Ejaculation / orgasm issues

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by JackStrap, Jul 1, 2020.

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  1. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    My KH wants to have PIV several times a week. I also have a lover, who also wants me inside her every time we meet.

    The ladies want me to cum inside them. If that fails, they like to finish me off by other means, which usually, but not always, succeeds.

    The problem is sometimes "getting there", reaching the point of no return. I want to make good and take some Viagra before I am needed, just in case. Erection is not an issue, especially with Viagra, but having an orgasm (or at least ejaculation) sometimes is a challenge.

    The topic is "male chastity" and that naturally implies no masturbation, so that should not be an issue.

    One could think that an everlasting stud with a rock hard erection would the optimum, but it's not that simple in real life :) The dames take pleasure in my ejaculation and get their rocks of off having filled with sperm ... And who am I to complain about their desires ...In real world there's work tomorrow morning and people would need to get to sleep before that.

    Similar experiences? Tips?

    I'm 50ish sliightly overweight basically healty male and have been locked up so several years already, so being caged 24/7 (minus the services for the ladies) is not a new thing

    I am afraid there is no silver bullet, but IF there is some technique or magic trick, I would really want to know it.
     
  2. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Why am I reminded of this joke...

    A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!"

    The doctor says "What's your problem?"

    The guy says "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'.. I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work.. Once I get to work I do some work and at morning tea time I go into the photocopy room and have it off with the one of the young office girls. At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good bonking.. For afternoon tea I give the boss's wife a good servicing.. I then go home and slip the maid a few inches.. Then at night I give the missus another screw......"


    "Well" said the doctor. "What's your problem?"

    The guy says "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."
     
  3. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Thanks, Tom, I burst out laughing at this. A good one.

    I sure get the joke and know that I don't have much to complain.

    I've been following your blog for quite some time and know that there are so many ways to pleasure ones partner(s) enjoying life to the fullest at the same time, and your example has been really inspiring, even though I seem to have a different path.

    My question however was earnest. (I read the joke again and laughed again)

    This is not a major issue. I can sleep even I don't come but still I would like to give what I can.
     
  4. smlocked
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    It is a tough place to be at when you can’t finish. Even masturbating can be hard to finish because of medication I take (Citalopram is the main culprit). I have just gotten to accepting that I might have a mental experience that is something, not sure how to explain it, and stop there. I make less mess this way. The only tip or trick is to be selfish and take you time, letting things build in other ways before starting with your dick.
     
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  5. Charles3451
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    Charles3451 Active member

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    I also take Citalopran.....
     
  6. Isopropylforyou
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    As a famous adventurer once said "It's not the years...it's the mileage".
    Time slows everyone down. Talk to your doctor and make sure everything is functioning as it should and then narrow it down from there.

    Getting in shape and staying healthy is a big factor in regards to performance. At least it is with me. A fighter does not go into the ring unless he has his mind, body and spirit in top condition.

    The only other advice I can think of is to give your body more time to produce. So you have something in the tank to share with your ladies.

    Iso.
     
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  7. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Things, in general, are working quite OK.

    I have had my gear checked from time to time and there's not much to worry: slightly enlarged prostata with minor calcification and I have medication to keep it in check.

    Regarding citalopram: Years and years ago I was on SRRI-medication (several brands) and that caused some issues when trying to have an orgasm. As I remember, I have had the same challenge for a long time, and I am, as far as I know, not using such medication now. Come to think of it, I have to check my current meds.

    Thanks for the tip.

    Yes, I know I am not a young stud anymore, but I would imagine I would be able to cum in PIV some 5 or so times a week. Manual labour (not my hands) or oral care (not talking about dentist) usually, but not always gets me over the edge.

    I did some google search some time ago and found out that there's not much info available on the subject (delayed or missing orgasm), at least compared to ED or premature orgasm.

    There was some text about watching too much porn (well, yeah, some) and masturbation (which I don't do). One could imagine that just watching porn and not masturbating would not affect ones ability to orgasm, but I'm not an expert on the subject.

    Still, I sort of envy the partner of Maya (as in Mayas Handjobs, just google it or search nudevista).
     
  8. JackStrap
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    Ha!

    I don't know this site, but https://www.issm.info/sexual-health...arged-prostate-bph-affect-sexual-performance/ gives hints that the meds might be at least part of the issue.

    Maybe visiting a doctor might not be a bad idea after all.

    This is also informative: https://www.sexhealthmatters.org/delayed-ejaculation/overview-delayed-ejaculation

    Thanks for the tip and support ;)
     
  9. Her Dividend
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    Her Dividend Junior Member

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    You sound like Bill Henrickson in BIG LOVE.
     
  10. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or a bad thing :)

    Be it as it may, but I'm one lucky bastard to have a keyholder/girl friend who slapped my butt and told me: "This is my butt but I can lend it to others"

    In my bookkeeping, It is an indication of trust, confidence and ... ownership. And I do not complain. Foremost, I want to keep her happy and satisfied and if there is time, I have TLC to share.
     
  11. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Love it!
     
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  12. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    It is a shame your ladies can't learn to get pleasure from you not having a release. There was a time when I too needed my partner to cum in order to feel complete. I would try talking about this. Since I have learned sex is about the journey not the destination I find I am much more sexually satisfied and less goal oriented. Pleasure lasts longer and is continuous instead of momentary.
    Best wishes
     
  13. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Thank you. Your post describes perfectly our tension. She feels most satisfied when I complete. I know I do better if I don’t, but follow her desire.

    Can you share how the conversation went when you talked about it?
     
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  14. madams-sissysub
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    this is your cause, I was on it years ago, before chastity started and I couldn’t orgasm at all on it!
     
  15. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Although I suggest the op talk about this with his partners this is not a conversation I had. This was simply a realization I came to after living a chastity journey with my lover @BR_Saiph.
    Women are conditioned to grow to be a good wife and give to their loving husbands. This equates to doing our best to be sure to please him sexually. The only way vanilla women know they have done things right is sexual play ending in release. It is through time, experience and much communication I have realized differently. I now have the strength and confidence to value my pleasure as well as his. We together are many times more sexual and more satisfied focusing on the entire experience rather than the end goal. Do some research on tantric sex where I believe the primary teaching is to focus on the togetherness and the spiritual journey rather than the orgasm itself. For me chastity is about a tantric philosophy, there is no end goal only a journey of pleasure. Best wishes
     
  16. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Good points here, thank you.

    What I originally wrote, is naturally not the whole story. There have been mornings when my girlfriend has given me a good BJ, but when approaching the climax, she has stopped and said "Nice ... Give my best regards to B" (referring to my lover) and smiled "innocently".

    I did deliver the greetings and the next morning, when I woke beside my lover, SHE DID THE SAME except with "Tell A (referring to my girlfriend) my thanks for the loan" ... and smiled "innocently". I did :)

    These ladies really do have sense of humor and do not take sex "only" as a means to be a "good woman" or something like that.

    But I do understand your point, I think. And it would not be a problem to discuss about leaving me "hanging" now to have a more energy ... and else ... a bit later ... or in the morning. And communication is the key to everything.

    We have not talked about this a lot, because I usually do get full done, but it might take a bit too long time or require some elbow grease. I have some thinking to do :)
     
  17. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    Of course these comments never cover the whole story. We listen to all and take those bits and pieces that are applicable that we can use in our own world. Best wishes with your journey it sounds like you have a good gig going. Enjoy
     
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  18. nrbill
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    nrbill Active member

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    Several years ago, back when I was still allowed to fuck, my doctor gave me some Cialis samples to try. They seemed to work really well except for one minor detail. Even though I could stay erect longer, I had a really hard time finishing. Cumming wasn't impossible, but it wasn't worth the effort because it took way too long. I'm turning 70 in 3 weeks, and I still don't use Cialis or Viagra. But, I no longer fuck, so it's hand jobs only.
     
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  19. LukeVallentine
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    I have similar experience, as I usually take long to ejaculate. A prostate massage does the trick. Just insert a vibrator in your rectum and give the remote to the lady. You'd have to experiment with the models, though. I find that an inflatable vibrator that allows you to regulate the pressure applied to your prostate works best.
    Good luck to you.
     
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  20. Kylara
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    Kylara Active member

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    Well I am like you, 50's and overweight a little.
    I was also very proud of my dick and its capacity younger but as age goes on there is no way it became harder.
    maybe with a decrease in weight and if you do sport enough to have a slim and muscular body else it's gone forever.

    On my side I agree with Mistress mrsbr_saiph, we began chastity by the refusal of my wife to cum in her.
    I did not cum inside her for 3 years now and this makes me last a lot, and now with lidocaïne lasting an hour is not a problem at all.
    Also she learned to have pleasure from the PIV and from other way (hands, magic wands) that makes me cumming totaly obsolete.

    Else when you do not have cummed (and it is also the purpose of chastity) you feel alway ready for sex, on the edge. You want sex and you have far more pleasure to do it.
    (In my experience of course).

    Try to persuadate her not to ejaculate on her to see if there is a difference for her and you?
     
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  21. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    Maybe a fat guy in his 50's should cut back from 5 or so times a week to maybe two times a week. Try chastity for 5 days a week, you may like it.
     
  22. Kylara
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    Kylara Active member

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    When you are young there is not much problem but normally you need 3 day to fill your balls completly, so 2 to 3 time a week is quite a good timing but once a day or more is deeply hard.
     
  23. Jack In A Cage
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    Jack In A Cage Member is caged

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    This is my problem too. In fact, this is why @Destiny103181 and I agreed to lock up. I always thought too much porn and masturbating was the issue, and it still might be. But I should probably talk to my doctor as well....Thanks for the post, nice to see I'm not alone
     
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  24. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    There was a year in my life when there was 7 days of chastity a week with one PIV release with an orgasm.

    But that one orgasm ... It was something to write home about.
     
  25. Kfergvegas
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    Kfergvegas New member

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    I thought so too but after my first 30 day lockup, it was actually more difficult to ejaculate and not less. My wife and I have decided that it is more about the conditioning than the frequency (or infrequency). When I am allowed to masturbate, it is only to clothed pictures of my wife. I am not prohibited from looking at porn while I am locked up but I only orgasm to my wife. It has certainly helped things.
     
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