ve been due to the novelty or a fluke. After giving up/giving in and just embracing it this whole body tingling/warmth feeling has been accompanying the arousal at its strongest. Wow.

I’m sure many of us have read about it but it was my first time actually experiencing such a feeling as it relates to chastity. I’ve since stopped trying to have an orgasm. I’m still horny but I’m more content in the chastity. Other aspects are still unsatisfying so I just strait up told my girlfriend word-vomit style and put it out there.

Here are some of the exerts as I don’t feel like journaling everything from scratch:

“I’m really enjoying the chastity. For me, the first few days of it is kinda meh, then it turns into kinda fun/kinky to have it on, after that it progresses to point things are at now, and I’m not sure what comes next. I’m just liking how I’m feeling, I like this feeling of being desperate for you, unwilling to resist whatever you’d want/just wanting to please you.

I want you to know that I do/am enjoying being denied. It’s making me feel so submissive. I know soon I’ll be to the point I’m just going to want the chastity off so I can have relief but you don’t have to do what I want. I want this to be about what you want, about having the leverage and control.

I also miss sex with you when I’m in chastity babe, like, it feels like you’re denying yourself sometimes too…” The rest was quite explicit and embarrassing so I’ll spare anybody reading.

There was of course a lot more but I think this was enough to open the door for communicating about this and pique my girlfriend’s interesting in taking a more active role. Friday was another horny message resulting in her teasing me over facetime. She was busy with work and I with studying, today I sit for a certification so I’m going to get back to studying. Afterward I’m heading over to my girlfriend’s for a few days. She’s all but confirmed we’ll be playing but I’m not getting out.

She’s said she’s enjoying the attention and feeling desired. Exciting times ahead, I hope!

 

Well, the chastity continues. I’ve completely opened up about how the chastity makes me feel submissive and all that, and in the moment confessed that I like the denial and that she should only let me out when she wants it off. I knew I just needed to say it once but now that it’s out there there’s no taking it back. Those few talks have resulted in a change and now my erections/orgasms are pretty much out of my control.

I’ve had two since chastity has started up again, one caged, one without. The caged one she had me use her vibrator while she masturbated next to her. I had told her that I was able to have one before with the toy and she had me show her. That endeavor had yielded a temporary but unsatisfying relief of sorts and a vibrator that is now hidden.

The other was regular PIV. It happened after a workday I was exhausted and wasn’t on the “good sex” end of the spectrum due to the fatigue after a long workday, plus some difficulty in getting it up despite very much wanting it. I don’t know if it was from being caged so long, being so tired, or maybe some sort of performance anxiety.

One of the appealing things for chastity personally was the aspect of being kept “ready” with this fantasy of her being able to just unlock me and then I’m ready for her. Reality, of course, is likely to be different than fantasy but in this I hope it was just a fluke.

Those two times aside, there’s been a lot of teasing, a lot a lot! The initial confession was prompted by a 2-3 hour session down the rabbit hole of porn and stories with no ability to orgasm despite trying while I was at my house. I had finally decided that I was done trying and was just going to work on accepting that intense arousal. The next morning, sake thing, she had then FaceTimed me, masturbated and teased me/watched me try to masturbate without success.

I haven’t really tried the masturbate since in earnest. I think it’s a combination of having kinda accepted the chastity, recognized the novelty has worn off and this isn’t quite as exciting as it initially was, and wanting this dynamic to work with my girlfriend. There was one time I was able to get off in the cage just by shaking/moving it just right earlier in the year when this was still new.

Suffice it to say, the chastity is now real. Work is sort of a relief because I’m not thinking about it. Otherwise it’s more or less ever present.

 

Well, it’s been a month since any update so I suppose it’s time. I’m back in chastity, through my own volition. I’ve been out of chastity for a few weeks and haven’t been eager to return to captivity due to my girlfriend really running with the whole thing and keeping me denied for much longer than I wanted and expected. Monday she wanted to have sex though and timing was just off between us.

She was busy with work when I was ready, and then when she was I found that the moment had passed. I had masturbated the prior day and felt like that ruined the opportunity, figured it was probably time to put the chastity back on.

The last session really forced through some emotional experiences I wasn’t ready for and when she finally did let me out it felt like coming up for air in the deep end of the pool after being held down for too long. I was eager to climb out, and not keen on stepping back onto the diving board.

This time I’m a little more prepared and feel ready to let my girlfriend have control again so after spending a few days with her at her home I put the cage on, folded laundry, and left the key on her nightstand before heading home.

 

I’m awake early and this predicament of chastity is on my mind. My girlfriend brings it up daily but it’s been apparent my focus on it has been disproportional. Not so much on my work days when I have something to focus on but more the rest of the time. The thoughts I’m having is this “session” I’ll start trying to internalize the desperation when it arrives and let my girlfriend move things forward.

I know my girlfriend likes it when I’m wearing the cage, and the times I’m not she wants to make sure I have the PA ring in. When we got piercings together mine was really only for chastity so my interpretation of her interest is she wants to make sure the cage will still fit/the piercing won’t close up any.

Anyway, I’m thinking about sharing with her some of the stories I’ve read from other members here cumming in their cage just from giving oral to their partner, how it’d be hot to be desperate enough that that’d send me over the edge. I realize it needs to be on my agenda to communicate about how the denial she had me in last time was a lot to handle, and how it had temporarily helped when she let me have a caged orgasm with her wand.

Thinking about her perspective, it seems it’s the attention and change in attitude she likes, as well as having control and maybe the peace of mind knowing I’m only thinking about her. Not that I’d ever cheat or be unfaithful, but she has dreams that she’ll wake up mad from of that very topic. She didn’t really appreciate the overeagerness to respond to any sexual attention she’d give so I’ll try to be prepared to tone that down when it happens. Also, I think she likes it when I need her.

It’s pretty obvious that when one thinks about where a sweet spot would be and how this incorporates into a relationship. I’ll think of what to say and how to phrase what I’ll share with her—maybe we can have a discussion about this power exchange soon.

 

My girlfriend let me out yesterday for sex, then afterward, started insisting I put the cage back on. She said it a few times in the afternoon, finally in the evening I was at the point where I told myself “if she asks again just do it.” That happened right before bed.

This time I brought the chastity to her (normally it’s just been the key after the cage is on.) She turned a lamp on to watch. After I got the base ring on and picked up the part that goes through the PA piercing, she asked “can I do that part?” She quickly said nevermind, asked me questions like does it hurt, does it ever get crusty, also a question about the anatomy of it while I slid it in. I put on the rest of the cage and locked it, gave her her key.

This was a step forward I’m thinking, with her really wanting me back in chastity right away, and then not being grossed out by it and taking more of an interest. I don’t know what the term is but I’d feel better if she was the one putting the chastity on me. Like, there’d be a level of acceptance from her and she’d be doing something she wants to do, also a level of submission where all I’d have to do is not resist and she’d control the initiative. Maybe one of these times I can respond with something like “if you want me wearing it so bad you can put it on,” or something like that.

Anyway, there’s no progress to report otherwise. I’m just enjoying being locked/where things are at the moment. I’m also excited, turned on by what’s happening. I just need to remember to temper my actions and be chill, go with the flow. It’s likely going to be that I’m going to need to march to her beat for this to work and that’ll mean just letting things happen.

 

Yes she keeps the key unless the cage is off, then it stays with the lock.

 

Yeah there’s that element of it pinching if she’s doing it to worry about. Just some more participation would be cool too. Like maybe putting the base ring on or giving the choice like “either you can do it or I can but it’s going on” sort of option.

I showed her how everything goes together early this year when I could finally fit the pin in place. We’ll see.

 

Nothing you’re saying is incorrect, but the picture I paint here isn’t a complete one about our relationship. As with many other relationships it hasn’t been without problems, both minor and major, and I haven’t always been happy with the way she’s handled things, and vice-versa I’m sure. I’m not going to share anything that would be disparaging but suffice it to say we’ve both put in a lot of work/effort to improve our relationship and the times we were at odds submission and kink/chastity really aren’t at the forefront when there are more important matters to deal with. There’ve also been an injury and illness than puts things on the back burner.

Much like with chastity, other aspects about our relationship have continue to progress and evolve. We love each other very much and our both committed to each other.

Regarding the ambivalence, I suppose that quality has presented in more aspects than just with chastity over the ups and downs.

As far as being told multiple times to put the chastity on, I suppose I’m just a little bratty. She’s the same way too. When she gets tied up she rarely makes it easy, and then is still quite persistent about what she wants after she’s made helpless.

All that being said, it is my intention to just let her lead with all this.

 

Well, my girlfriend let me out yesterday morning for sex then in the evening had me put the chastity cage back on. She says I’m nicer while wearing the cage and that I’ll be in chastity full time, essentially. I woke up thinking about that conversation and having trouble going back to sleep now.

We’re both getting more comfortable with chastity and it feels like now’s the point where she is 100% the driving force and all I have to do is just go with want she wants. I’m excited, without reservations now. It feels fulfilling having been my fantasy that’s has now become her kink.

There’s going to be more to this dynamic to explore, primarily focusing more on her pleasure and communication. I feel like this chapter of initiation is complete though.

 

Sleepless, or rather, awake and horny, or I was. I don’t know if I should attribute it to chastity or not. Sleeping through the night has never been my strong suit. I may as well get up and ready and head to work early so I can be done sooner.

I’ve noticed that I’ve frequently woken up around 3 or 4 and been horny, used to browse porn and masturbate. A nice thing about chastity is that fatigue that accompanies that habit is avoided. Still, the pattern seems to persist so I figure I’d write an update while it’s still too early to get up and moving.

I hesitate to say this as I don’t want my girlfriend to discover this journal and learn of it, but I purchased an engagement ring yesterday. It’s something we’ve talked about and she’s been expressing she wants to happen for some time now. I’ve got a date in mind, significant for a variety of reasons. It’s still far enough away to plan a trip or event around, I’ll think about it in the coming weeks. I’ve always thought a piece of jewelry isn’t going to change how I feel about her but I find myself more excited than I thought I would be.

Regarding chastity, it’s been comfortable and easily manageable. Arousal is handled by just internally acknowledging it’s there and nothing can be done about it. I prefer the chastity cage to the PA jewelry due to the hollow pin. Overall, I’ve made my peace being in chastity.

The benefits are tangible, and the sacrifice seems somewhat small in the grand scheme of things. As long as these periods of denial aren’t too extended I really am without complaint. I’m starting to feel like there’s not much more novelty to share. Perhaps this journal can be concluded once a sort of state of things becomes established, we’ll see.

 

I mean learn of the ring.

 

After a couple of months I’m back in chastity. It’s less frustrating than it had been, or rather I’m able to tolerate the denial much better.

Physical injury has prevented a lot of physical stuff I enjoy, now I’m back to those and weight training again. It’s a little disappointing about the progress I’m having to regain but the effort does help alleviate/distract from chastity related frustrations.

 

Not yet. I had planned proposing New Year’s Eve, the date would be 12/31/23 (123123), she’d have her nails done for Christmas, should be a time we’re both off, at least I’ve requested PTO. However, her work is moving over to a new IT system, live date keeps getting pushed back but now it’s supposed to be first week of January. So no plans made yet, will just have to play it by ear and see what happens.