Another weird thought I've been pondering lately...

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by Jeffroid, Nov 23, 2020.

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  1. Jeffroid
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    Jeffroid Member

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    The whole idea of chastity play or lifestyle is to give the other partner total control of your unit until or unless they're ready to play. And conversely the locked as it were is supposed to be ready to rock anytime since they can't do it themselves. So...when or if she/he does unlock you they're expecting you to perform. In a strange way that's kinda like the pressure some porn actors must face from time to time. Ideally you will be ready to roll whenever the green flag waves so to speak. I guess my point is that pressure to perform is a hidden perk of this since most of us are chomping at the bit to get some intimate time whenever it's right. Maybe pressure isn't the right term but you want to please your partner the best you can. Maybe my point is make sure you please your partner first whenever they give you the chance to be intimate. Then maybe they'll begin to understand and how much you've changed and this "kink" might not be so weird after all.
     
  2. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Better give her some good oral and make sure she gets off before you get inside her because you are likely to go off in 15 seconds if it’s been a while.
     
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  3. Chase See
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    As per usual, if you keep thinking about the pressure to perform then you’re likely not to. If you’re focused on giving her pleasure and in itself that gives you pleasure then it’s likely both of you would have a great time. Sometimes I think of sex after an unlock as not a reward for me, but a reward for her. And an incentive for her to lock me even longer or tease me harder cause I would give her more pleasure during an unlock. Not sure if it makes sense, my two cents!
     
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  4. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    not everbody is like that.
     
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  5. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica 24/7365 chastized sissy in an FLR.

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    Just throwing it out there that Chastity has been around since before the middle ages, and is certainly not a new nor a weird concept in most cultures. Not to criticize or anything, btw.

    Male chastity, obviously is the main difference, as it was reserved for women primarily. Being in it has helped me take focus off of my own constant sexual urges and given me a place where I am a better partner. And, in doing it, the heights of pleasure have just steadily increased in those moments, and my KH gets and likes that.
     
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  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    I guess the performance fear comes from the rarity of the experience. If PIV was a regular thing there would be no fear/concern/thought of it being unusual. When you only get the one shot at it now and again, it's bound to be make you apprehensive.

    Just do what you're told. It's usually the best way...

    good luck
     
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  7. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Active member

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    As am older guy I'm well acquainted with performance anxiety. One of the benefits for me of being caged is the reduction of that anxiety. When I'm caged, which is usually, we know I'm not going to get hard so I don't worry about it.

    I love to pleasure my wife whenever I can but she isn't that much into sex. She gets frisky just once in a while. (she thinks it's a lot more frequent than I do) When she is interested I'm more than happy to give her an orgasm with my hand or mouth. I've suggested getting a dildo and harness several times but she was definitely not interested in that.

    At this point I'm very happy being sexually frustrated if I can be sexy with her. Odd, isn't it?
     
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  8. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    There is a lot of evidence - as in women saying so - that a good proportion of women don't get that much out of PIV, except as a form of intimacy. So reduced staying power is likely to be a feature.
     
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  9. Jeffroid
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    Jeffroid Member

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    It may seem odd to some but not so odd to me. I'm in a similar dynamic as an older guy who's always horny and a wife who has her hands full being the family go-to with their problems and issues. She's obviously not anti-kink since she's re-embraced locking me up and we have a closet full of toys and things. She just doesn't have the mental time to use them or even give me much teasing attention and such. This time-at least for now- she's told me she's keeping me locked until such time that she wants it and she likes it this way. And yes It's not so bad having to keep that in the back of your mind knowing she might want it even when it was the last thing on your mind at the time. That's where the frustration and anxiety intersect at least for me.
     
  10. DoesasTold
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    DoesasTold Feeling Sexy if even only on the bottom half!

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    Lol, the entire time I was reading the OP this was in my head and I was chuckling a little bit about it. I was like “Should I post about it or not?” It appears there is no need to as you laid it out succinctly :)
     
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  11. Guest 2940
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    My wife and KH would disagree. Although toys can be very intense, and she receives oral treatments on demand and frequently, her favorite activity continues to be PIV.
     
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  12. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Yes, there's also a large minority of women who really, really like PIV.
     
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  13. Jeffroid
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    Jeffroid Member

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    Ironically this afternoon she decided she would let me give her some attention. Funny thing is I laughed when she orgasmed since we had watched a few porn vids the night before and I thought she was making fun of those movies and such. She wasn't! It's been way too long since she let loose and I couldn't believe she really orgasmed. Yeah I'm kinda dumb that way. Anyway she had fun and I did too and that's what it's all about. Cheers everyone!
     
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