Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by longtallsally, May 1, 2022.

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  1. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Chastity is a Lifestyle

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    #876 Jay Sub, Oct 10, 2022
    Half joking: Get a female chastity belt and put it on. Tell him either he can be released or you can get the key and unlock yourself. Not both. If he chooses to release you he can be let out in a week if he chooses himself two weeks. Either way in a week or two he gets the same choice again. I've probably not thought it through, and seen the pitfalls.
     
  2. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Chastity is a Lifestyle

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    #877 Jay Sub, Oct 10, 2022
    He might be trying to wind you up because he wants you to take him deeper. The challenge might be opposite. Sort yourself out and tell him you did so, and step up the dominance? I don't know.
     
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  3. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    #878 maid julie, Oct 10, 2022
    I do believe that at one time you said that you want him to take control sometimes but he will stay secured
     
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  4. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    #879 longtallsally, Oct 10, 2022
    I know, I know! That's why I'm not annoyed. But I hadn't imagned him taking control in quite this way and I'm a bit unsure how I feel about it. I mean, it's not horrid or anything (!) but just a bit confusing. :) Sal
     
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  5. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    #880 maid julie, Oct 11, 2022
    Adds to the excitement. You can let him know it was interesting and a surprise but in the future that any denial will be ask for by you. Or whatever you decide that you want
     
  6. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    #881 ChasteCel, Oct 11, 2022
    I did something similar with my wife once. She played along for a bit, but "got me back" twice as bad shortly thereafter. I think it was something like she was playing and teasing me a lot and even got to enter her for some sex ... and then she told me to stop and shoved me right back in the cage. It was the first time we started to have sex and not let it come to conclusion.

    What I'd say is that just remember - he's still caged and ultimately you're still in charge. Enjoy the change and sensations ... and give him back twice as bad as soon as you've gotten yours ;). I'm not necessarily saying "punishment" like a couple months ago ... but something that'll make him extra desperate!
     
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  7. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    #882 handsolo, Oct 11, 2022
    You call him Pete, but he's starting to sound like a SAM.
     
  8. SlaveBoy73
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    SlaveBoy73 Long term member

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    #883 SlaveBoy73, Oct 11, 2022
    Might I humbly suggest that turnabout is fair play.
     
  9. SlaveBoy73
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    SlaveBoy73 Long term member

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    #884 SlaveBoy73, Oct 11, 2022
    Or even better give him a spanking for his misbehavior…
     
  10. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    #885 Open2njoy, Oct 12, 2022
    @longtallsally I agree with you in that he didn’t do anything to merit punishment for his suggestion. He was simply winding you up. He’s just trying to exert a little control. However, the big difference is that he’s in chastity and you’re not and by his own admission he enjoys it. It’ll be interesting to see how you played it when he returned home.
     
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  11. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    #886 handsolo, Oct 12, 2022
    Conversely, trying to exert control when you have agreed to cede control invites corrective action. In fact, he may be starting to crave the control, and is consciously or unconsciously provoking more strictness. His simmering lust may also be brewing buried fantasies into active desires, and he now wants the rush and release of punishment to fill the void left by orgasms.

    Or you're right and he's just trying to find his role in this game.
     
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  12. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    #887 Headtrip, Oct 12, 2022
    Sal,

    Have you noticed how you both are progressing down the rabbit hole?! I find that the most fascinating part of reading your story. You are now starting to get a bit protective about your position/control - and you SHOULD BE!

    I tried in play to turn things around a few times, thinking this was all a game, boy was I wrong. First time I physically turned her around and threatened to take her while unlocked. Took a lot of crap here on CM for that post, but my Queen still laughs about the look on my face when she grabbed me by the privates and let me know in no uncertain terms who was REALLY in control. 2nd time was just like your Pete did. My Queen just said "OK" and proceeded to ignore me for over a week. No playing, no uncaging, nothing. For me that was/is the worst torture and I learned my lesson. I can play around (yes, it is a playful cry for discipline or attention), but I don't dare challenge her position.

    You are probably not fully "there" yet, but I think you are getting there and that is the confusion in your head. And Pete? Well he is all but begging for it IMHO.

    Just keep enjoying!
     
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  13. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    #888 Rectrix, Oct 13, 2022


    I see two things here. First, once again he has confirmed that he wants to be locked and likes giving up control and submitting to you.

    His act of leaving you hanging and telling you not to cum, however, was a hedge, a reservation of his old male power, an attempt to avoid accepting you as his full-time leader. It was wrong and you should not allow it. When you are next together, you keep him locked and you make him watch you pleasure yourself, and tell him that you are permitted to do so and that he is a masturbator who needs your control and shall not control you. I think he also deserves discipline. He will not achieve what he wants -- to be secure, to give up the lead and the responsibility -- until he lets you lead. All the time.
     
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  14. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    #889 tecolote, Oct 13, 2022
    Why did you strike through the text? Seems a reasonable response to me.
     
  15. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #890 IB-Chaste, Oct 13, 2022
    I thought it was heavily redacted for legal reasons
     
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  16. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    #891 Rectrix, Oct 13, 2022
    Sorry, just screwed up the formatting.
     
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  17. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    #892 longtallsally, Oct 14, 2022
    Thanks for the comments and suggestions! We texted quite a lot when he was away and both of us were pretty excited and frustrated. The night he got back I'd already had an early evening heart-to-heart with Laura. She had asked me whether I thought My Pete had been trying to goad me and having thought about it over the previous couple of days, and given the texts we'd been sending, I said yes. She suggested it would do no harm to assert myself and we came up with a couple of ideas, some of which were rather similar to the suggestions above!

    When he got back we talked about his parents, then the state of the world, having a good moan about politicians and then we relaxed and talked about friends. Eventually we climbed into the shower but unusually, I didn't unlock him. He asked why, but I didn't answer. He asked me if I'd been annoyed with him for teasing me the other night. I said that I hadn't been annoyed but of course there would be consequences. He asked me if I'd played with myself while he'd been away. I didn't answer that either, but just put my hand on his cage and asked if he'd been feeling very frustrated. He didn't need to say anything for me to know the answer - it's amazing what a few texts every day can do! As @Open2njoy says above, I pointed out that he's locked and I'm not, so I can do something about my frustration whenever I like, and he can't. He asked whether I might like him to do something about my frustration right there in the shower,and I said I didn't want to risk being denied again. He looked genuinely cocerned at that point.

    After we'd dried off, I asked him to 'be a good chap, pop your clothes off for me and fetch your Aneros thing, and lots of lube'. I sat on the loo (lid down!) and asked him to pop it in. I've discovered that for some reason he seems to be way more uncomfortable and squirmy if I ask him to insert it with me watching, than if I do it for him. I don't know why that is but Laura pointed out that it makes sense to make the most of it. So I made a point of making helpful comments such as advising he use plenty of lube, or when it was almost fully in, asking him to just 'take it out and pop it in again with a bit more lube'.

    Once it was in (he gave a little gasp as it went fully in - which was actually a wonderful moment for me), I asked him to just stand there with his hands on his cage. I asked how he felt and he said, "a bit humiliated, excited, nervous". I asked how the Aneros thing felt and he said that it made him feel full and even more excited. I know from before that by clenching and unclenching he can move it a bit in a way that feels nice, so I suggested he do that, at least while I played with myself. He offered to help but I quite firmly said no. He just stood there, obviously enjoying the sensation.

    I'm afraid it didn't take me long, and I wasn't in any mood to spin it out. He looked a bit disappointed when I asked him to take the Aneros out, saying that he had enjoyed the feeling, but immediately perked up when I asked him to come closer so I could unlock him. I know I've said this before but I still wish the lock would give a nice click. After I took the lock out I held the cage together for a while (Laura's advice to 'show him who's boss') and I asked him to repeat after me,who's in control of when he gets hard, when he can come etc. When I finally took off the cage he got hard almost instantly, which I always find exciting and flattering. I stroked him a little and he looked like a happy, expectant puppy. I said things like, 'I can see you really need to come', 'look how excited you are', etc", building his expectation, until finally I said, "But I don't think it would be a good idea. Let's just get the cage back on". He looked SO disappointed that I almost gave in, but I know now that he also craves this feeling and I think part of that is the knowledge that it gives me a rush of excitement.

    He did say there was no way we could get the cage on now, as if I would suddenly relent and say @oh, I hadn't thought of that, we'd better let you come then'! But of course instead, I just said there was no rush. I got dressed and then sat silently and watched while he just stood there, gradually going soft, knowing this was one of his 'buttons'. When it was nearly completely soft, I asked him if he'd enjoyed the Aneros and reminded him that his bottom was sensitive enough to have made him come once at least. He started going hard again! We had to use the shower attachment with cold water to get him back in his cage.

    As soon as he was in, we had a long kiss and we went and lay on the bed. I told him that I'd talked to Laura and thought about what I'd like and what I thought he would like and that I wanted him to do something for me. He looked worried but agreed to do anything. I said that I'd like him to "cook a nice hearty stew this weekend". He looked confused, until he realised I was joking. Then I said, "And, I want to peg you". Immediate frightened rabbit! He asked if this was punishment. I said that I hadn't minded him teasing me but reminded him again that there are consequences.

    I said I didn't want to be bothered researching all the equipment and bits and pieces, nor did I want to have to research exactly how to do it. I said that he could work out whether the harness that he'd used on me with the strap-on, would fit me, and what other er, contraptions to use. I said he could choose the size but to err on the side of shorter because I don't want to hurt him. And I said I wanted him to research anything I needed to know and to be ready to explain it all to me when I ask. I said that this coming Sunday would be convenient. Of course I'll do my own research as well - my main worry is indeed that I'll hurt him.

    We just lay there. I was trembling a little. And damn, he noticed, and pointed it out.
    I've been texting him today asking whether he's 'done the shopping' for the weekend.

    Sal
     
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  18. SlaveBoy73
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    SlaveBoy73 Long term member

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    #893 SlaveBoy73, Oct 14, 2022
    I think I would tell him it was amusing that he tried to take control from you and that because you didn’t explicitly forbid it, you will let him slide. But if he ever tries that again he will be bound and spanked In front of Laura.
     
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  19. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    #894 Chaz69, Oct 14, 2022
    He won't forget, Sal's the BOSS !!!
     
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  20. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    #895 longtallsally, Oct 14, 2022
    Very funny! I once read an interview with an actress, Judi Dench or Helen Mirren or someone, where she talked about sometimes coming off stage and being a gibbering wreck, but feeling utterly compelled to put herself through it again and again. She said it got easier and easier until one day, she got complacent and was a gibbering wreck again. I thinkt that's how I feel, and I can't share all that with MyPete because it would break the spell, which makes me less of the Boss than you might think. But it's still sweet of you to say. Perhaps it's just today I'm not feeling very Bossish - he's out tonight and I'm getting nervous about the weekend. Performance anxiety!! Sal.
     
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  21. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    #896 Chaz69, Oct 14, 2022
    Why do you think you're feeling this way? You've shown great strength so far. Do you have anything in particular planned for this weekend?
     
  22. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    #897 Open2njoy, Oct 14, 2022
    @longtallsally Incredibly well played! You did a great job of showing your Pete that it’s okay to be playful but there are consequences if he gets too close to the line. Having him insert and clench the Aneros while you played, was a perfect funishment (mixture of fun and punishment). And having him research and obtain a dildo for the strap on harness will keep his soon-to-be experienced pegging foremost in his mind until Sunday.
     
  23. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    #898 Jessica Alexander, Oct 15, 2022
    I’d suggest a nice long session of foreplay beforehand with lots of nipple play. After you finally get past penetration, instruct him to give him to do his best to get off by playing with his nipples if he wants to cum. If it sounds like he is getting close, command him to “cum now”!

    I can’t wait to hear how your weekend goes!
     
  24. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    #899 Chaz69, Oct 15, 2022
    Of course, I was forgetting that you have all that pegging planned for the weekend, good luck!
     
  25. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    #900 Open2njoy, Oct 15, 2022
    @longtallsally Some additional thoughts... He should make sure he’s cleaned himself out prior to pegging. A butt plug will help him relax before the main event. Use lots of lube. And once everything is ready you should sweetly remind him how he wanted you to experience what he feels when caged. Which was a valid request. Now you want him to feel what it’s like to be on the receiving end of a hot sex session. After all, turnabout is only fair, right?
     
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