We have another thread running and the op on that talked about "aftercare " I thought I had been around long enough to know about most things but never heard of "aftercare " after a session . What is it. Xx Wendy
I think in the context of the thread in question, it refers to the post scene emotions that need mopping up. Either through hugs, just being there with, talking about how people felt, etc. In my/our case it generally means either having a cuddle or being largely ignored and told to turn out the light as the mood takes her. I'm happy with either - generally
IMO aftercare is the way a Domme shows responsibility that comes with the power that a sub has surrendered. It's an opportunity to show that she isn't doing this for kicks and is simply abusing someone. It's to reassure the sub that all the torment he went through the session doesn't mean that she thinks he's unloved or uncared for. That she genuinely respects the sub and gives importance to the bond they share, and values what he's offered. IMO a Domme that doesn't do aftercare, and isn't interested in doing it consistently is lazy at best and uncaring at worst. To me that is pretty much the most important part of any BDSM relationship.
Aftercare is for Dominants/Tops as well: they also experience the highs/lows/ It's a way of unwinding after a session, especially one with intense emotions/hormones/neurochemicals. Otherwise it's quite possible for one or both parties to crash and burn into a funk due to the sudden shock of "play time" to "normal time", especially if something different/intense happened (as in the thread that referenced). It can involve having a drink, talking, applying creams/balms to wounds/marks, etc.
This is why it is so important to know one's sub. If you are going to push the lifestyle further, it's vital that each one knows their little whims and reactions. I can tell by just looking and words are unnecessary.
What a brilliant description of aftercare! @proximacentauri - Great insights! I could not agree more... Thanks @Wendygirl for asking the initial question, leading to this... CM can for sure be such a sensible place - let all goodhearted people join in efforts to preserve it like it.... Oh my god, so lightheaded I am this morning