I know I don't post much, but our lives are kind od boring and vanilla. I don't have a lot of sex and even less orgasms. And obviously things are not going to change. Little background first... When I met my girlfriend 10+ years ago it was like finding a soulmate. We were young and we shared so many kinks. Those were wonderful years full of sex and bdsm games. We also discovered male chastity, but it was just a game back then. Few days to a week on and then in a drawer for months... But in 2016 things started to change. To evolve. We got our first child in 2014 and second one in 2016. And pregnancy came with a price as she lost a lot of sex drive at that time. Not just during pregnancy, also later we had less and less sex. And when we played with chastity, locked periods got longer. In 2016 I was first locked for 4 months with lots of releases and orgasms, but later in a year for another 4 months without a single release. In 2017 I was locked on and off for various periods. We had 2 kids and not much free time. At the end of that year my MM jailbird was even in a drawer for 4 months. A that time she also discovered ruined orgasms. I was not locked, but didn't get to cum often. But when I did it was usually a ruined orgasm. I was locked again in october and only released on 1th january 2018. In 2018 there was one rule. I wear my device 24/7 and I'm released only when she decides. This was not often. Once, maybe twice a month. Sometimes we had sex and she locked me again without me cumming. I believe I had about 10 orgasms this year.
And here we are now... Last saturday when kids were napping after lunch, she seated me behind the table and gave me a piece of paper. She finished law school and this looked like some contract. And it was. Chastity contract. We both saw them online, but I never imagined I would have to sign one. There were actualy things written that we already were practicing. But this was now in black and white. It said that chastity is now permanent. No end date. She will unlock me when she will feel like it, but I'll be locked back right after she is done with me. Exeptions are medical problems or doctor's visits. I'm not allowed to ask when she will relese me next, or have orgasm and such... Of course I have to pleasure her when and how she wants. It is also written than she can tell anyone she wants about my situation. But somehow I don't believe she actualy would do that. The more I think all about this the more I see I will be locked for longer and longer periods. As we already don't have much sex and she getting pleasure in other ways I will ache down there more and more often. I realised that with my penis (now officialy hers) she can have sex. But she prefer other substitutes as truthfuly my penis is not that special. But with penis locked she actualy gets more pleasure from it. Not only our relationship improved, also she finds it so amusing when something turns me on and I struggle in that little cage. It also realy arouses her the fact how she took away my ability to have an actual erection. And releases...
Reading your posts, it sounds scary - but isn't this where most chastised males long to be? Permanent lock-up, focused on the needs of the dominant woman in your life Terrified and turned-on... all at the same time!
Couple of years ago I could not imagine being locked for more than a few months. It was a huge no. Now, the cage is part of me. Most of the time I don't even know it is there. But I agree with you. Thinking about the fact of being locked for months not knowing (and not allowed to ask) when next release will be can be scary. Locked for a year with no release was once a fantasy of mine, now couldn't be closer to reality. I'm telling myself not to think about it too much. Just go with the flow. If things came that far, and we are doing great, it must be right thing. SHE is in the first place, US is second. ME is just not that important anymore.
Congratulations on this big step. It takes a real man to admit that "my penis is not that special" and that "she actually gets more pleasure from it" when it is locked. You know that you have improved your marriage and given your wife more confidence and should be proud of that. I hope she will lead and train you to be the best husband you can be. Thanks for starting this journal.
No. This is something we never even discussed. I don't belive it is her thing. EDIT: I checked, it does say she can be pleasured whenever she wants in any way she wants...
Im in the same boat, but no contract. Have been locked up for a little over 8 months now and only 2 orgasms. She has had hundreds all without using my penis. She basically has no use for it and dosent want me using it for pleasure. She says that it belongs to her and she will use it when she feels like it. I originally locked myself up and confessed to my masturbation problem. Gave her the keys and thats that. She has basically taken it and ran. I didnt think she would love having all the control. I actually thought she would let me out in a day or two. That didnt happen and according to her it will never happen. I dont like it, but I don't have a choice anymore. I know you can say when its removed for cleaning you can refuse to let her lock it back on. Thats not possible because if I want it shaved and cleaned, I have to let her lock me down on our bed and she does the cleaning and shaving. Then she locks me back up and puts the keys in a biometric safe that only opens with her finger print. Then she will release me from the bed. So by me trying to make amends for my masturbation problem finds that that problem has gotten me locked up permanently. I do love my wife and she is happy. Im just hoping she will change her mind and let me out.
I don't see the problem here. You've solved your masturbation problem, she uses it when she feels like it, you love her, and she is happy. Where I come from we call that success.
I would suggest to you insisting that the terms of the contract need to be discussed before you can accept or refuse them from an informed position. Not being in an informed position before signing kind of if not actually can nullify a contract. Me.... I'd be happy yo sign that for my Lady.
Yeah but I went from 2 to 3 orasms a day to 2 in 8 months, its very difficult to adjust to that. I wasnt planning to be permanently locked up. She is the one who threw that monkey wrench in. I do love her and her happiness is more important. I just wish the cage wasnt the total solution.
There's that old expression that "chastity only really begins when you want to be let out." Keep reminding yourself that you've made amazing progress. Just a few weeks ago you wrote She's doing what you both need. What does she say when you ask her to be let out? Why does she like having you locked?
She forbid me masturbation first time we had sex. I think I only cheated two or three times. After I haven't masturbated for like 10 years, I was once joking and said that maybe I don't even know how. She smiled and said let's find out. And I was instructed to masturbate and cum 3 times a day for 10 days (I failed to cum few times). I got so used to orgasms it was even more frustrating to be locked after...
It is entirely beyond my imagination or ability to comprehend. Maybe after I've been locked that long....
She says ABSOLUTELY not, that she doesn't trust me not to masturbate again, and to just accept that this is the way it will be from now on. She seems to enjoy sex more now that Im locked up. I know she is getting a whole lot more than I am.
Yesterday she unlocked me. After my weekly spanking she removed my cage and told me to get a shower. Then she played, teased and denied me for maybe 30 minutes which felt like eternity. After that we had sex and she granted me an orgasm. It didn't take long though. Couple of minutes later I was back in my cage. My mind wandered and I realised how easy it is to be locked back. Years ago, when we played with chastity, soon after my orgasm I just hated puting cage back on. It was that typical male thing. After orgasm we just don't want to play anymore. Often I convinced her to delay my relocking for a day or so. Now, everything is so different. I have accepted to have her things locked safely all the time. I have no problem with her securing my cage back on literaly seconds after last drop of cum got out of me.
She ought to be a Member here. Is she? Also there is a long-established thread here on contracts, started about ten years ago and still going strong. All sorts of examples. I drafted one myself (#13) for it some nine years ago.You/she may like to post yours there. These aren't legally binding of course, but in situations like yours aren't really difficult to enforce in practice if that's what she wants.
You and your wife are a role model for other married couples. I praise you for your service, her for her knowledge of both of your needs and her authority, and hope I can achieve your level of submission.
No, she is not a member here. Not her thing. I have read all that contrats thread. A lot of nicely written examples, a lot of efford put into it. Ours is much simpler, just stating the facts we allready live by. Sure we know all about legallity of those kind of things, she is a lawyer after all. But it was interesting to see all the facts on paper. I was also surprised that she put those rules on paper as she likes to change them a lot. She makes up rules I have to live by all the time. Then she modifes them, makes them more strict or totaly cancels them... But on the other hand, what she wrote is prety much nothing new, and not much to change. Contrat states that my genitals belong to her (nothing new about that). It says chastity is now a permanent thing (this is new as I was hoping it will be removed in december). Further it is written I'm not allowes to ask when it will be removed next time, when is my next orgasm and such. I have to keep everything clean and depilate myself regularly. I get pleasure if/when she decides. She gets pleasure anytime, anyplace she wants and however she wants. Nothing new about those rules either. What is new and that surprised me is that she may tell about our lifestyle and my chastity to whoever she wishes. Knowing her I know it is not in her nature speaking about our private life to anybody. But I keep asking myself why she wrote it then. To sum it up, it didn't shock me when she gave this to me to sign anyway.
I don't think I can be a role model to anyone. Our mutal interest in bdsm games evolved into fun lifestyle. This doesn't mean we don't fight and have disagreements like all other couples. And we are not married anyways. But I try. I respect her and put her needs in front of mine. And not just sexual ones.
In which case I'm surprised that being a member is not her thing. Interesting that part about telling her friends. Maybe she'll have a few F friends will be wanting to see for themselves before long!