I'm approaching my 1st year in chastity with my wife holding my keys, it's been a lot to get used to. I used to masturbate daily sometimes twice a day, and now I only get relief when she let's me. And it has become less as time has passed. We used to have sex 3 to 4 times a week but the last 4 months I've been lucky to be released once a week. I know for some of you that's a lot but from where I was it's definitely a struggle.
While I do enjoy giving her control over my manhood, I believe she only goes along with it to please me, my wife's an amazing woman however her sex drive is not as high as mine. I was hoping this would help her drive being in control and the possibility of having me service her without having to reciprocate back to me but that doesn't interest her. She doesn't like to deny me. I'm not sure what happened but like I said we used to make love 3 to 4 times a week before I initiated this I'm starting to think it actually turns her off.
Sounds like you need to re-assess your situation. If neither of you are getting what you want it seems a recipe for disaster. Does your wife know about your (previous) masturbation habit? Does she know you want to be locked to curb your addiction? My wife doesn't really care for the cage but now she knows I need it and has helped me. Admittedly, our sex life was zero to start with so I had nothing to lose. Perhaps if she doesn't like the cage itself your wife could put you on the honour system and actively check in with you on whether you have relapsed. Sex four times a week seems to be plenty so we are talking about abstaining from orgasm every other day. I would think that's achievable given you've been caged for a year. I know I'm probably the worst example of this but communication with your wife is vital. Once you can get a conversation about this going with your wife you should be able to work things out.
Yes she knows about the masterbation issue, I used to take care of myself so much that when I was with her I was desensitized and it took me forever to finish
I am let out when she wants to play. She keeps me locked to stop me from self satisfying. If I need out she let's me, but after showers and stuff I'm back in.
Without knowing her motives it’s hard to ascertain how your caged situation is held together. Honestly, in this situation I’d be asking her how she feels. If she’s a pleaser then she probably feels happy that she denies you… It does seem a little like it’s you that’s not happy with receiving what you asked for. Is she not giving you what you want? Or is it just not the situation you expected? Turning this notion on its head? Perhaps, this is driving her to become more in control. She could have seen that you are as happy, your relationship is as good and she is getting what she wants without giving you the obligatory sex 3-4 times a week? You feel that’s a problem, but maybe she is getting exactly what she wants, when she wants it? Maybe she is far more content in life, and in your general company when your evenings aren’t interrupted by your sexual needs. I don’t know. Does she seem unhappy?
As others have said, you really need to talk to her about it. You're not going to be able to improve this without first understanding your wife's true feelings. * Maybe once a week (or less) is all she ever wanted, and the additional times were out of a sense of obligation. Now that you've removed that obligation she's gravitating towards what works best for her. If that isn't enough for you, then you need to figure out a new arrangement and perhaps chastity isn't part of it. * Maybe something about chastity turns her off. Maybe she doesn't even realize it consciously. Perhaps that factor could be addressed, perhaps not. Knowing what you are dealing with is the first step. * For many women, enjoying an orgasm without reciprocating is an acquired taste. We've spent years being taught otherwise, and letting go of those old expectations and guilt is hard. It's something I fully embrace now, but it took me years to get here. I'm sure there are a dozen other possibilities. These were just the first few that occurred to me. However, in just about every case the solution has to start with an honest discussion about how each of you is feeling.
It has now been eleven months of continual lockup for me. There are times when I wish I could get out and get some relief, but that isn't what I agreed to. My KH feels like celebrating and is very much looking forward to our first permanent chastity anniversary in Locktober. After that we'll be counting years instead of months.
When you take a shower or are let out, is she demanding that you get back in or is it something you do on your own and give her the key? If so, I suspect she is reluctantly playing along and probably loses a bit of desire managing your key. Just a thought.
She absolutely does not like not to reciprocate with me, she said me cumming turns her on. But maybe she does only want it once a week and feels like she is doing what she wants now, my sex drive is through the roof, sadly hers is not. But I love her with all that I am.