Edging and ruining the orgasm - need help

Practice. Failures can be fun too.
Make sure not to get performance anxiety.
Own the result. Don’t put him in control.
Don’t worry.

It took years for my lovely wife to get to the skill level she’s at. And frankly, since we’ve been apart for much of the past months, she’s reconnecting and sensing me out.

Ok. So let me be a bit more helpful.
Patience. Wait. Wait and let it hang there.
Go slow. See if it rises up and falls over.
Stop and start. What’s his reaction when you let go and stop touching?

The edges can be wonderful and maddening. Don’t try to get to the edge too quick.

You’re lovely for caring and trying. And I appreciate that.

The finger on the frenulum, if left there, can still result in an orgasm. My wife pulls away to let me spill over. If she continues to touch the magic spot on my cock, it’s sometimes ... as you said... the most wonderful orgasm... so focused right on the spot that wants touched the most. Better than being stroked.

I think you’re on the right track.

It’s hard to give advice. I find my own body and libido variable, depending on how I’m feeling.

In the end the intense connection is what’s the most amazing thing about ruined orgasms.

I’d watch his face. Not his balls.
Feel for twitches or clenches. If I twitch or clench then it can easily get to become an orgasm. I try to relax and stay “open” when she teases me.

I hope this is helpful. It’s my intent anyway. I don’t have a good outside perspective, since I’m the one being edged and ruined. I often lose track of what’s happening. I sometimes will spill a drop and not notice.

 

Nothing to add to Peters lessons!

My love watches my face continuously and keep rather "tight contact" with my glance and shaft. Once she feels pulsing, immediately her touches are removed. Her perfect ruined one results in a drop "slowely flowing out".

 

I can make myself cum without orgasm easily . Is this a ruined orgasm then? I get no orgasm whatsoever just an ejaculation fully?
And my partner has no idea how I do it or how to do it for me

 

Listening is what works best for me. I get focused on what my hands are doing.... his moans and whimpers tell me when to stop. Holding his breath is another tell.

 

Start by working together, get him to give you feed back, at you play with him get him to tell you on a scale of 1-10 (10 being orgasm) how he is feeling. After a few times you will get used to feeling the tension on his penis and will be able to gauge where he is in relation to the scale.

 

I generate a lot of pre cum during my tease session and she can just tell thru experience when I am about to cum. The trick to a good ruined orgasm is to stop and wait and if nothing happens, continue edging and stop and wait. The best ruined orgasms happen when the wait is about 8 or 9 seconds and then cum dribbles out and you feel nothing, but stay very horny. Then it's easy to do your clean up duty.

 

Make him ask you to not let him cum, it’s what my Wife does, also, she just uses the thumb and forefinger to stimulate the head of my penis, very lightly, it’s almost unbearable

 

A *perfect* ruined orgasm is one where there’s no refractory period. You don’t go flaccid. You may have an emission. I find if I have even the slightest twitch, or clench down a little, I’ll have a small hint of an orgasm. It’s the muscle contractions.

If she keeps touching my magic spot, or even just holds my lower shaft, any attempt I make to push up against her finger can result in an imperfect ruin. The feeling of being gripped can trigger me to clench and bulge.

Sometimes an imperfect ruined orgasm causes me to spurt a little. Even a little bit of expulsion via ejaculation is a frustrating experience. You do feel the lack of a satisfying orgasm and the lack of a rock hard erection.

But even one orgasm in a given day doesn’t really satisfy me. So getting a “little one” doesn’t break the headspace.

A perfect ruined orgasm will just flow our. It pours out and spills over without force. I am not confident in my anatomy but I think the smooth muscle peristaltic motion carries semen through the ducts. hence how you can empty the prostate of semen without causing a climax.

Ms. Rika in her Uniquely Rika book describes the counting method that madams-sissysub recommends.

We started with communication. Now she knows me better than I. I would be at a level 10, in my mind, from an intense edging, where I was really at 9.999... she can keep me at a level I couldn’t do myself.

That sufficiently advanced knowledge of my body has become indistinguishable from magic.

It just takes practice and connection.
The stop and wait is key. Sometimes I will carryover after sensation and I will start to rise up and pour out without realizing it.

Occasionally she’ll have me watch my own cock. But normally I won’t even look.

 

My partner has given me ruined orgasms under my I structures n, but doesn't know how to do it without yet either.

I think a a few sessions under instruction would do wonders for knowing. Any reason for me to be let out hahah.

I love creating loads for KH to play with. Like fulfilling a command

 

Can you try typing that again? (my I structures n ... without yet either?)

My touching rule keeps both my hands on the keyboard

my own denial-drunk brain sometimes causes my fingers to fly too fast, and autocorrect comes up with interesting substitutions.

 

My partner has given me ruined orgasms under my Instructions, but doesn't know how to do it without any instruction from me yet.

I think a a few sessions under instruction would do wonders for my better half to m know how I tick. Any reason for me to be let out hahah.

I love creating loads for KH to play with. Like fulfilling a command


And yes type mentally quicker than I type and make typos HAHA sorry! @Peter Rabbit

 

No no. It’s all good! I was interested to understand what your were saying.

We went through a period of me “leading” and saying how close I was. I used to say “I’m close” a lot. She would play around with her reaction to that fact.

Now she doesn’t need my verbal. I’ll even say “I’m coming” sometimes and she’ll say “really?” And she’s right. I wasn’t even spilling over.

She truly knows me better than I do.
The journey down the rabbit hole is as fun as the destination.

 

That's where I wish to be with mine, need to her some learner sessions in I think. If I'm ever let out.
Unless the better halfs prefers me doing it ? I'll have to ask

 

The Queen gave me a very good ruined orgasm today: after a week of 24/7 lockup she took my cage off and used a vibrator intermittently up and down my cock. She would let me get about 3/4 of the way to cumming and then stop for about ten seconds. After about ten minutes of this I just came without even anticipating it. There was no eurphoria, and mentally I felt as if I hadn't cum... but I definitely did. The trick is to repeatedly let him get close then stop. It takes a while and practice.

 

This is why I almost never get ruined, only once this year, because she almost never lets me out.

 

Maybe you'll have to discuss a say she can benefit from it

 

No issue here my Lady has never permitted any orgasms ruined or otherwise since she first took control of the lock.

 

She thinks she benefits from keeping me locked, so that would be a very short conversation.

 

Hello Miss Stacy,

Peter Rabbit's first reply (Saturday at 10:02 PM) is precisely on target. Time and practice is the key.

It took me a least a year to start to understand what was transpiring during my sessions with PK. Let me say here that I have been edging and ruining his orgasms for just a little over two years. Since then it has been and is the only way he has had a seminal release. By no means do I claim to be an authority on the subject, but here are a few observations I have experienced.

First and foremost, the act is for your pleasure and enjoyment. Not his.

Make time for the session. Uninterrupted time that fits your schedule. I try to plan my activities so that he is unaware when they will happen. Spontaneous, spur of the moment. When he realizes what is about to happen the anticipation level increases immensely and quickly.

Practice, practice, practice. Slow. Each adventure will reveal a new tell tale sign of his impending orgasm. Observe his bodies reactions (toes, hands, buttocks and feel how his body tenses then relaxes), facial expressions and breathing patterns (including audible sounds). You are correct the testicles don't always give it away. I have found that almost every session takes on its own characteristics and find myself thinking "hmmm, that was different" Don't become disheartened if you go to far or a full release catches you by surprise. You will learn when to stop and start (repeat) and when to end it. Sometimes stopping to soon is better than going to long. As Peter said, own the result, but would add, enjoy it too.

I prefer to use my hands and lubricant for the stimulation. I find it much easier to judge the progress. Using a vibrator tends to "trip PK's trigger" much faster and with unexpected results. However having said that, I have been intrigued lately with watching his ruined orgasm while still in the cage. The only way I have been able to achieve this is with a vibrator. So I am currently in a learning curve with developing a technique that works for me. I haven't been very successful thus far. Admittedly I have acquired a pension for watching PK leak his pre-cum ( cock tears in his cage is a thrill) and the sight of dribbling sperm from a ruin orgasm is highly satisfying for me. As is the vary vary rare full on release that is intentional on my part. Just viewing the pure power, force and volume of the full male ejaculation is amazing.

So Miss Stacy, I'm not sure if any of this helps your situation, but remember it takes time and vigilance to develop the skill. Hope you find that combination that satisfies your desires.

 

I’m definitely sharing this quote with Ms later today. Ms and I are both learning much from this thread.

In our adventures with ruining the male orgasm, we’ve realized how varied its dimensions truly are. I think the male response to sexual stimulation occurs on a very simplistic, primitive level. But turning over my sexuality to her occurs on a very sophisticated level, involving things like commitment and willingness for surrender on my part, and understanding and willingness to control on hers. The primitive drive looks for ways around the imposition of thoughts because all it “knows” is it wants to send some seed flying out into the world.

So controlling it is a very SUBTLE process. I think the most important characteristic is patience, and the second most important is to be ever watchful for how the primitive male urge will try to change its approach towards getting what it wants. I often don’t even realize how devious my own nature is until it happens.

But, of course, that’s where penalties come in. Ms is very clever at attaching uncomfortable reminders to unauthorized releases. For example, most recently, I spent a few days (except during sleep time) with a tiny bell attached to the naughty boys by a ribbon (when we were at home, of course, and were alone together—when I am always exposed for her, if not fully nude). All that dinging (at the slightest movement) became almost a pounding in my ears because of its association with my failure of commitment. For her it was fun and enjoyable, although the last day or so she eventually got tired of it and asked me to leave it off.

In short, it is an ongoing learning process. I am just so grateful for her understanding of my need to be devoted in this way to her.

 

Oh my gosh, @Maddie Mae
You and my wife are exactly the same in this regard. She loves that I’m “drippy” for her. She thinks ruined orgasms is all of the fun and none of the downsides, for her. She loves the power and control. And yes, each time is different.

She’s learned not to worry about the result, or what I think or how I grade it. She’s doing what she wants.

And she does give me orgasms, but only when she wants. And yes, she enjoys the harnessing that energy... and keeping me off guard, always guessing, and always hopeful.

And ever grateful. ❤️

 

Do you use chastity cages on him? You may be able to get more honest responses from him if chastity penalties are on the line? You said he can cheat and not tell you soon enough. That's his fault. Give him consequences he does not like for not telling you in time. After the first time he tells you to stop because he is close, start going much slower. Any fast jerking bursts should be very short in duration. During a long, drawn out orgasm buildup, his body will probably be incapable of not showing how close he is. He'll be humping the air, trying to fuck your hand. Maybe make him go longer in between orgasms than he currently is.

 

I can only speak for myself on this.. Mrs. S. Only gives me ruined orgasms once or twice a month. Real orgasms she has said are out until maybe on my bday next summer.
Like You, She loves working me up and I MUST tell her when I’m close.. No cheating from me or punishment.
When it is ruined time, again she will work me up until I’m a mess, and I MUST ALWAYS tell Her I am so close. At that point she completely stops and the ruined orgasm begins.. Me moaning, groaning almost trying to hump air as it builds, then fades and just streams out.
At times I will have that one ogasmic twitch in the penis and barely shoot it out and then the rest just spills. Leaving me still very submissive and needy for Her.
If he’s cheating and tries to go too far, tell him if he doesn’t tell you how close he truly is, he will receive a hard punishment.

 

Great to learn a lot about the "ruining topic". Normally my love stops when my first cum starts dripping out. What I have learned now is that she should do it again and again and maybe again. So, not stop after the first drip but build in some time and then starts again. Interesting to share this with my love...