Well i guess there's a few different things to the dynamic to me, but the number one thing is that..... they care. If they're invested in it, they care about you, they care about the dynamic, they don't lock and forget and they're invested in not only the kink side of you, but personal growth.... then you've found the perfect keyholder already.
I wanted to try this lifestyle with a very vanilla wife. I have been fortunate enough to have a wife that cares enough about our love for each other more than what is popular. I am blessed. She has just begun to feel her power.
I honestly think my ex-wife would of been a great keyholder. She would of been strick, bold, punish me when I stepped out of line. But I didnt know about chastity back then. Well, not in the way I know about it now.
an all male review of kissing ass( maybe smart) or stating expectations which is normally the seeds of dissatisfaction not to mention if my puck had expectation i'd think he's trying to top from the bottom. good luck boys.
When things work for my wife and I she is a fantastic key holder. She is clear in what she wants and adamant about my providing it to her. She is absolutely unforgiving of anything she perceives as disrespectful. She enjoys demonstrating her power over me by doing things that I may appreciate, but are never the less degrading or unmanly. She takes the time each day to make sure I know my place in sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate ways. My sexual suffering amuses and arouses her and she becomes a more erotic individual that is unfettered in pursuit of her pleasure.
We all have our dreams. Bunny summed it up pretty well for me. In actuality, it is whomever he or she is. Not all partners will be the keyholder of your dreams. If they are at all supportive, help them grow by encouragement and positive reinforcement. It takes time. Everything you do, is better when you grow together.