Do our partners enjoy chastity?

Alternatively, the new category could drop the lifestyle part, and just say "enjoys and expects it as an ongoing aspect of the relationship"

 

The list is in the poll at the top of the thread. x

 

My wife introduced me to it, bought me a cb 3000 for christmas 2007, we’ve been having fun with that ever since and it’s still one of her favourites, she originally did buy it too keep me true to her after having a dreadful disapointment in a previous relationship.Back then I worked away from home a lot and actually loved the fact that she was making the statement "this is for me only" made me feel very safe and wanted too. I was locked in that for years whenever I was out of her sight but it was never about orgasm denial or being dominant, she literally wanted me in her safe. I will be honest, I was a bit of a knobhound before this. As the years have past she has relaxed a lot, I have never been denied an orgasm when I want one, neither has she, she still locks me when she goes to work in the morning or goes away on buisness for a day or two, she said many years back its not about you cheating anymore because I know you wont. I just like locking you up, i love how it looks, i love how you have to save it all for me, and i love how you love that.

 

Oh yeah, its the 1 bone of contention between us regarding chastity devices, i like fully enclosed as it gives me a fighting chance of forgetting about it, she likes open or transparent, she pervs on me all the time, im usually naked willingly at her request when shes around

 

Wrapping our fourth year of using the cage, and it got really real about 1.5-2 years into it. It took time for my Wife to be fully comfortable with denial and now she loves it. There have been a couple big changes in her, I don’t know what sparks them, but the latest is her only allowing me one erection per week over the last 30+ days, one piv session and the others teasing handjobs with one ending in a ruin.
She’s become totally comfortable with dominating me and we both love it

 

Chastity was a natural progression in our version of a flr as such my wife has always been fully onboard
Her control was always there but like most she has learned the art of frustration and denial is a massive tool in her favour
To be honest I'm not sure we couldn't live the lifestyle we live if both of us wasn't fully committed

 

Mine loves it. Took her afew of years to fully find her feet. Now we're doing things I couldn't even imagine.

 

My Queen is adjusting slowly to my chastity, and doing quite well. She is still quite concerned about the well being of HER penis, so we go gently into the unknown.

 

We've closed one year (as of late November) of chastity. She agreed to try it last November and we were all in for 9 months. Five and a half of those was a stretch with me having no orgasm. Then we took a break for a few months, then a few starts and stops. Now for the past 34 days back on again. And it feels like she's turned a corner from 'experimenting' to embracing. She likes the control, she likes the emotional place we both are in these days, and I think has fun with the teasing and play. She keeps the key in a lock box next to the bed and keeps a watchful eye on how I'm doing and what I'm doing.

We've become much more openly communicative about our needs and desires, striving and practicing to be more expressive tuned into our and each others bodies, and being way more playful.

I could write a book on what we've accomplished individually and as a couple over the past 4 or so years, but from a chastity front, it has played a solid role in our growth as a couple. With a ton of other personal work and learned woven in.

 

There are many things in our relationship that my wife enjoys since we started using chastity to control my sexuality. She would prefer that I remain in chastity without the physical device. But I think she knows that it's a necessity. So she puts up with the cage.

We have played so rarely both without the cage and without the intention of giving me an orgasm that she has limited understanding of the benefits of erection control. One of those few times was early this month. After 10 minutes she was so covered with my precum that she put a stop to things until I put a condom on. While I still leak while caged, it's much less noticeable to her because of the enclosure of my device. Later during that playtime, I had to pull away from her to avoid an orgasm. She was amazed with my self control, as was I, because that's not usually the case for me.

For her, chastity means she is able to enjoy sexual intimacy without inhibition. That has led to her (and me) enjoying sex more than ever. But I just don't think she fully understands the connection of that to chastity. The cage is often the only thing that prevents me from "blowing up" our intimate moments with an orgasm. We would have to remove the cage for an extended period of time for her to grasp that, but I would very likely slip back into masturbation behind her back and that would ruin everything.

 

My husband and I are very similar and just starting down this road. I am sure he would love to talk to you. He is on here and goes by Claud_bear.

 

Great thread. For us it has been an interesting journey. I started my chastity journey on the honor system. I told my wife this and brought up getting hardware again. She flat refused.
However, she sees and likes the benefits of me being chaste, sees I'm more compliant and obedient.
My desire to please her gets stronger the longer I go and she likes it.
When I do finally have an orgasm, I go through the same drop.
She likes to make me cum when we do have sex. However whenever she decides to have sex again, I'm going to request that I not be be allowed to cum.
I'm really trying to get her to understand that I like the burn, the desire to do anything for her the longer I'm chaste. I love how it makes me feel. Getting her there has been harder.

 

We're working on several things related to what you say here. For her, I am striving to attune to where she is, what she needs, and what feels good. To provide a safe container for her to explore. She is learning to not feel guilty for enjoying her pleasure, feeling worthy of it, and feeling safe to explore it.

For me, I have been working on not feeling shame for my desires and expression of my masculine sexuality.

Chastity is great because it provides somewhat of a throttle or governor for my sexual energy, which could easily dominate the scene (spontaneous arousal) and shut off her nervous system's ability to feel safe, allowing herself to feel into her pleasure. It also

But at the same time plays into my need for novelty, challenge (vasopressin I suppose), kinky side. I've learned that in the language of my erotic types, I am more balanced between energetic, sexual, sensual and kinky. I need a little of each, but am not dependent on any one. My wife is predominantly energetic (with a balanced amount of the others but at lower levels). What this translates into seems to be:

For me, chastity plays into my kinky, and allows expression and exploration of my energetic and sensual, while throttling back the sexual (which for me can take center stage due to spontaneous arousal that wants sex and immediate gratification to win). Since I'm good with a balance across the types, I don't need sexual in order to feel fulfilled.

For my wife, she needs both the time to warm up and the right kinds of sensation, communication, my energy and emotional state to feel right. She is very attuned to energy. To the point where I don't need to physically touch her for her to feel sensations. That can become overwhelming for her. But at the same time, energy flow is the pathway to open the other channels. Feeling safe, good conductivity of energy (e.g. feeling well grounded), and contained in my strong masculine energy and support really helps her relax and open up.

So, for us, chastity is a (relatively small yet fundamental) part of a much broader exploration and journey we are on. I think like you @littleguy3, there is a very rich tapestry of experiences, emotions and connection being woven here.

 

She likes the results. Doesn't really care about the mechanism to achieve them ...

 

Same here

 

Well now that it has been locked up for a long time she is really changed her mind things got a whole lot different interesting

 

ever since my ex got me into denial and wearing a chastity devive all my subsequent relationships have done. I was as they say between partners and had been trying self locking.. My friend of very long standing, we have few if any secrets from each othe... was interested in that and told me she might be interested in being my keyholder should I ask her.
I asked her. She became my keyholder.
She has kept me denied ever since.
I do know she does enjoy herself as she has told me so and quite often likes me to describe how being kept locked and denied it affects me. Her latest thng being I have to ask her at least once every 5 days to please keep me locked & denied (why 5 .. she says it presently amuses her for it to be 5)
But I think her prime motivation is that she enjoys the sense of control and ownership over me that being my KH gives her. Although she has said that she does like how much more submissive I have become in regards to herself.... although she has not as yet she does sometimes mention that she might like to develop that submission a lot further

 

Hot flash to your partner. ALL guys have twisted minds when it comes to sex. If they knew the shit that goes through our heads, none of us would ever get a first date, let alone married. A doctor I used to dive with told a story where he and his family were vacationing on a European beach somewhere . He was near the beach scoping out the topless rabbits when his 15 year old daughter came beside him and called him out. He calmly put his binoculars down , turned to her, and said "honey, there is something you need to know. There are only two kinds of men. Dogs, and dirty dogs. I hope you marry a dog". Then he returned to his binoculars. True story. I met her too, and she was very pretty, and doing an internship . I think she married a dog.

 

Mine too. She absolutely loves the power, and obviously the fact I end up doing more chores, arguing a lot less, and being more attentive to her. She has no intention of changing any of that.

 

a little background...
I'm about to re-engineer a couple of chastity cages. I have one with a very comfortable ring, and another with a very comfortable cage, so I initially cut the cages from each of their retaining rings, and used an expoy glue to weld the best components together.
Success... for about a month, but a couple of weeks ago the normal twists and turns of everyday life were too much for the adhesive and the parts separated again. I've researched soldering stainless steel and it's possible with the right solder, flux and heat. I have access to a jeweller's blowtorch which will produce a much higher pinpoint temperature than a soldering iron, so hopefully once the solder and flux on order arrive I'll be able to do a more robust repair.

Does she enjoy it?
Well, she keeps asking, more often than I ever thought she would, when I'll be able to get around to mending it!

 

My wife isn't "quite" that opposed. But for me it is a don't ask, don't tell situation. I am hoping that eventually she just says fine. Give me the key and I will make sure to unlock you for any doctor appointment where you may need to drop your pants.

Her biggest objection, is the idea of m being in an accident and the device being discovered in the hospital. She knows people at the local health systems...

 

It took us a while to get here (been doing this 6+ years now), but I think we're finally at the point of "wife loves it, fully embraced it".

I think I can say this now because a few weeks ago we had a conversation about it where she told me in no uncertain terms she wanted me locked all the time, and if she lets me out for a specific reason (e.g. cleaning, doctor, etc), I'm to put the cage right back on after the reason is concluded. Not the next morning, not stretching it a few days.

I asked her if she ever thought we'd hit a point where chastity cage wasn't a thing and she thought about it for a minute and said "no".

So ... fully embraced.