Does Chastity Permanently Make Your Wife More Dominant?

Umm, although I generally agree with the premise that controlling a man's cock would make the wife more dominant, this sounds like something else. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk and let her know these feelings. See if something else is at play. As always free advice is worth the price you pay.

 

I agree, male chastity gives a lot of power over to the wife. Some have the heart to use this power more, some less.
My wife became more and more dominant over the years, but it stopped and stays on a good level, in my opinion.

From what I read you are in on-off chastity? this makes it difficult. You should talk with her and make clear: this is only a temporary game.
But dont get angry if she lets you know she is not willing to play.

 

If you are not in chastity, and not playing the game, why should she act like a dominant? It makes no sense unless you have an agreed BDSM relationship. By the sound of it you don't, so I think you should have a talk.

 

I agree with the above comments - sounds like you two are on two different pages. Perhaps your wife takes 'domination' to be equivalent with 'criticising' or 'emasculating' and you don't. A talk away from the chastity roles is in order.

 

We all need reminders in life. Without a reminder, we all eventually falter. Chastity / wearing the key acts as that reminder.

 

Is she angry with you for some reason?

 

Well, that’s kind of the point isn’t it?

Chances are you were the one that introduced chastity to your wife. What were you expecting? It sounds like your worst fear came true, she embraced it.

It would benefit both of you to sit down and talk this through. Like any other relationship challenge, you need to understand the needs of the other person. Introducing chastity and domination to a relationship is a BIG change.

For it to work, you can benefit by having frequent sit-downs. Plan one every month. Have a little snack and a glass of wine. Make it special for her. Tell each other what worked well. Discuss what you might like to try. Try to avoid any criticisms. Just the fact that you are now communicating at this level, about a subject most couples never discuss, sets you on a path for a lot of fun and maybe a stronger relationship overall. Your issues are not unusual and I am sure a lot of people on this forum have probably faced and dealt with similar concerns.

Good luck to you both!

 

Maybe she's got the idea that she has to be a strict bossy femdom in order to have a chaste man. Sounds like porn and bs fantasy ideas have got to her IMO.

Everyone is learning, maybe she wants to be a femdom or have a FLR if she is going to start chastity properly with you, but maybe thinks she has to jump right in. Everyone has to find their feet and maybe she wants to ensure that she stays on top particularly if you're suggesting sex stuff where you're submissive.

Have a chat about it casually and see how she responds. Use your brain, remember she is a human and she has her own thoughts and feelings... Maybe she thinks you're asking too much of her with your suggestions so she's trying to take control back?

Use your words. You may find she isn't as vanilla and sub as she may have been up until this point, or maybe wants to be going forward.

 

The solution is easy: you need to be back in chastity.

She's a smart wife.

Here's the truth -- chastity improves your marriage. You admit it and she knows it. That really needs to be the end of the discussion. Once you get to 10 days you'll both be better, so what are you waiting for? Get the cage on, give her the key, and wait for the wonderful feelings to develop. She deserves it and you know you need it.

 

Ah, then the situation is pretty clear. Your wife wants to be dominant, and she is using chastity as a tool

You have an important decision to make, and I'm serious bout this. Will you be happier if you go along with her or not?

 

He already answered that question: "I don't like chastity until I transition into acceptance which takes at least 10 days then our relationship improves." He just needs to get over his silly male ego.

 

He still has to actively make the decision.

 

There's a difference between bitchiness and dominance. You need to take up for yourself to set limits and establish what works best for you. Dominants cannot operate without feedback, input, and sharing.

 

I think it does in some cases.

My wife and I get into arguments or fights sometime; I've consistently told her afterwards to not back down and that I'll directly tell her that I need a break from the FLR if I really need it. More recently we've had a handful of occasions where she's closed down an argument that I normally wouldn't budge on. She'll say something like "I thought I was in charge?" or "Do you need to go put on the heavy steel cage so you'll behave like a good boy?". She will also point down at the floor (get down in your knees bitch!) and will slap me in the face if she wants. It frustrates the hell out of me, especially when I know I'm right or really don't want to obey but it's what I asked for. Great examples of her being the boss. I don't think she would go back to her old self, even if we lost the cage and all. It's absolutely changed the way she deals with me permanently.

Be careful what you wish for!

 

@buildup Does she want you unlocked? My GF started me on chastity as well, and I really hate getting locked back up if Im free for a day or more but, like you, quuckly come to love it some days after being locked (number determined by her teasing, etc).

My GF also becomes quite agitated when I'm free. Neither of us can explain it but we are both better when I am locked...

 

Well' that is a horse of a different color. These little details make all the difference if you are asking questions or soliciting opinions.

Did you willingly agree to chastity? What caused her to introduce it into your marriage? Women introducing chastity is still somewhat rare so I am curious.

 

Interesting perspective you are sharing here. When you feel frustrated, try asking yourself “Do I need to be ‘right’ or do I enjoy building our relationship.” Try focusing on why you wanted an FLR and focus on that long term goal instead of the short term goal of proving yourself right.

Have you ever offered to get your wife an orgasm during her period? Why should she wait for an orgasm while she treats you to one? How does giving you an handjob benefit her? Perhaps focusing on her needs will lead to your needs being fufilled as well. There are ways to participate in giving an orgasm even for those adverse to “period sex”. (vibrator through panties or in the shower for example.)