After some advice.... Myself and my willing slave have dabbled a little in chastity but now really want to give it a proper go but wondered if a contract really serves a purpose? Also, who takes responsibility for putting the cage on first? I'm not so great with it yet and it spoils the mood a little if I need assistance from him, I'd love to sneak it on him while he's sleeping but i think we are a bit of a way off that just yet!!!
For me the reason for a contract is if you think you need one. I don't but it may make sense to have things spelled out, or even make it more erotic if you can see your relative status on paper. As far as putting it on, don't worry about that yet. I find it just as humiliating and sexy, to lock myself up and give away my key as to have someone else put it on me. I'm sure you'll find what works for you.
There is value in writing a contract as it forces a conversation regarding wants, needs, and expectations. However, actually implementing and enforcing one is probably a bad idea for a number of different reasons. The main two are that it takes control out of both of your hands and that it can encourage negative behavior if there are clearly defined punishments in that if the man is feeling neglected he might act out to receive attention in whatever form he can get. Putting a chastity device on is not always easy, even for the guy. Unless you have something like ice on hand, the contact of your hands to his genitals and the eroticism of the situation is liable to make things even harder. (pun intended) I suspect in most situations the guy puts on the device but lets his partner close the lock if applicable.
I have just started this journey and therefore I am far away from establishing a contract, but I thing that the contract will be mostly a turn on for me (the submissive part) but I doubt that it will do any good for her. Most likely because I am thinking a lot about this topic (FLR / Chastity) and reading this forum brings lots of new ideas and therefore I might have certain things in mind which I would like on the contract but are not from her. Therefore I would rather use the "contract" as an initial starting point to show her, that I am ready to let go and she can rule. I would also establish a fix date each month or so to renegotiate (or better to give feedback), to help her and our relationship becoming more intensive and open. I saw the documentation "The Artist & The Pervert" recently and it had a nice view in it, when she (slave) said something like: I am the slave and the property* of my master, but as a slave it is my job to protect the property against any harm, even harm from the master. Therefore I need to communicate when I see a problem or harm or feel uncomfortable. * The property term is somewhat controversial for me, as I would never see a person as someone else property, but I think you get the idea. Another reason why I think that a contract will not work for me is that a relationship is not static and additionally, it would/could add a strange situation if parts of the contracts are not fulfilled, which would force reaction and this is something which doesn't belong into a FLR in my opinion. I want her to have free will. Piet
Contracts aren't necessary. For some they are useful for laying down ground rules. Many couples don't need that. It's up to you. I doubt you'll ever be able to sneak a cage on without him being aware. They're pretty fiddly. But good luck...
I think ultimately it’s a transfer of power to your KH and as such, it’s for your KH to exploit in anyway your KH decides. There are obviously hard limits but if you know each other, do they need to be written down...? If your KH wants to make a list of jobs for you to do, well, my wife has being doing that for years! Perhaps not with much success...
Personally I believe the best "contract" to have is a very short verbal contract. Something along the lines of "Do as your told or else!" Or maybe "Remember it's all about me now!" Contract or not, have fun!
Especially in the beginning contracts can be an option as they set ground rules as Lester already said. But don't carve your contract in stone and update it from time to time as you will figue out that some things might not work for you or that you would like to include others. Later on, when you are somewhat more experienced I think contracts way more restrictive than usefull... As for your device problem: It most certainly will be always easier to put on a cb yourself - especially if it is a good (snug) fit. But of course you can do it to - just have him lie down and make a learning session out of it how to do it best. You will have to abandon the Idea of doing it without him realizing it / waking up though. That is if you do not want to drug him before
Yes, we found our informal , detailed, FLR contract very useful , particularly at the start . It removed any grey areas we had, the contract specified rules, tasks and arrangements. After all this time, we still review the contract and update as necessary.
The rule around here is I put the device on and present myself for her to cinch my lock. We have an additional lock as well. We have a small hole drilled in the stem of the cuff ring that allows her to slip one of her plastic numbered security tags through it. She controls the tags, the numbers etc. There is no way to remove my cage without breaking that tag. I freely carry a spare key for the padlock just in case but that numbered security tag is the key. So. I'm doubled locked and feel so loved and protected. Contracts are OK to start to sort of lay things out. Remember, if your in a WLM or FLR you are the one in control and charge. Get him in his belt and go from there. You'll be surprised how happy he'll be to do anything you wish, especially after some time being locked up. I still find it amazing more women don't have their men in chastity. What a difference! Good luck
I like the idea of those short claims, but I still see a difference. "do as your told or else.." sounds to me to much like a dominatrix (personal opinion, might work great for others). My ideal contract would be that we agree on one major thing: exclusivity (on my side towards her) and that she decides what is good for the relationship and if I am not ok with that, FLR will be over! I want that it evolves into a real lifestyle not in something like role playing. Even without having any contract or even without that she sees herself beeing in a FLR I did lot of homework and felt great, because I know that she will enjoy it. On the same side I just discovered that it doesn't do anything feeling me less "male", doing my fitness/sports program afterwards I got the opposite feeling that I feel great and my relationship has also improved (just by me thinking that we live in a FLR and to behave like it). this sounds much better to me and is a great summary for a contract. Piet
I have not got any writ down thingys I just do what im told. I did have a list of chores when I started doing them but I dont need it now cos I know them all but if Mistress wants something done thats not usual She just tell me.
I don't think contracts are necessary, but they add a level of "kinkyness" and commitment between the KeyHolder and the caged... ^^ But in the end, I guess it's Your choice
You decide when the cage goes on just as you decide if and when it comes off. Try ..Having him put it on and then bring you the lock (or key) and then have to ask you to lock him in. That way he has always asked you and not just consented to being locked. Initially some agreement set out on paper might be a good idea. With the option to discus changes to the agreement whilst he is not in it.. but slowly extend the time between negotiation dates and at the same time slowly reduce whats up for negotiation. Until you have all the control you want. We are of the opinion that the simpler the better. Our 'rules' for want of a better word now are we both aknowledge that our relationship is exclusive.. with no negotiation or exception after that its her penis her cage and her rules.... this avoids and solves any confusion should it arise I can ask for time out for reasonable things cleaning, hair reduction etc. if and when needed But whilst out it does not need to be said I am not permitted erections and of course no ejaculating When I am next allowed to take the cage off I have given my word that I will always put it back on when told to and will then ask her permission for it to be locked and for any queries or potential disputes I just see the bit in red.
I mentioned a contract to my wife some years ago and she said there was no need as her word is the rule but I think she may entertain it more now. The other night she said she wanted less back chat and more devotion when we are out! My main worry is the financial side as I think she may take control of that! Of course we would save money but I like my drinks with my friends!
My madam and I have a contract, it is of corse nothing legal, but madam was impressed with the time and effort I had took to show her how much being hers meant to me.