Can you have a healthy relationship as her 24/7 Chastity Slave?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Joey G, May 28, 2021.

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  1. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #176 Joey G, Aug 11, 2021
    Okay everyone so I need some guidance here.

    So far everything is off to a great start. Were not together anymore, she's my Key Master and I'm her Cage Slave.

    She surprises me every day with the insults and humiliation and the just straight teasing pictures.

    She went out last night with her girlfriends talked a little crap to me but ended up doing her own thing. at one point in the night she actually reached out and wanted to come over and have sex but then she said "oh wait I left the key at my other house...hahaha"

    knowing her like I do when she drinks she gets horny and she actually wanted to come over for some sex but realized she left the key back at her new place.

    OK now this afternoon she's been messaging me basically humiliating me for having a small dick which she knows I like that humiliation and she was just telling me about all the guys that she saw yesterday when she went out that clearly have bigger dicks then me lol.

    OK SO HERE IS WHERE I NEED HONEST ADVICE:

    so we both know we're not together and she obviously enjoys keeping me caged up not allowing me to do anything like masturbate or go have sex or do anything because I'm in a cage controlled by her.

    she reached out to me about an hour ago because she's going to the dentist and she hates the dentist and she was actually reaching out to me for some emotional support like as if we're dating. sooo I gave her that boost that she needed what is that a roll I should fill as her cage slave?

    basically where do I draw the line from things I would do when we were together versus things I need to do because I'm her cage slave?

    obviously doing her laundry, cleaning her car, she said she still wants to have me give her massages but because we don't live together it could be several days almost a week before she comes over.

    keep in mind to I'm locked 24/7 by her and I'm out and about doing things as if I am single but I have a cage on my cock controlled by my ex lol.

    now don't get me wrong I'm loving all this but I'm just not sure how far I should go with this I'm obviously enjoying it a lot right now since it's so new but what if this is something she wanted to do for the next six months to a year or longer??????

    i'm just trying to say it's so new I'm going to continue enjoying it but at what point should I be worried if say she finally meets a guy eight months later or something and instead of me doing the same I've been busy being her cage slave. lol.

    she loves me as her cage slave I know this because she's a little bit lazy and likes me getting things done for her so for now should I just do whatever she wants and enjoy it?

    Let me get some thoughts on this I appreciate it!
     
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  2. Drews
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    #177 Drews, Aug 12, 2021
    Do it as long as it is fun and you are enjoying it. You had said you have a key hidd
    I would say stay with it as long as you are having a good time. If you start loosing interest or if you meet someone else give it up. If you are no longer together you do not need to give any explanations. She might do the same to if it is no longer fun for her. From all your posts, she seems to be a little co dependent. You will have to decide is the relationship of you being her caged slave or do you want to keep giving her emotional support. It sounds like you are really enjoying the current situation so enjoy it while it lasts. If you are looking for a future relationship you should focus on a woman that also shares a desire for you to be locked. I do not think this feeling is going to go away for you.
     
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    #178 bondinchas, Aug 12, 2021
    I'd say definitely yes, give her the emotional support she needs.
    For any relationship to work, both parties need some benefit.
    You're talking about what you're getting in terms of being her "cage slave", but if she's not getting any benefit, what's the point for her to bother with you? It takes two to tango, and if doing what she asks fits with your idea of being her slave, do it, whatever it she asks.
    She's enjoying it and so are you, but I do think you may be over analysing it.

    Will it last? That depends on whether you both continue to get enjoyment from it. I'm getting the feeling that while you might not be living together, neither of you want to live without each other.
     
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  4. Joey G
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    #179 Joey G, Aug 12, 2021
    you know that last part about us not being able to live together… It's interesting because we just recently broke up about a week ago and I know her well enough to know that she still has some emotional attachment to me but because I'm her cage Slave now and we're not together and honestly we both know that we won't work out being together Man did she take it to the next level,

    yesterday she was at the dentist and I gave her some emotional support then afterwards while she was on her way home she was messaging me and she was just insulting and humiliating me to the maximum.

    So I have this thing where I like the small penis humiliation fetish and way back she was hesitant about doing it because I was her man and she didn't wanna see me like that you know a guy with a smaller penis, but ever since we broke up you can just tell that she was really frustrated about it and it's really letting me rip about how she feels

    so the funny thing is I'm not small. I'm average length and a little thicker than normal but nothing crazy or to brag about. she is used to guys with large penises so she actually started telling me yesterday that my penis never satisfied her and the more and more she started to bash me the more I actually started to believe her so I straight up asked her in the mist of the conversation like hey are you being serious.

    she told me she was being dead serious and she continued going on and on about what she disliked about it and she just kept going and going and I asked her again I said are you role-playing or is this really how you felt and she's like no this is really how I felt I always thought you had a small penis because of what I am always used to! But that's why you're going to make a good cage slave because you have a small dick and you deserve to be caged up!

    LOL. So with that said I know at the end of the day I have an average penis and I'm good with that but I think it's a huge turn on knowing that she legitimately thinks that I have a small penis just because she's used to monster dicks lol.

    she went into so much detail and she had me write all over my stomach in permanent marker that I'm her sissy cage bitch and she had me take different pictures begging to be released while in my cage and then towards the end of the conversation she denied me and left me hanging for a couple hours till she responded and said I'm gonna have to wait another day hahaha brutal!

    so it's Thursday morning now and I'm starting an earlier workday and I can tell that she will keep me as her cage Slave for a long time I just know the one thing she doesn't like is when I annoy her or nag her which I've learned from the past makes her not want to do it.

    Anyways a bit of a rambling on this morning while I'm driving to work but any feedback is always appreciated and I will keep you guys posted.

    it's a bit of a mind fuck though that the three years we were together she really believe they had a small penis LOL it's a crazy insane turn on

    knowing that I am caged up in a little pink cage with her legitimately thinking that my penis is small and that's why she hasn't accused serving her.

    what do you guys think?
     
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  5. SlaveOfMrsChastityXO
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    #180 SlaveOfMrsChastityXO, Aug 12, 2021
    I'm a permanent chastity slave with my Mistress having possession of blackmail material making me her financial and full time domestic too. I have been her 24//7 slave for eight years now, all I can say is the longer such a dynamic exists the more and more the power shifts. Especially the more she comes to the terms with the sort of power she can potentially wield over you and if she is enjoying it now, she will likely end up wanting to excercise more and more of that power over her slave. If you are enjoying things, good luck and carry on. But this could all be just the beginning :D
     
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    #181 ChasteHubby2015, Aug 12, 2021
    It’s simple, stop thinking of her as your ex, you are friends now, so yes, you should be there for her emotionally and as her slave, yes, you should be doing all her chores, such as laundry, etc., and yes, you should even pleasure her orally if she desires. There’s nothing wrong with her also supervising your periodic releases, if any. If this is to work, you both need to take your new roles seriously. As for her love life, that’s no longer any of your concern, you’re free to date anyone you please, but when the moment comes, you’ll need to explain to the person you’re dating that you’re in a chastity arrangement with your friend and that there will need to be a “transfer of ownership” that BOTH ladies will need to agree to.
     
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    #182 Guest 8927, Aug 12, 2021
    I feel like the people who recommend doing this have zero clue about women. I use an analogy to not just jump out of the closet at random wearing a gimp costume. Stuff like this for her, devalues the experience. She didn't decide this, you did.

    You can't force ladies into by bulldozing them.
     
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    #183 Guest 8927, Aug 12, 2021
     
  9. b_quark
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    #184 b_quark, Aug 12, 2021
    I actually think this is a touch unfair.

    While I don't think I've recommended that approach in this particular thread, I know I've mentioned before that I did something similar and it went well. In our case I had discussed chastity with my wife on several occasions, and she didn't say no to it; she simply said she didn't understand why I would want that and it didn't seem like something she would want to do it at that time. I ended up buying a chastity device and then eventually wearing it without telling her. BUT I didn't hide it, and I also didn't flaunt it. And she didn't discover that I was wearing it by seeing it or the bulge or any other visual evidence. She did notice after a week or so that I behaved differently -- I was more focused on her, more attentive and loving, and wanting to do more for her, such as back rubs and foot massages, etc. And she asked what was going on. I told her that left to my own devices I masturbate A LOT, which draws my attention away from being more romantic with her, and that I had been wearing a chastity device to stop my urges. She asked to see it. Then she asked for the keys.

    However, you have to understand that we were already in some early stages of an FLR, though it was unstated. She was always in control sexually, and I was already expected to wear panties during "sex" and to bring her to orgasm with the strap-on before I might, only sometimes, be allowed to pull the panties to the side, put on one of my small condoms, and be inside her for the few seconds it would take me to cum. In other words, she had not, until then, seen the value in keeping me in chastity, because she already knew she controlled me sexually. When she learned that controlling/ending my masturbation habits served her she relished that new power.
     
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    #185 Guest 8927, Aug 12, 2021

    We can agree to disagree. The vast majority of these types of threads are situations where some of the enlightened guys here said "put on the cage, give her the key, she will understand" and I absolutely do not doubt that yes, like in your case, the ladies in their lives were receptive.

    However, devil's advocate, that number that it worked on is far outweighed by the times it didn't. It can be a conversation and and explanatory thing where the female comes to the same conclusion at her say so. Given that the chastized are typically submissive, it lends well to the process to allow the Dominant to make the connection.

    Now, good for you guys. I always say that you should write your own story. My comment is specifically aimed at the OP who's said her response was along the lines of "do what you gotta do", which is my tipoff that she is engaging it because she obviously loves him, but is having a hard time connecting to it, because just walking out with it on was not her choice. It was his. He is self locking at this point, with her privvy to it. There's an easier way.

    Talk to her. Find out what her ideas are, the pros and cons, bring her along at her pace, not your own.

    Regardless, good luck. I do get what you are saying.
     
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    #186 Joey G, Aug 14, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2021
    Today is FRIDAY 8/13/21.

    so far I am off to a really really FUN start...sorry in advance a lot to read, wanted to update you guys as much as possible.

    I wanted to please get some advice and ideas from you guys on how to keep this going LONG TERM. Several months, a year, whatever happens I don't want to scare her away or lose out on being her cage slave because I was being annoying or overly needy.

    Before you suggest anything, let me tell you how she is.

    HOW SHE IS:
    She is not a sit down and talk about likes and dislikes type of girl. It will turn her off and annoy her. The fact we are not together as a couple anymore, and not living together has actually helped with my problem of coming off as too needy or annoying. If I give her space such as not overly texting her, or not overly asking her to humiliate me, so far she will do it on her own. She is BIG with texting. She is young and hot in her mid 20's. She is extremely comfortable with texting me mean bossy texts, and sending nudes and teasing videos making fun of my penis size and being in a cage that she controls.

    OUR ROUTINE SO FAR:
    So far our routine has been she goes to work at night during graveyard shift. Through out the night I wake up and check my Instagram and she basically sends mean messages, humiliates me a bit, and reminds me who her cage slave is.

    In the morning she gets off work, I am arriving to work. She will usually send me a message making fun of me or send me very teasing nudes with captions insulting me or reminding me I am her cage slave.

    (I will always respond like wimpy sissy answers or intimidated super horny please stop teasing me replies which are usually pretty true how I feel LOL and she eats it up.)

    I get off work in the afternoon and we talk a bit back and forth and I ask if she needs anything etc. and then the routine repeats itself.

    MY THOUGHTS
    She actually texted me last night and we had a serious conversation where she said the entire relationship she hated my penis because it was too small and didn't satisfy her. Small balls, small loads etc etc. She was dead serious. Now for the record I am not really small. More on the average side BUT to her...she has always been with LARGE men so I am small compared to them.

    When I thought she was just saying that stuff to tell me what I wanted to hear it was a turn on. Finding out she is telling me what she HONESTLY really always felt, which is I always had a very little unsatisfactory dick in her eyes lol IT JUST MAKES THIS WHOLE CAGING ME UP THING TEN TIMES MORE OF A TURN ON!

    In my brain in went from role playing to she really means it. Its amazing LOL! It doesn't effect my ego or anything because I have been with plenty of women who never complained so I'm going along with it.

    KEEPING THINGS MOVING FORWARD??
    She has me caged up now going on day 5. We penciled in a day she was coming over for her cage slave to take her out to eat which is next Wednesday. That will be 10 days caged up LOL. I have been loving the feeling!

    Our afternoon conversation she asked me how big my cage was and demanded I get the smallest one they make. So my brand I LOVE "K3D" is making me a custom cage that is smaller then there mini version. They are super comfortable too. Tested out for 2 weeks by me. (best in the game) if you ask me.

    I sent her $50 through venmo randomly and told her to go have a nice meal on her cage slave.

    I can't really do her laundry and wash her car or massage her until she finds her way over to my house but in between all that I just don't want to repeat myself every single day and make her bored.

    So far she has shown CRAZY interest and is eating this up. She LOVES the power of having her ex caged up. She even makes me ask permission if I am going to go out and she so far has told me 2/3 times I wasn't allowed to go out because I have a small dick lol. (she really wouldn't know if I went out because she lives 45m away) but if I really have to go somewhere I just don't tell her.

    That's all I can think of at the moment.....please some feedback on keeping her wanting me as her cage slave or any advice or ideas from experience is GREATLY appreciated as always, thanks!

    ADD ON THOUGHT:
    For those that suggest being honest with her about the hidden key I have and talking about what she likes and doesn't like it will never work. It turns her completely off. She is more of a make it up as we go type of girl.
     
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    #187 Guest 8927, Aug 14, 2021
    I misunderstood some of the thread admittedly. I did not know this was not a live in, FLR situation. It's a long thread, what can I say?

    You are presently living out a version of the sissy dream scenario. As far into it as you are, and as intoxicated with it you seem to be, I likely would focus more on living within it and enjoying it for what it is. Less about extending it. She seems willing to play in, and in that, you are a walking sissy Tumblr page.

    If that's what you want, do it and do it well. I also don't see keeping a hidden or secret key as a big deal. I likely wouldn't give that over, particularly if your device is actually escapable. (a secret I would also tend to keep in this case)

    This may not last forever. Hell, it may end in a week if She tires of it.

    You seem to be happy and excited. Go live out your fantasies and be happy within that. Focus more on that, than getting Her to continue it. Let Her be the push you need, and have your fun.
     
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    #188 Fetish, Aug 14, 2021
    Question: Who really broke up? It was she or you? If you deeply analyse this it was more your decision (maybe you set unrealistic requirements so she was forced to break up) or it was hers?
    It looks for me like you are "the boss", you are forcing your ideas on her. You are acting as top / "alpha male" and deciding on how your relationship should be, and she loves you so she adapted to your rules. Isn't it that way?

    Spare key topic: I totally understand it's not the time (and never be) talking with her about it. For me this is some sort of cheating. And not only on her, but (mainly) on yourself too. My advice: Just throw these spare keys away. This will make your feelings more intense. And the fun of being "her cage slave" will be more real. You are restricting yourself right now. Try playing hard. Try to REALLY transfer your penis ownership to her. Or maybe you are afraid of loosing power?
     
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    #189 John, Aug 14, 2021
    She seems very playful and love the newly gained power trip she has gotten from keeping you locked that’s good so far.

    As regard of being annoying and needy maybe just suggest her to punish you if she ever finds you annoying a needy. Since you might become that due to how tuned on you are getting too aroused from being her CS. She seems to really enjoy being in control of you.

    Think those serious talks she finds boring she is in it for the fun and feeling wanted probably. All the things you do for her she feels wanted I guess. When you need to have the serious talk removes joy for her maybe more chore. She wants to be playful in control and tease you and wanting her even more. Suppose best way is suggesting things in playful ways.

    The spare key you need to get away somehow maybe give it to someone else that don’t know what it’s for or hide it in place no one would find it and you don’t have access to. If you get a new cage probably be upfront about the spare key since makes the games much more exciting not being in control. Which is a pretty hard one swallow lol
     
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    #190 Open2njoy, Aug 14, 2021
    @Joey G Make the spare key difficult to get but keep control of it. You both seem to enjoy your roles as they currently stand so don’t over analyze it. Go all in and use the situation to discover more about yourself, your desires, and your hard limits.
     
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    #191 ChasteHubby2015, Aug 14, 2021
    Have her track your location from your phone so that she knows where you are at all times. If she doesn’t give you permission to go out, that means no going out!
     
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    #192 ChasteHubby2015, Aug 14, 2021
    I agree about the spare key, I think it’s deceptive and she certainly wouldn’t approve. He needs to confess and surrender it to her. He’s telling her she’s in charge, yet he’s not willing to surrender control and trying to leave himself a secret way out. That isn’t ethical.
     
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    #193 Guest 8927, Aug 14, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2021
    It's also not truly safe to security of person. Yes, great, you are the very sissy you always wanted to be. Yes, you desire fully giving that away. But real life, that's just not safe or smart, in this case.

    I'm a chastized sissy by contract in my relationship. I give that control without emergency keys. But, I can have total trust in my person.

    This is an ex that's engaging him at the moment and yes, living it out. But in real life, giving that control to this particular person is just not safe. I'm sorry, I get, and live the fantasy. But I'm safe in it.

    There is a way to still do this, go and be her little sissy slave. Have her fuck men openly, regard you as inadequate, and be the sissy you want to be, while still having a safety net. It's a built in safe word to a situation that can cost jobs, put you into a bad position life wise. With your friends and family.

    The fact that if it gets beyond the level of control you can manage, you carry a safe word for yourself is healthy. I'm not saying not to live it.

    I'm saying please, take care of your real life human being in doing it.

    Have fun. The controlling ex is a huge part of the sissy culture. It's famous in our pictures, literature, porn.

    Girl, good for you. Dig in and enjoy it. But maintain an escape clause for yourself, and keep that hidden. These are hard fantasies to live with. Do this safely.

    No offense, but advice like this is true to the fantasy. It's not conducive to real life management of engaging the fantasy. It's assuming no limits.

    This particular situation requires set out boundaries, that if crossed, can end it.
     
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  19. Joey G
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    #194 Joey G, Aug 14, 2021
    @John always on the same page and thinking brother…

    so today randomly she's working a 16 hour shift she's exhausted I messaged her one thing and she responded with "not in the mood very tired " so I just said "Need anything from your cage slave let me know!" she goes "ok"

    Not every day I have to still remind myself that she's going to be into this fully. These are the testing periods where even though I'm locked up and horny and I want her teasing making fun of me etc. I have to force myself to shut up. Give her a day to herself.

    With the hidden key guys I totally get it because there was a time I gave her both keys and it was great really feeling helpless, but I have no idea if an emergency situation comes up and I'm not about to go reaching out to her to come to the house to let me out. lol.

    I'll ask you guys this with my current situation on a day that she's really tired and she just gets moody should I just leave her alone and let her reach out? All I did was just remind her that I'm available and if she needs anything to hit me up and I think I'm gonna leave it alone for the day.

    Thoughts?
     
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    #195 Drews, Aug 14, 2021
    Definitely leave it alone if she said not today. You let her know if she needs anything you are there. As you have said many times being needy was a turn off. Do not make the mistake again. If you want this to last full time you have to think how you would react if she was with another guy. Would you still want to be her cage slave? You liked her friends humiliating you. How would you feel if it was a guy she was sleeping with that was also humiliating you? If you want this to go on, this is a real possibility. You might be totally turned on which is great but think ahead of your future actions. You obviously love being a cage slave and humiliated. What is your limit?
     
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  21. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #196 Joey G, Aug 15, 2021
    Well said brother. so since you responded I thought basically what you just wrote and I just sent her $25 through Apple Pay and said "please enjoy a delicious coffee and snack when you wake up from resting."

    she responded within 30 minutes and put "now you have my attention baby dick!" LOL.

    we just went back-and-forth a little bit and then she just put in her Instagram profile "Owns a C.S " LOL how much of a crazy turn on knowing that everyone will see that in her profile and she could decide whether or not to tell them if they ask! WOW.

    how far am I willing to go? I definitely want this full-time long-term as of right now and I don't see her getting serious with anyone anytime soon trust me on this too many details to explain but I actually am turned on by her meeting a guy with a big dick and her telling me about it.

    I actually nicely requested that if she meet someone down the road that has a big dick that she's hooking up with to please tell me about it and she said that she definitely would and compare it to help pathetic my dick is. LOL

    SO FAR off to a great start. but I most definitely realized like you said I have to play a game of chess and feed off of her mood if she's in a bad mood I have to know not to push things or if she's in a great mood then that's a different story.

    I actually love the aspect of not living with her because that space allows me to not come off as needy and annoying.

    she still comes to me to with advice like her dog just got fleas and she messaged me about what to do and I just responded "well KeyMaster you have to do this and that etc. I hope I helped!" (stuff like that)

    Thoughts?
     
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  22. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #197 Joey G, Aug 15, 2021
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2021
    good morning everyone I wanted to get your guidance on this…

    I feel like every time I post more and more happens and I have to update you guys LOL!

    So we were chatting yesterday around 4 PM through 10 PM all through text and it got very very insulting and humiliating for me which I like… I mean she was really ripping into me and basically letting it be known that I am her little dick cage slave and even if she meets another guy with a bigger dick she wants me still has her slave.

    WHEN I SEE HER FINALLY

    so we finally made plans for next week we set Thursday in stone where she's going to come over and her cage Slave is going to take her for a pedicure and to go get food and have her car washed and then give her a full body massage…

    so what I have established over a week is basically I've noticed my persona has become like sissy bitch cage slave at least that's how she views me

    so when she finally comes over I'm not saying how do I act as in pretending to be somebody else but as far as my attitude and I'm not sure how to ask…

    I was thinking just be overly helpful and quick to jump up and do things and when we're out just be very upbeat and anything she needs jump at it to do for her.

    i'm getting this super tiny cage that's coming in that's the smallest I've ever been in and she told me that she wants me to beg her on my knees to be released and then she's going to make me stand there in my cage and she's going to just make fun of me and humiliate me and then maybe take the cage off and give me a couple of minutes of humiliation and then put the new cage on me

    basically this is insane… She's taking this very seriously and I know it's not even really a role-play so to speak anymore she really enjoys a sissy cage slave and loves me being her ex and loves making fun of my dick… Which for me is awesome!


    Any suggestions for when she finally comes over next Thursday? It's been about eight days since I've seen her or talk to her on the phone everything's been through text…

    SMALL ADD:

    so the past week since this has been going on I have painted the picture in her head that I am this week sissy cage bitch and that now that she has me caged up I feel powerless and just want to serve her… Now this is all good and easy to be like through text but in person I don't know if I should be like that or if I should be more reserved??
     
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    Drews Long term member

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    #198 Drews, Aug 15, 2021
    My suggestion for when you meet start out being reserved and helpfull unless she gives you any instructions beforehand. Remember she is making the decisions and you are her slave. Do not try to take control of your meeting or guide it in anyway. Follow her lead and try and be nothing more than the caged slave you want to be. Remember when she is not getting something from this relationship or you are trying to control she will loose interest. Follow her instructions when you get there and make her happy without worrying about your needs. Good luck with the new tiny cage. I do not think I could handle it.
     
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    #199 Joey G, Aug 15, 2021
    Great advice. Forget about what I want, don't guide it any direction. Let HER decide what she wants. Have her come over and be her slave and ask her what she would like to do first etc.

    Be reserved is absolutely spot on because when I sometimes become too much she shuts down for a bit. Don't want that!!

    @Drews Iv been liking your advice a lot. Let me get your opinion and if anyone else wants to offer please do.

    From your opinion. She is my ex. she has me as her cage slave. still sends me nudes, humiliates me and does things that she knows will drive me crazy. One question is...

    Why does she have me as her cage slave? Why do you think she is going along with this and enjoying making me suffer, controlling my cock etc?? I know the main benefits of me doing things that she doesn't want to do...

    Just curious what YOU see from all of this??
     
  25. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    #200 ChasteHubby2015, Aug 15, 2021
    The problem with what you’re describing and what’s actually happening here is that she didn’t agree to an emergency key, so it’s deceptive and insulting to her.
     
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