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Ever-evolving...

Discussion in 'Cuckolding' started by Breathe, Mar 20, 2018.

  1. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Since incorporating chastity into our D/s dynamic, we've uncovered countless triggers of arousal. I would say fantasies of cuckholding have taken a surprising yet interesting grip on us both lately.

    While I'm not currently interested in bringing these actions into reality, the levels of arousal we both find are impossible to ignore.

    I'm not sure the right 'bull' exists, or if it'd even be a man if we incorporated a third... But the thought of controlling two cocks for My pleasure is an intense visual that's been striking Me lately.

    The 'darker' sides of cuckholding are of no interest to Me. I have no desire to hurt him emotionally or make him feel inadequate as a partner. Thoughts of another warm body coupled in our intimate embrace is something that floods Me with connection, rather than isolation.

    I firmly believe you can deny and love someone without inflicting negativity or self-doubt.

    We've enjoyed some play the past few days where we've incorporated this fantasy a bit more. Based off the smiles and discussions we've had this morning, I'm certain we'll continue to explore our desires together.

    Feeling and seeing new evidence of @_and_smile's submission to Me is deeply arousing and fulfilling. I'm looking forward to what's ahead. :)

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Fantastic Breathe, do the best to ascertain your love for your pet, take advantage of the arousal that you two feel about having another one on your bed.
     
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  3. LadyMoon
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    LadyMoon Active Member

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    I have always shied away from using the term "cuckolding" because, like you, the humiliation aspects and the racial aspects did not do anything for me.

    And yet... I am poly, so I do sleep with (and engage in BDSM play with) other people, which I talk to my partner about. In the same way he delights in giving me pleasure himself, he also enjoys knowing I've found pleasure with someone else.

    So, whether you pursue it for real or just keep it as a fantasy, just know... there are others out here who enjoy additional sex partners without it ever being about his inadequacy or humiliation.
     
  4. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    This resonates with me. I have over the the last 20 years had multiple sex partners sometimes at the same time. I am actually proud to label myself cuckoldress, it meets both mine and jack's needs. Yes we have had times of humiliation, but on mine and his terms. However, that does not mean humiliation has to be prominent. Today, I fuck in private and my relationship with my husband is separate. We do our thing together and I do my thing with my bf separately. It may occasionally cross over in our play narrative but parallel all the same. You both will know if it's right to transition from fantasy to reality. As long as mutual respect stays prominent, no reason why a beautiful life can't prevail. Enjoy:love:
     
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  5. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    She has mentioned certain things while we make love, I will say that it surprised me when it turned me on. She has told me she has no intentions of doing it for real.

    I have mixed feelings on the subject. While I find it oddly erotic thinking of her getting extreme pleasure, I don’t think she is capable of separating sex and love making, and if she did take a lover it comes with the possibility that feelings would blossom. I am not a jealous person and have no problems separating sex and love, but it would crush me if she developed feelings and I had to share her emotionally.

    I know this doesn’t sit well with the “she’s in control and should be able to do as she pleases” crowd, but I know my limitations. @Breathe version where both men are involved (my penis may not even be involved), and the whole activity is based on both of us giving her pleasure would probably be the only way she would be open to this, and more than likely the only way I would be able to keep it just about pleasure.

    The verbal stuff still cranks me up, and if she wanted she could really mess with my head. I wouldn’t know what was real and what was fantasy, what she intends and what won’t happen.
     
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  6. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Well-Known Member

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    We hesitate to give advice on this, it has to be such a personal decision. Our own relationship is wonderful, we cannot imagine living any other way. We don’t regard it as cuckolding because all 3 of us live and love as one unit.

    However, whether all live together or not, we feel that openness is key. Secrets can be insidious, and mistrust can poison a relationship.

    For what it’s worth, if we were in your position we would, after discussion, and provided nobody’s red line was being crossed, give it a go, but openly. If and how that developed further has to be personal choice, but unless everyone involved is committed we fear it may well be doomed to fail.

    We don’t want to sound gloomy, our triad is the most wonderful relationship, this isn’t a thread for detail but it works, and the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. If you get the chemistry right you will have a wonderful life.

    Love
    Jane & Janet
    XX
     
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  7. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    Such a realistic, tender & loving way to go about y'alls life.
    There is no substitute for Living the fantasy.


    You just hit on one of my long time fantasies ... my wife taking a female lover who co-dommed my orgasms (and doubled my servitude).

    And speaking of arousal ...
    Christmas day was my last O. - 13 weeks is the longest I have ever gone without.
    Its been an interesting experience - some days/weeks are easier than others.
    And, I am finding an unexpected shift in my attitude - to one where I am not sure I want to reset the clock (not that thats [entirely] up to me).
    Dammit @Breathe [and contributors] - this thread has affected more than my thoughts :eek:!
     
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  8. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    And if you ever venture forth in real, a whole new set of emotions come flooding in. And in the 11 years we have been cuckolding, that still happens. I still remember the first time, that one will stick in everyone's mind for a million different reasons.
     
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  9. Panda2010
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    Panda2010 There's a fine line between pleasure and pain

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    Hi @Breathe
    As @LadyMoon has alluded to, I suspect there is a probably a not-so-subtle difference between 'sharing' and cuckolding.

    Back before kids (and years before I had heard of chastity), my wife and I had some 3somes with another guy (and one 4some with another married couple). None of that had anything to do with cuckolding. It was just enjoying sex with someone else - and all participants were involved. (And yes, there was some male bi involvement on occasions as well).

    The way we got into sharing was a bit different to your situation. When my (now) wife and I were just starting to get to know each other she had a few 3somes with other married couples. My wife would tell me about her adventures and we would both get horny and somehow or another find our way back to her place (and you can guess the rest). So when we actually got together permanently, having fun with other people was something we were both comfortable with and wanted to explore. So there were never any issues between us - it was just having some fun. But as others have said on other forums/threads, introducing someone else into the relationship can create problems.

    I am thinking from what you posted above, you are probably more into sharing than cuckolding (but I don't want to second guess you). Whether it stays a hot fantasy or becomes a reality is up to you guys and time.
     
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  10. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    Cuckolding or Sharing isn't something that I ever thought that I would be comfortable with but since Miss Shelly has introduced it into our relationship I've become alright with it. If it gives her pleasure for me to service another man or be serviced by one than I'm OK with it. Also when she's been intimate with someone else and I haven't been apart of it, I'm Om with that also.

    The thought that our relationship will fall apart or she will leave me for someone else has never even been a concern. We're comfortable and content in who we are. This can and may be an exciting time for you @Breathe and no one can tell you if it's the right thing to do or not that's something your going to have to deside for yourself
     
  11. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    This is definitely the ultimate sacrifice a husband can make for his beloved wife/mistress, it is all about her pleasure.....but I am selfish, I don't know if I could make this step!
     
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  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Cuckold stuff was a hard limit, but some things have taken the edges off that limit and made them not something I look to do, but understanding that we may gravitate to at some point.

    My first eye opener was the first time I had used the rather large strapon on her. The look on her face, the sounds she was making, the complete abandonment of self consciousness...she was in utter sexual delight. Not something I’ve seen before. I almost felt bad that I could never do this without an attachment.

    The second and final wall crusher was when I had found out that medically I may have some physical changes, changes that could effect her attraction to me, and my ability to please her sexually. She was adamant that she loved me and we would figure it out. With that super unselfish act, I had decided to also be unselfish and told her that if she felt the desire to seek fulfillment with another, we would figure it out together.

    Currently, I still have the strapon that she loves, and medically speaking have not changed very much(chastity helps), so she has said she has no intentions at the moment. It did however open up some new fantasies for both of us once it was out in the open. Fantasies that both of us agreed when we started were hard limits. I think once the initial boundary of discussion is breached, it is easier and easier to let it go as far as you both want it to. Which can be pillow talk, or going through with it.
     
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  13. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    If and when the time is ever right, hopefully you will both be on the same page and know it. The thoughts of it evolving for my Queen and I are frequently at work for me, and I know the idea is clearly planted in the back of Her mind. I also don't feel as if this has to take on a humiliating or emotionally hurtful tone. While some may crave that, it clearly is not a necessary piece of the puzzle for all of us.
     
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  14. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    :) Thanks for all of your thoughtful responses, everyone. :love:

    Thanks, @LadyMoon. It's nice to hear affirmations like this; I am happy for you to have found a mutual understanding with your partner(s). When I first started reading into this subject, most of what I found was riddled with hateful tones and it never set right with Me. I quickly dismissed much of it, but have recently taken a new approach to understanding.

    As a sidenote, and I believe I've said this here before, but it's pretty fascinating to Me how intensely we hang onto initial negative emotional responses to certain terms, even if they end up being palatable later in another tongue. But that's another thread entirely. :)

    Agreed. Mutual respect is crucial for Me, no matter the side of the slash. I don't think I could ever invite disrespect into our dynamic... Doubtful I'd enjoy the results.

    Isn't it amazing how one can 'lovingly degrade' another?

    Herein lies the potential debacle. It's so easy to remove those thoughts when playing with the fantasy, but as soon as actual logistics come into play it's clear those are concerns that we share. I've had sex when emotion wasn't in play, but it's been a long time and I'm much more... let's call it 'responsible' now, heh. I have no interest to revisit that phase, so it will indeed require a lot of input from both of us.

    Couldn't agree more with this. Even though expanding our experiences would ultimately be up to Me, a decision like this would definitely involve thorough communication and honest expression. Without that, I'd say a situation like this could be doomed to failure.

    Always happy to stoke imaginations! ;) However, what you were hitting on in response to what I 'hit' on certainly brings up a different scenario entirely. Although I don't have specific desires to fully dominate a woman, I can safely say I would not want to share a dominant role with anyone else - man, woman, or anyone in between.

    I am entirely selfish, in that regard. :rolleyes:

    I can see your point here, no worries on the second-guessing. :) Some of what you said makes sense... and even though this may sound contradictory to what I've already posted, I wouldn't label what we're discussing as solely 'sharing'.

    To Me, sharing inherently promotes equality, but I would definitely be 'getting' more out of the potential exchange, physically-speaking. That's why I'm currently referring to... this (whatever it may be) as cuckholding. Swinging seems it'd be in a different category as well, and that's not something I'm really interested in. Before us, yes. With previous lovers, I didn't experience the same level of possessiveness... but to say I'm protective of @_and_smile would be an understatement. It's difficult for Me to imagine him with another woman in the same capacity.

    And I wouldn't want to share certain parts of him with anyone else, either. While he finds elements of this fantasy enjoyable, it's more of a mental stimulation. Coupled with serving Me physically. I was the first women he tasted... As far as I'm concerned, I'll be the last and only.

    Regardless, I dislike relying on firm definitions because sex isn't about ticking boxes, but it's obvious that another entity at play - in some shape, form, or fashion - certainly strikes a chord within us both. :)

    Comfortable and content both seem imperative for an arrangement like this to flourish. I believe we'll have many conversations and experiences in between before something like this advances very far. I agree that no one can make this decision for Me, and I'm firmly comfortable in doing so as we progress. :) It's exciting.

    I think he's experienced similar sensations when I've had him strapped in. I don't use the strap-on solely because it's bigger - he's a very nice size naturally which is why I've always enjoyed using him. As such, using the strap-on eliminates the only reason he has to stop fucking Me... as he can't feel Me like he can when I'm edging him purposefully. It was fulfilling, watching him smile after he filled Me over and over again without that need to stop. Seeing what it did for Me. I'm pretty sure that's when these desires started to surface... as he's not able to do that nonstop, himself, with his natural equipment.

    It's so interesting how quickly hard limits can shift when discussed...

    I'm sure that just as many people crave the hurtful elements as those who don't. Given our history, I'm glad those pieces aren't present in our puzzle too. It's a heady subject, regardless... one I look forward to learning much more about. Best of luck to you two on that journey, by the way. :)
     
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  15. Sissycaitlin77
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    Sissycaitlin77 Well-Known Member

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    fantastic post I love reading about it thanks for sharing. good luck to you guys.!!
     
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  16. alpha_by_day
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    alpha_by_day Member

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    I'm captivated by this whole string and chain of thoughts from everyone. I'm someone who's always had the fantasy but never reality so I find it fascinating to hear from those that are experience this in their relationship, those considering it and those keeping it a fantasy.
     
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  17. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    I have no experience or knowledge to share here, but from my point of view the feeling of power a woman must get from this scenario is wonderful and is to be commended. I would love to know how much the female was getting out of it, and that would give me great satisfaction.
     
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  18. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    Nothing at all selfish about that, @Breathe
    Its essential to know what you want (and don't want) in your life.

    I am certain my wife wouldn't be interested in that arrangement either.
    And for me, that fantasy was born more in the time of 'play' (before it was lifestyle).
     
  19. Mr M
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    Mr M Well-Known Member

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    We have played in both fantasy and soft exposures, high school boundaries. Transitioning from fantasy to real was shocking for me and thrilling for her. What I found was that I needed small steps with reinforcement from her that I was still the center. My emotions and reactions had to mature for us to even play a little bit... touching the boundaries, not crashing into them was also important for us as we tested the wasters with the metaphorical toe...
     
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  20. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    Good counsel @Mr M . this is a lifestyle that can bring so much to a loving couple, although that may sound a little odd. The trust dynamic is tested to it's fullest extent and if it survives, you really have met your true soulmate. Cherish him, he's very special. And yes, the sexual element is nothing but highly charged, assuming you find the right connection. Mutual respect should remain at the pinnacle and it really is ok to ensure the cuckold feels invested in the dynamic.
     
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  21. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    And when you see his response to your liaisons, you know he really does want this as much as you. A true soulmate.
     
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  22. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 Well-Known Member

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    I had to think about this for a while. There are so many feelings involved even in a fantasy . I don't think She would ever want something like this, but the way things have
    changed not sure it couldn't happen.

    I don't know if others feel that at certain point you realize that the way things used to be seem to fade away as a memory. The new reality becomes a different viewpoint
    that shapes current thougts. I do know that there is definite change in my thought process and Hers.

    I feel the need to please Her has become so far to the for front I don't think I could say no to what She feels would please Her. We have had one experience that you could say was not what I would have expected from a fantasy She had. She really couldn't believe that we went through with it and never really talked about it until recently.

    The evolution of the dynamics in our relationship has definitely changed in that She is totally sure that She owns me a that I will do whatever pleases Her. I know that She would never try to hurt me in any way. I also know that when I look into Her eyes She wants us to explore together.

    I started this with a gesture to show Her that She would always be the only one for me. She has now shown me that I WILL be the only one to serve Her in what ever way She sees fit. I really believe that I opened up a door to something that has made feel like we just met and started over again.

    I guess @Breathe I don't know how we change like that, and what is that has made you love this so much? How does locking someone up have all this mystery? I have asked Her what changed the way She felt about things?
    She said"I don't have to give you an answer to that, just do as I say and it will be wonderful for you." I don't question She is right and that is that.
     
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