Can you have a healthy relationship as her 24/7 Chastity Slave?

Like most of what is making this work...
Don't wait for words, just do it for her without the words.

 

It almost seems as if shes testing your resolve towards serving her and chastity, I'd have taken the photo and the knowledge of her friends coming over as a pretty big hint that she expected you to serve.

I'd also adopt the position of being caged unless told otherwise. If she sees you waiting for her to command you into the cage, she may take it as a sign that you don't want it on, and by extension of that, aren't interested in a true chastity lifestyle (whether thats full on FLR or sub/domme arrangement etc), whereas if being caged is your default state it will be much easier for her to accept her position of authority.

 

I think you’ve been bitten by the chastity bug and will always have a deep-seated desire to be caged. There’s nothing wrong with “taking the lead” when you’re caged. It’s just up to her to unlock you if she wants you free. However, after you cum you should put the cage back on without being asked. It will help keep you in the chastity frame of mind and reinforce to her that she really does control when you get to orgasm.

Chastity is not an all or nothing lifestyle.

 

Just my opinion, but I think you need to try very hard to relax and take it much slower. You are busy and things are going great - excellent! Now is not the time to push for change.

Later, if/when things get dull, you might try relocking, telling her, putting the key somewhere she can take (or leave), and offer to relock/stay locked except for when she specifically asks you not to. But if she doesnt want to play dont push it. If she goes along, dont ask her to order you to lock back up, just do it. But, again, I am suggesting you wait weeks or months before bringing this back up in any way.

Again, just a non expert opinion.

 

I am happy with my progression. She has developed a real love of me being locked up from what was a passing interest when mentioned. I have learned its not something she wants to talk about. When I HAVE mentioned how long I have been caged she shrugs and says "so what". She was very aware of me potentially topping from the bottom and she felt this was all for me, not Her. This changed a long time ago.

She no longer washes or irons clothes. I wake at 5am every day and start with an hour's cleaning, ironing and washing up. A coffee is brought to her when she wants. In the evening, its tea cooked for her, then after washing and cleaning, I ensure when we go to be she is relaxed and ready. This means an extensive foot massage (typically an hour per night that involves legs as well)

I am not allowed to touch anywhere inappropriate and this is a fixed NO unless told I can. Her Doxy wand and rabbit are ready if needed. I have recently bought a massage table for full body massage. I am not allowed to ask for sex or release and I have been told I am selfish for having 9 orgasms this year. She is right and I am not allowed anymore. I turned a hand job down last week (this was my test) and I said I felt selfish so turned it down and relocked.

She has commented how obedient I am. She is very happy with this and states I am very rarely going to have an orgasm and erections are not allowed at all without permission. Which is impossible as I am 24/7/365 locked. I love it and she loves it. When my Jailbird arrives in a few days she has said I will be tormented in the cage. Inside her, tongue, fingers, wand and electric toothbrush. She has already had me humping a Fleshlight with numbing cream and 4 condoms for 51 seconds on my brithday. No "o" of course

Lastly, there is no discipline. We have canes, paddles and a spiked cage, the worst thing I can do is upset her. She is very bossy now but polite. Its the best thing we ever did.

 

Dude, I read, in horror, your first round fiasco. Your impatience is monumental and the inability you demonstrate for empathy is almost unbelievable. Im going to paste a portion of a text I sent my wife back when we were starting our journey;


I want to say something about the whole lock up thing.
I realize that I don't give you as much attention as you deserve. I don't prioritize your needs and wants enough. Being locked up gives me a constant, sometimes uncomfortable, reminder. It helps me to concentrate more on you and what makes you feel loved and wanted.
Also, guys are wired to desire the chase, the stalking of what is just out of our reach. Truth be told, that is probably why most guys cheat! When I am locked up, I almost constantly feel like I am chasing you.....trying to get your attention.....trying to get you to unlock me.....and hoping that you don't so that the intensity builds. I don't, however, want you to deny yourself any pleasure I can give you. I actually want you to revel in it, use your position on a whim, demonstrate your ability to use my body for your pleasure, whenever and wherever you get the urge. If you and I are sitting at the table and you think "I really want him to give me oral right now", then slide your chair back and spread your legs. Tell me that I have something else to do with my mouth right now! Believe me, my cage would get VERY restrictive immediately!
You said you want me to think of your body as mine. I can't do that. I have to think of it as something you bestow upon me. Even if you give me permission to use your body how I desire, it has to be for a limited amount of time. I tend to neglect the things I own. Part of my desire to do this is to help me not neglect you, to constantly remind me that you and your body are a gift to treasure and desire constantly.
I need you to be strict about me locking up too. If you want me out of the cage for a certain amount of time, tell me how long and make sure I am locked up when I am supposed to be. I know that you like the security of knowing that I don't even have the ability to cheat on you. I like it too! You have the power to control that. Use it.
I know that you feel like you are taking something away from me if you do this. Well, you are. But, nothing that you take away is anything I really want (with the exception of the orgasms, of course). The orgasms I miss will give me something I want even more; more consistent desire for you, more constant attention to you and more effort on my part to be with you. I think that is a wonderful trade off! The bonus for you is obvious.....
I know this is a long message, but I wanted to tell you this while I was thinking about it and had the time. I love you baby.


This was a message that set a standard. I have lived up to that standard since then.

My advice to you would be to exercise patience, make this about strengthening your relationship, and revel in all the little things. Believe me, the little things are the building blocks of indestructible Relationships.

The big things are few and far between. The little things are where life happens and love is built.

Love that lady with all you have! That includes your honesty, loyalty, patience, kindness, forgiveness and strength.

You are learning. Keep it up! Grow!

Remember this one thing..... a REAL man can emphatically say NO to the one person it is hardest to say no to....himself.

Good luck, my young friend!

 

Also, remember always that this is a relationship. That means , inherently, that more than one is involved.

When you submit your desires to the relationship, you will start knowing what real love is. Even if you never submit your desires to her individually, making the relationship more important than your desires will teach you a degrees worth on love. If you ever submit your desires to her individually, that will be your doctorate in loving her.

 

What would make you happy - truly happy?

 

Let her go.

If she wanted to be with you, she would have worked with you.

You have done more than what is required. More than what most have done.

It is time to move on.

Iso.

 

I concur, let her go. You might have a relapse when she tries to reel you back later. And she will try.
Ultimately, you should not think about what you stand to loose but what you have to gain.
As a side note, if you got game enough to find another partner, you may have game enough to introduce Femdom play and take it from there...been there done that multiple times. Chastity is a fun game that many women find HOT if presented properly.

 

Only you can decide where your hard no line is.

Being slave to her is one thing, but to then bring in her family and expect you to be their slave too?

If you are having doubts now, it will not end well

 

Don't chase. Not appealing and doesn't work. If anything, go back to the you that she 1st fell in love with (assuming you want her). Would she haved shoved so much crap down THAT guys throat?

Joey, I am no expert and dont know you, but from what I have read here I would guess you wanted chastity too much, too fast and at some level it came across as weakness to her. Instead of feeling attraction to you she is taking advantage - NOT in the way you want.

Whether it is with her, or someone else, you need to focus on the relationship first and foremost.

Sorry if that comes across too brutal.

 

Dude, you gotta stop! You are a wishy/washy mess!

The first thing that you have to do is figure out what you want, with her not being a factor in that equation. What do you want to accomplish? What type of life do you want? Do you want some type of FLR or D/s relationship to be the basis for you moving forward?

After you figure out what YOU want, then you can have some clarity on how SHE might fit in there (if at all).

I have seen way too many younger people stay in crappy relationships out of fear.....fear that they may never find what turns them on about the current situation again, fear that every relationship going forward will just be as toxic as the current one, so "why not keep the devil you know" attitude is developed. The fears are almost unlimited.

I have also too many younger people walk away from good relationships because of pride. They let things die defending the hill of "I'm not putting up with that"!

Until you know yourself, you will never be able to know what you truly want. Until you know what you truly want, you're not going to be able to have a relationship that is built on a firm foundation and, therefore, strong enough to support any addition you want to add to it.

I have all suspicion that your relationship was on some pretty rocky ground to begin with and you proposed as a way of "saving" it. Next you probably tried chastity as another bandage. Neither of those things will save a bad relationship. A relationship without a firm foundation is a fling.....

I wish you luck in finding yourself. Only then will you find your "other"!

Godspeed

 

Not wrong at all.

First, you should have a full penectomy, you'll still be horny but sex and masturbation will be totally off of the table.

Second, you should "Quit Claim", all of your assets to her.

Third, you should give her a promissory note equal to your estimated earnings until the age of retirement, and arrange for your entire paycheck to be electronically transferred to her bank account every month, to pay down the note.

That should cover it. You will then be the her slave and by extension the slave of her extended family for all practical purposes.

Then you can go to work and make their lives great!

You're welcome!

 

Dude...you are not helping.

Iso.

 

Dude ...I am helping. Sometimes it takes a REALLY EXTREME example to show someone:

Yes Joey, I believe your fantasy is hot (to you), but the reality is almost as crazy as my previous suggestion to you!

 

Lol, and I thought I was being brutal!

Joey, I hope for your sake that some of this resonates. You seem to be a good guy, but like most men your sexual fantasies are clouding your judgement big time.

 

Chastity and being a slave will work when it is a mutual agreement and both of you are getting what you want from that type of relationship. From what I have seen from all your messages is you have no idea of what you want and it varies from the start of your post to the end. From your posts I can also not tell if she is just taking advantage of you or if she cannot figure you out and lost interest.

 

You may have soiled it for her. You're letting your excitement dictate your approach and feelings about what you want. You have to be a lot slower with that. Sounds like you're topping from the bottom. Rather than even worrying about what you want. What does she want?

 

Sorry about the breakup has a lot of catching up to do with what happened lately. Been in a similar situation for some reason when the relationship is not on the line it's easier to try everything without risking the relationship. Hard to say what her motivations truly are.

 

Maybe she has been reading some more femdom literature like Elise Sutton similar. I mean maybe it's less a chastity kink for her and want to be more in control. Many would die for such an arrangement.

 

I have no idea what to make of it but I would think twice about giving the keys to someone I was breaking up with.