I'm always trying to find a good place to find out more about how women see chastity. Most of the stuff out there is wank fodder written by men. But I am trying to get more female perspectives. I've recently discovered this blog. It's short, with only a few entries, but I think that it is a valuable resource for both men trying to get vanilla wives into chastity, and for the wives. For me (a guy trying to get his wife on board) it helped me discover something of value about how women see chastity and kink. In short, the things that would appeal to me as a Dom with a lover in chastity aren't necessarily seen as beneficial by vanilla women. So selling them on sexual control and having a sex slave on hand maybe sounds like more work than it's worth. They are vanilla because sex isn't that good for them, so offering them more..... Sorry guys, it's hard to sell them a fantasy when they already know (or think they know) just how inept we are at satisfying them. For women... Well, let me mansplain. From what I can tell, there's something in it for women. Even women who don't have a kinky side. I think that vanilla women might be swayed a little by some of the posts. Maybe it's wishful thinking. Just check it out. You may find something valuable in it. https://medium.com/@chastityperkins/the-reluctant-wife-743956e18d7f
Thank you for sharing this, I used her example of rules went over it with my Wife/KH and now I have our own set, she liked the strict aspect, and being locked it really does keep me in line. Now I just have to get up the blue balls to share the rest of her blogs she has great insight and I learned a lot myself about staying patient in my dream FLR Chastity journey.
I showed the first one to my wife and she unfortunately thought it was written by a man! She specifically said that all the things I’ve shown her to read start of as “what the heck is all this weird ah!t...?!” but then the woman ‘discovers’ she really actually likes it and develops a suppercharged sexual appetite. She asked what about all those who don’t and just put up with it? Ouch. The later ones do seem to have turned full circle from ‘the reluctant key holder’ to full-on dominatrix-FLR arrangement. I didn’t send links to these...
I don't suppose there would be any reason to blog about putting up with chastity. Maybe you can suggest that she should find write one herself. (j/k) That's actually not very encouraging. But at least she gave you feedback. All I get is crickets.
I totally agree with you tecolote ! The basic approach was key for my now KH/ wife ,originally 100% vanilla,to accept us trying out the chastity lifstyle. The basic rule of being caged but under no circumstance allowed to talk about anything related to chastity is brilliant! It grants the necessary time for the submissive to change his body chemistry and become attentive and focused on only servicing his Queen and for her to start believing in the incredible change that brings only benefits for her. Keeping the male horny is ,at least for us,another key factor and although the basic rule prevails,my KH/Wife has outsourced the teasing,milking,punishments,etc with a Masseuse and a ProDomme . Of course,everybody is different and unique!
@tecolote, thanks for the link. An interesting read. The basic premise is not a given, though. Does a man who wants to be in chastity want his partner? Really? Then I'm in, both feet. But in reality that may not be the case. I can only go on what I see/hear and when there is no indication that there is any 'wanting' it's hard to picture it being there. 'Wanting you to be happy' - I agree with that, but the man's idea of his woman being happy is not necessarily what she thinks her happiness looks like. And she might not know what it is, either. Or she does know but doesn't want to tell him for the fear of being misunderstood or waved off with 'I'm doing all I can already - what more do you want?' I would put a preamble to this blog by suggesting that the woman considers - really thinks about it - what it means to her to be happy. The kind that makes you see the world as a fun place to be, not just something to put up with. And then go and read this blog.
I'd recommend also Quite a few of Sarah Jamesons books might be suitble. cant vouch for the fiction though a very sane sensible nothing scary vanilla approach to the whole concept of TTTD and involving your partner
I would also recommend evolvingyourman.com Her getting started blogs really speak from a vanilla womans voice. @Abstraction you probably have done everything right, based on your other posts, but shd even had a blog talking about unresponsive men.. https://evolvingyourman.com/2019/04/17/the-dark-side-of-chastity/