Does chastity necessitate FLR? Could a relationship have the typical shared or equal power/ authority while practicing chastity or is that not practical? How are arguments or disobedience on non sexual issues best dealt with? If KH says “do the dishes” and it’s not done, is that ok or does KH need to punish such things?
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/im-not-dominant-im-a-keyholder.29000/ End thread.
No Chastity and FLR are not a requirement. As long as consent without coercion is provided and start and end times are defined and re-communicated I could say game on. A great way for a female sub oriented woman to work chastity with a traditional alpha male would be that he needs to be perfectly dominate over the female before the key can be earned for release. A third party obviously works best, but all that needs to be defined is a true punishment to the submissive (i.e. an act(s) that is repulsive enough to the submissive they dare not cross). You can use your imagination for it. As for the "alpha" oriented male, I would say when released he is allowed to do whatever, whenever, whomever, or anything he desires (for a set time). For example, "faux-forced lesbianism to cuckqueening" could be a non beta male approach. Watersports and other extremely edgy ones. Knife/fire play ... you can draw the picture. Things that a person would say "hell no" to ... can be used in the negative to the very positive for the alpha. Hope that helps
When my Miss and I first started I wanted us to try chastity and FLR. My Miss wasn't so keen on the FLR part at first but 3.5 years into chastity it has mostly turned into an FLR, she has the final say on everything. Yes we have discussions like a responsible married couple and she listens to me as much as I listen to her but by default it's her decision unless she tells me to decide. No matter what you're trying to accomplish I do feel that sooner or later chastity does somewhat turn into FLR even if it wasn't the original plan and if you're serious enough about chastity. If she holds the key she could deny you whatever she wants. So suppose you're having an argument and and you can't come to an agreement, she may use your being in chastity as leverage. In my opinion that's FLR even if it's on a minimal scale, no matter what she has the final say because she controls your entire sex life.
During the first years of chastity experimentation we did not actively pursue a FLM dynamic. It seemed incongruous that @Domina-na-na would have the say over my penis but that control would simply stop there. So when we re-entered male chastity, I volunteered surrender to her giving her the final authority on everything. We drew up a FLM contract which was hugely symbolic and great to do. She has referenced it when her expectations are not met and metes out my punishment. It had become pretty simple though. If she says “Do xyz by abc deadline” I do it. She has mentioned she is interested in getting a bull whip. Noncompliance may get a whole lot more painful if she follows through on that.
Sex has always been an area of conflict in our marriage, but my wife would never use sex as a weapon or a way to manipulate me or extort me. I know a lot of people on here incorporate chastity sentences as punishments, but I don’t think that would ever work for us.
You're right on the result but not, IMHO, on the reason. For us, one of the keys points of chastity is to bring me to a greater level of intimacy, to allow me to put aside the alpha role I play in the outside world and really listen to her. When that happens her leadership blooms. So it's not that she leverages sex (though I know disobedient boys don't get unlocked) as much as it is the willing submissiveness the cage engenders that facilitates our wife-led marriage.
I wasn't trying to make it sound like sex or the cage was a weapon to be used against us lockees (all though it could be). I was meaning that regardless of your KH's disposition the cage makes you think twice before saying something you wished you hadn't. It's definitely an automatic behavior improvement device for most. That's why I think it doesn't matter if your partner is a dominant, I equate the cage as being similar to collaring and leasing a dog and taking them for a walk. We're in the same boat lol