Can you have a healthy relationship as her 24/7 Chastity Slave?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Joey G, May 28, 2021.

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  1. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #1 Joey G, May 28, 2021
    Wanted to get some opinions here...I'm in a newer relationship (3 years) and engaged to be married. Were a younger open minded couple.

    I introduced chastity to my lady and she loved it. Enjoyed bossing me around, telling me what to do, even telling her girls and embarrassed me a bunch! (per my request)

    So I retracted a bit and she seems to really miss me being locked and doing everything for her. I want nothing more then to just fully submit and do everything and anything she says.

    I CRAVE for her to embarrass me like she has before in front of her girls. Such as telling me "Hey your caged up right!? Well then go refill my friend's drinks!" With all her girls listening. I love it!

    I want it full time. Without making my earlier mistakes and being needy and making it a choir for her. I feel like she would be all up for it BUT i need to reintroduce the idea selling it to her that I won't make earlier mistakes and become overly needy/begger status.

    How can I re sell the idea?
     
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  2. Open2njoy
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    #2 Open2njoy, May 28, 2021
    Simple, lock yourself in your most comfortable chastity device, give her both keys, and ask her forgiveness for being so needy. Then follow her lead.
     
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  3. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #3 LesterBallard, May 28, 2021
    I think you need to separate in your mind what is fantasy and what is reality.
     
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  4. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #4 Joey G, May 28, 2021
    I always appreciate your guidance. Here's the thing, knowing how she is I would need to "sell" or "pitch" her the benefits once again but convince her that there will be no begging or pleading for release this time.

    It's a bit sensitive since our recent argument so trying to bring it up the right way...
     
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  5. HusbandX
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    #5 HusbandX, May 29, 2021
    Are you committed only when she will commit, or are you prepared to do it regardless?

    Her level of commitment may be tied to yours.

    This is especially true of a female led relationship. It's got to be a full commitment on your part, regardless of her participation. If you're willing to serve her regardless of what she offers in return, then it means for her that her participation isn't dependent on what you get out of it.

    It becomes very much a matter of her knowing how much you care.
     
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  6. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #6 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    This time around I am prepared to be her full time slave even if she isn't in the mood somedays.

    For me this is new. This entire post I have shows how much she really enjoyed caging me up. The problem is I went at it 130mph instead of a smooth 60mph lol.

    She LOVED me doing whatever she said. She loved telling her girlfriends how she holds the power to my orgasms. I turned her off of it because I made it a chore and was too needy.

    I know right now, she would love for me to do everything around the house. If I told her "Hey I want you to be my Key Master again but this time I'm not going to beg for release and be all extra. I just want to make it pleasant for you and do everything for you...can I show you how I will make things easier for you?"

    I can't see her saying no. I just in return want to be bossed around, denied, and embarrassed once in a while but still maintain that healthy relationship.

    I don't know if I can have that all. She is shy when it comes to talking about things. She is more on action.

    Some say it sounds like fantasy but not when I literally just doing all this but I messed it up by being to much.

    It was so hot yesterday when she found out I was caged at the pool and yelled out "your caged up right!? well then make us more drinks!" and said it loud where her girls definitely all heard.

    I want to bring it up already to her!
     
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  7. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    #7 Isopropylforyou, May 29, 2021
    Simple,

    Everything you typed and talked about, tell it to her.

    Set a time, sit down and lay it all out. Have a discussion about it and go from there.

    Relationships vary in what they are and who fills what role, but they are still relationships.

    The Number One rule of any type of Relationship IS COMMUNICATION.

    Period.

    Good Luck.

    Iso.
     
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  8. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    #8 enslavedbyc, May 29, 2021

    Ask yourself how much you like to have someone "sell" or "pitch" the benefits of anything that you are skeptical of?

    Instead I suggest that you ask her what she likes about being in charge, and how she would like to structure the relationship so that it works best for her. If she's gracious enough to share that or repeat what she's already told you in the past. Then ask her how you can prove to her that you are up to doing it her way.
     
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  9. HusbandX
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    #9 HusbandX, May 29, 2021
    If you want to be Ricky Bobby, go fast. If you want to be a painter, pick up a brush. If you want to serve, then...serve.

    It sounds as though she enjoys taking the reigns, so long as it doesn't create more work, or so long as it's not jeopardizing her relationship with you.

    You're asking what she can do for you in return.

    Don't ask for anything in return. If you want to submit to her, make it an unconditional surrender.
     
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  10. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #10 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    Thank you to all of you. Such GREAT guidance.

    After reading everything you all made great valid points.

    I decided that today I've been texting her very friendly and sweet. I told her tomorrow I am going to clean the house while she relaxes because I want my Queen to feel less stressed. (she ate that up)

    Tonight when I get home I am going to lock up and stay locked. When she sees me in the morning cleaning and taking care of laundry I know she will eventually feel my cage.

    When she goes "Oh you have your cage on?" I'm going to respond "Yes of course my Queen and it's on until you say otherwise but please I want you to feel relaxed and let me take care of everything for you."

    Now she will remember cage + doing house work = she likes the caged up me benefits again.

    After a whole day of taking care of her I will just tell her "Babe if there is anything I can do for you please feel free to tell me and I'll take care of it. I want to take care of you."

    and go from there.

    I'm feeling pretty positive that if get the ball rolling this way and DON'T beg for release or teasing or anything but just PLEASING her that she will naturally start to boss me around a bit more and more.

    Then eventually want me caged 24/7.

    Good game plan?
     
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  11. Guest 2684
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    #11 Guest 2684, May 29, 2021
    I am sorry but you are trying to top from the bottom it seems like to me and that never works
     
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  12. Paulie4B
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    #12 Paulie4B, May 29, 2021
    I’d love to discuss I’m in similar situation.
     
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  13. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #13 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    What??
     
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  14. enslavedbyc
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    #14 enslavedbyc, May 29, 2021
    Instead of talking her about what she wants you seem to want to manipulate her into doing what you want her to do.
     
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  15. Open2njoy
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    #15 Open2njoy, May 29, 2021
    I understand that you enjoy the excitement of being in chastity and submissive to your fiancée. And I get that there are elements of keeping you caged that she seems, by your account, to enjoy as well. I also get that she may be shy discussing these topics with you. However, alt relationships only really work well if there is open and honest communication between the two of you. Neither of you will be happy in the long term if you can’t talk freely about it.

    You’ve tried several different devices for short periods of time. So you know the intensity of feelings you went through when denied an orgasm. Are you willing to do that for a month or more if she decided that’s what she wanted? Especially if she was getting orgasms any time she wanted while you remained horny beyond belief and without any relief?

    They say “be careful what you wish for because you just may get it” for a reason. Sooner or later you’ll regret that lack of communication. If she’s shy, I would encourage her to join this forum so she can begin to learn about the subject of male chastity and Female Led Relationships from like minded people. She can ask questions, learn what interests her, and learn what doesn’t interest her without you topping from the bottom. That may help her discuss HER interests and desires with you and help you both discover what you really want. Of course she will be able to see what you’ve written here as well and that is part of you being open and honest with her.

    Good luck because I think you are sincerely interested in this lifestyle.
     
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  16. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    #16 Maid Denise, May 29, 2021
    I would let her read your post and what others are saying to you. You got a taste of chastity and blew it . You want it back and miss it. So now you have to show her you are serious about chastity and taking care of her needs in life. Real chastity isn't about kink. It's about how we love and taking care of our KH'S .
    Good luck. Hope it works out for you . Oh welcome to our world .
     
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  17. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #17 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    so as of this morning this is where I'm at…

    I put the cage on and I haven't said anything. we were at the doctors just now for an appointment for my fiancé and she noticed a buldge and said you have a cage on?

    I simply said yes I've had it on… It motivates me to be more helpful for you. she just responded with "do what you Gotta do… "

    she hasn't been feeling good she's tired she hasn't eaten so should I just continue to wear it and go about my business cleaning and showing her what it's about when I'm wearing it?

    she does not seem like she's in the mood to talk about it right now
     
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  18. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    #18 Maid Denise, May 29, 2021
    Keep it up and give her time . Good job
     
  19. Joey G
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    #19 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    So leave the cage on and just go about SHOWING her (reminding her) the benefits of having me caged up?

    She is in a bad mood today so I feel actions will be stronger then words. At least for today.

    Would I eventually just hit her up about the topic?

    I wanted to say "Hey so I want to make things easier for you so I'm going to do the house work from now on. Anything else you tell me to do I'm going to do. Are you okay with that?" then see what she says and follow up with something like "Well I want to remain caged until you decide to release me. This time I am not going to beg and make it a chore for you. I just want to give you the power to control my dick."

    Leave it alone, continue showing her the benefits.

    Thoughts?

    Remember I had her loving this then I messed up by being too needy and wishy washy wanting to be caged/not caged. I want this for real now!
     
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  20. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    #20 Isopropylforyou, May 29, 2021
    Remember, talk is cheap.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Say nothing, do everything.

    Let her bring the issue up. Let her decide when to talk to you about it. Not you.

    and if you have not figured out what to make her for dinner tonight, now is the time to start planning that.

    Iso.
     
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  21. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    #21 Maid Denise, May 29, 2021
    One of the first things to do today since she is in a bad mood is to offer her a full back massage and don't push it any further . If she allows you. You will get horny . No doubt about that . Keep yourself under control . You are going to get the drips and enjoy that , but keep that too yourself . You going in the right direction , but you must keep it up. (Sorry no pun intended ) If I can ever help in any way just drop me a line.
     
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  22. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #22 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    Great guidance

    She is dead asleep until work tonight at 8pm. I am doing ALL the laundry right now and have dinner that she likes prepped to just simply cook fresh when she wakes up.

    I am going about my business ever since she found out I was in my cage and said "do what you gotta do." lol.

    So you advise against mentioning anything tonight? Such as "Hey just wanted to tell you I'd like to do all the house work from now on and anything else you tell me to do." Then follow it up with actions. Or stick to the original plan and stay silent but put in the work?

    Thanks guys
     
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    #23 Guest 2684, May 29, 2021
    You neeed to stay silent and let your actions do the talking she will come around in time
     
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  24. Maid Denise
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    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

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    #24 Maid Denise, May 29, 2021
    Keep quiet and keep up taking care of her is the best advice I can offer . It took me some time to get my GF then now my wife and KH to see all of the advantages of me being in chastity .
    All I can say is when we did get married I was wearing the cage and panties and I had OBAY in my set of voles . Don't loose faith brother . She will come around . Just work at it everyday all day .
     
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  25. Joey G
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    Joey G Long term member

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    #25 Joey G, May 29, 2021
    Last edited: May 29, 2021
    Thanks everyone for keeping me motivated!

    I'm disappointed that I didn't stick to it the first time around but tbh everything happens for a reason. I wouldn't of learned what works and doesn't work without going through round 1 making mistakes.

    I know she would be up for it again but seems standoffish because of how needy I became in round 1.

    I will continue being silent and just putting in the work.

    It just bugs me because I want to at least HEAR that she knows I am caged and that she lets me know when I'm free. I just don't want to blab my big mouth and blow my opportunity again.

    Meaning she accepts I am caged up and she will let me know when I will be released.
     
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