121 days.

More so. A very long, interesting, intense evening has seen to that. More to follow…

 

The end…

Well, we lasted over two months without an erection, without intercourse, without our bodies pressing together in the most intimate of acts. 69 days in total, I can’t help but find that mildly amusing. I’m a child at heart…. But all good things come to an end, and the best laid plans often fall, replaced with something different entirely. Something better or something hashed together to avoid a crisis. My wife does this all the time; decides on one course of action but changes her mind in the moment or over time becomes disillusioned by her decision. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that we failed to meet our goal.

The biggest surprise will probably be that on this occasion, this was my decision! I’d felt low since we returned from our trip away. It was an amazing get away together… but it lacked something. We were restricted. That’s an obvious statement, but the cage had stopped us being close. It stopped us being intimate. It had taken something away from the experience rather than improving it. Sex can get in the way of enjoying other joys in life, but there’s the occasions that perfectly align for it to happen.

When we conversed over the situation I could sense her ‘resentment’. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but she definitely lacked enthusiasm or any sort of positivity towards it all. Through that, my enthusiasm and positivity began to wane too. I was already thinking it prior to this. Spending all my time with her, enjoying her form, showering together, kissing, holding hands, laughing, enjoying every interaction except any time we laid together… I wanted her, and why not? I introduced the cage for my own kink, a little boredom in our standard routine… it worked better than I ever imagined and changed our lives completely. It changed us. Yet, it was always a joint decision. Neither of us really decided on 4 months as something we wanted to achieve, it was just a self-imposed time period to alleviate the issues and allow more of the same in the future…

Yet, there we were, living our life and enjoying the best moments we can create and we’d restricted ourselves to a compromise for something more later down the line… well, when would that be? Why did we do that?

I started to wonder around the validity of her decision. I researched healing times and my thoughts began to process more clearly. 6 months from the piercing, if it hasn’t healed by now it never will. A PA would have healed in that time!

I wallowed a little. I could wait until the hormones kicked in and I really felt desperate for her, but I couldn’t shift my mindset. 5 days later and I still didn’t feel positive about the situation and so I just told her… well, I intended to, but I slept in and I feared a little of her response… so I texted her.

I said I felt it was time for a break or to move onto the next stage. I should be healed and I felt the cage was creating a barrier rather than bringing us closer.

‘Okie dokie’ was her response. I hadn’t aimed it at her, I wasn’t negative. This was about us. She understands that.. and as I realised later that evening, she really wanted my dick!

As she lay there: beautifully wonderful. Her smile. Fuck. That was enough to know I’d made the best decision.

I had prepared for this moment. I knew that when she released me I would cum in seconds, I knew it would be smaller for a short period. I didn’t mind that, she would realise I wasn’t fit for purpose and lock me permanently…

That’s not what happened at all. That’s not what I wanted. I’m sure it’s not what she wanted in the moment either. Gone was the routine massage, the pre-arousal to another act. In was the spread legs and wanting demeanour, the moist glistening vagina, the waiting had to guide me in… oh, and God did it feel incredible! Just the feel. I didn’t cum. Instead we played for hours. Blowjobs, rimming, ball-sucking. I watched with my head between her thighs as her vagina convulsed in orgasm. Fingered, licked, stroked. When it was my time, when we could sense this should all be wrapped up… she moaned as I ploughed into her. Probably less than a minute, but enough to know I can never be replaced by anything artificial.

And then I came…

Underwhelming

Why do we relish that so much that simple denial can drive us absolutely crazy?!


This definitely isn’t the end of our journey: as we bathed together… before all the sex, and we marvelled at how clean everything was… like honestly, my penis looked exactly how I had left it all those weeks ago and the piercing has completely healed to perfection, she said “you should definitely clean that out ready.”

(The cage. Not anything else I might clean out.) Yet, it’s a bad time to have chosen to abandon my chaste status, one night of pleasure and now everything is restricted until her monthly flow recedes…


Whatever happens. I’m just enjoying the freedom whilst feeling guilty whenever I have an erection without her present and forgetting I don’t need to sit down to pee.


It’s weird how the mind can change.

 

Like most men after a long period of denial, maybe this question came too early!

What she really enjoys is being in control of her own body, and more so how I get to interact with her. She has a high sex drive and we have a lot of intimate moments… yet, to me it feels like it’s got lower and isn’t enough. That’s probably not the case, when we do our thing under her control she enjoys it so much more. I mean, multiple orgasms! Her stricter, reduced sexual activity is probably more than most get.
What was apparent before we went away, and more so on the trip itself, was that she had restricted herself too much. She had decided upon a timeframe that wasn’t fitting to her needs. My needs are secondary. Seen as over-expectations. She’d fallen out of love with it all, as had I. Her moods dictate how we both interact with the cage.

A few quotes from her last night say it all:
“You’ve been saying two months for what seems like a decade, it feels like a whole year!”

“Fuck, I don’t get this enough.” - during sex!

She had got to a point where she didn’t want the cage. I think she really enjoyed being relaxed and being ‘told’ what to do. Having me throw her around etc. telling her to put my balls in her mouth. Telling her to suck me in front of the mirror so I can see her ass. She’s not naturally confident enough to be dominant in the bedroom and I feel she deserves a break from having to think about how to play all this.
That’s siad, she also hates it when this becomes the expectation. It was just the right time. I don’t know which way it will go moving forward. She’ll roll the dice eventually, I just don’t know when she’ll come to that decision.

 

It’s strange to say, but at the time I thought that I was… but after I came to the conclusion that I needed a break, obviously I realised I wasn’t entirely. I’m happy we had that experience to know it wasn’t how we want it to be.

I don’t know. It feels pretty great!
I’ve always been intrigued how long term denial would go, to try something a bit more substantial perhaps. Now I know that too long is not good for me or my relationship. Removing the cage has felt like a weight off me for a while. So I’ve learned that too much of a good thing isn’t necessarily the best way to go. (It’s kinda like pizza!)
I’ve also learned that sex after long denial, when you are truly ready for release, that’s when it is out of this world amazing!
We’ve always had a great sex life, but I’ve always needed more. Chastity creates a break in that mentality, with it I can just enjoy the standard acts of oral, handjobs and intercourse. I have an opportunity now to discover how long that enjoyment will continue. Does a shorter cycle enhance what we already have in a better way than than taking away something we don’t need?

In my mind im thinking it would be nice to lock me away for a couple of weeks and recreate our evening again closer to Valentine’s Day. Allow chastity to work for us and let our intimate moments become special again… not just a routine.

As long as I’ve taken something away from an experience and learn through it I think it will always be worthwhile. Obviously, I’ve had a lot of time to think on these things and it gives me a lot to talk about with my wife and see what she feels will be the best path to follow.
I already know she isn’t done with chastity. As much as I can tell she’s enjoying the break herself, she’s also eager to keep it alive.
She left me to my own devices a few hours ago and before she left she asked “Are you going to have a wank?” When I told her I hadn’t actually planned on doing so she followed up with, “you should, this is your chance, you don’t know when I’ll end this break. It could be tonight.”

I can confirm, I haven’t taken matters into my own hands… but also, I really hope it isn’t tonight!

I don’t even know if it is underwhelming. I think we create an expectation and some false memory that they are the most amazing thing in the world. When it happens you have that deflation. The positive horniness is gone and the orgasm wasn’t what you expected…

Personally, I’ve known for a long time that anal play gives me greater pleasure than anything typical. Yet, I don’t get the craving for that like I do for a standard orgasm. She doesn’t get the same satisfaction through that, the mutual pleasure. I think a mix of everything is probably right for us…
I will see what she has to say.

 

It went perfectly. It’s fully closed up and ready for use. The bar slides in and out without issue and there’s no soreness. Changing out of the cage wasn’t a problem at all… and honestly, it was pretty hot to have my wife do it.

Well, there wasn’t soreness. I don’t know if my bar was slightly too short but when I got erect in it I got a bit of discomfort and it’s sore today. I’ve changed into a longer bar for now… but this one is too long. Need to get shopping!

 

We didn’t really discuss it. Maybe later, who knows. We went out for dinner and now I’m crashing into a food coma!
We did conclude that Thursday was amazing and probably enhanced by the denial. She then joked that I wouldn’t be doing it again as she’s had enough now… to which I joked that she loved my dick too much she wouldn’t say no.
I’m sure there was other stuff too, but I can’t really remember it all. I just know we haven’t discussed the whole situation properly but that’s fine, I don’t want to pressure her one way or another when I don’t even have an answer to it all really.

Oh, no. I’m sure this was fishing… she wanted to know if I would be. She wasn’t granting permission. She’s aware that it’s a possibility, she just knows she isn’t controlling that right now. The fact she brought it up was telling, it’s obviously something she’s thinking about.

I’ve always mused over the role of muscles in it all. As with any of them the less they are used the weaker they become… is that a side affect of chastity and orgasm denial? Our orgasm muscles just die away?
I’m not really sure as I don’t know how that’s linked to the receptors that create that pleasurable feeling. Surely that wouldn’t decline too.
The whole experience is still worth it, everything associated with it all is incredible. Avoiding the orgasm would detract from that too so it has to be an inevitability. Turns out orgasms will always have a place in our relationship.

 

Thank you. I enjoy sharing my journey… even if my journey isn’t starting chastity to being locked full-time because my wife feels that’s the best way. That’s almost the fantasy that we all gravitate towards at some stage and I think this period has given me the understanding of what I really want, and that’s not really it.
There’s a limit to how much denial can really have a positive affect within a relationship.

A 6 week period seemed to be my maximum. No denial seems to be underwhelming too. In the last few days I’ve been tied down, I’ve had blowjobs, handjobs, some anal fun… none of it was as good as when I was made to wait for it.

I get the impression she isn’t as happy with life this way either. I almost came to decision that she would see negative sides and really start to crave denial… I almost wanted to act ‘bratty’ to get that for myself. Now released and have experienced the full denial experience I'm actually enjoying being free. I’m just being me… and she’s feeling that negativity irrespective of my desire for chastity (or current lack of). I haven’t even opened the floodgates and started masturbation.
She commented yesterday (after I spent an afternoon watching a film and then some time watching sports) when I began to interact with her more willingly that “Now, you finally want your family.”
It was a lightbulb moment. Well a re-flick of the switch about what chastity is really all about and It’s not necessarily the denial.

I guess to explain it:

She went out yesterday. In the cage, I would have been thinking about my cock and how I can’t masturbate and how she has taken that control. I’m thinking about that because I’m a man… but what I’m really thinking about is her. I feel that connection.
As I was uncaged, the thoughts really were about her not being around. It’s not our time together so when she came home I didn’t mind having my own time too.
Thats good, everyone needs their own time…. but we’re not intimately connected. She jerked me off at night and there seemed to be less foreplay than usual. There wasn’t. It’s just I hadn’t been thinking about it as much. She needs to put more effort in to make it feel substantial.

Both levels; the intimate connection and sexual satisfaction are heightened very simply by the cage, that only really needs to be in the moment, that day, that weekend, that week. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a period until she sees fit.

 

A conclusion.

It’s been a while since I updated this journal. A long time by my standards anyway… so much has happened that it’s hard to know where to start. I can’t actually remember where I left off or how many orgasms I’ve had…

This will probably be my last in this journal as we move towards something new and counting the days become less meaningful.

All I do know is that as the time outside of my usual confines my mood has dropped off and my wife has started noticing. I’ve come to realise, that whether it’s in the cage, out of the cage, or somewhere in between the way I act and how I feel is determined solely by my wife’s moods. If she’s unhappy, so am I. I probably have some sort of dependency issues! Whatever the reasons for it, I had become a little fatigued within myself whilst free. My wife had critiqued my behaviour so readily that I yearned to be back in the cage.

Truth be told. Although she was freely enjoying the time out of the cage, she was craving it a little too. She seemed in a battle within herself as to why she couldn’t have the best of both worlds, the two months of lockdown had taken its toll on her as much as it had me. She was no longer enjoying that life, but she was realising that sacrificing some of her sexual activities was overall better than handing it out on a plate to me and reaping no rewards outside of the bed.

This period was the worst!

I didn’t know which lifestyle she was going to criticise me for at any given moment. She moved from criticising the fact I was replaced by a dildo to not giving enough affectionate out of the cage. From not wanting to have sex with her to using sex as a transaction. From an annoyance with my masturbation to telling me how much me masturbating over her turned her on. From expecting her to do too little to not doing anything at all… if you can think of it, she complained about it.

Then there were the messages. “Get back in your cage tonight”. “I don’t know why you ever introduced the cage, I was happy not knowing how good things were”.

Overall, I’d just say she was in a very bad place!

So that’s where we got to. I felt like I was left in limbo. As I read in another thread today, our ‘old normal’ just didn’t work for us anymore!

So, we move to the last few days where we seem to have found a way forward. She came to a decision on what she wanted and we’re going to see how we can make that work for her, to give her the right balance and maintain her overall happiness.

Saturday

It started on Saturday. We had a big “argument” over our predicament. It wasn’t an argument as such as a conversation over how we were going to sort this out that got rather heated - and then rather passionate. I guess all the talk over our sexual desires and fantasies and everything we were doing currently got the better of us. We failed to conclude on anything before we were both naked and going at it like rabbits!

Thinking to her claim about my masturbation I held off ejaculating until she was satisfied and then withdrew from her, taking my time to masturbate in front of (and all over her). Seeing me make myself cum is something that scarcely ever happens and I think she appreciated in some perverse way that I was actually listening to her.

We didn’t find a solution, but we both left with a lot more information about what makes each other tick and how we wanted things to be.


Sunday

As we hadn’t agreed on anything as such, she messaged me the next day (I was at work) to talk it through some more. I found this frustrating, I was at work after all and needless to say this exchange proved fruitless. She did give a nod towards using the cage again in some way. (Maybe she hadn’t enjoyed the masturbation haha!)

That night, I had one of those lightbulb moments, I actually don’t communicate half as well as I think I do. I started this journal discussing how I wanted the cage to contain my sexual desires and become satisfied with the simpler acts. A means to ensure we both have a healthy sex-life. Somewhere along the line I’d forgotten to explain this to my wife!

So as she emotionally told me how frustrating it was that I will never be satisfied whatever happens, how I always lead her down another path and need more, I did something she was not expecting.

I agreed with her!

I knew that was an issue. I explained that all the kinks we have tried that the cage was my favourite because it kept me on a level with her. Since we have started there has been no major escalations; no fisting, no crossdressing, no anal, no planning of threesomes or swinging, I don’t expect her to dress up, don’t expect her to do certain things and we’ve barely bought any more toys. I am far more content and the only way to keep that alive is for her to embrace with positivity how well this changes us (or more to the point, me!). Any avenue we have gone down has been through experimentation between us both and an agreement from her. She might not like it, but she has guided me too. This was a lightbulb moment for her.

Seeing that she was actually in favour of the cage at this point, I wanted to delve a little more into the issues she is facing with it.

“Is the issue that you can’t have sex whether you want or that my orgasms cause issues if you do? Because we can do one without the other? Do you need me to cum to enjoy sex?”

I didn’t get an answer. Instead after a few moments of silence we found ourselves in the heat of passion once again…

There wasn’t much of a variation to the night before, however, subtle differences in her motions and demeanour gave a glimpse that she was more in control. We actually talked a little as we made love, she was telling me all the positive aspects she found with caged life. The massages, the way I look at her, the things I do for her… and the big one: premature ejaculation! It was quite a turn on. Eventually, she hit me with “don’t cum. You’ve done that enough recently.”

I couldn’t argue, honestly, she was right. I didn’t even feel the need to by now. She on the other hand had a whole lot of fun doing just the opposite!

At this point it was her turn to surprise me (and perhaps give me a glimpse into our future). After the sex, and I was laid expecting no more to occur she began to completely take the lead. Getting her strap-on, putting on her typical ‘strap-on attire’ (for anyone not in the know by now this is a Pokémon T-shirt and plain boy shorts) before pushing me down and sucking my raging penis until she could sense I was at the edge.

“Any longer and you’d have ruined my orgasm!” I told her as she removed her mouth from me.

“I know! You won’t be getting that a lot anymore don’t worry.” She replied with her little devious smile. (I don’t know if devious is the word, it’s quite cute, but she only does it whilst being mischievous.). “Do you want it like this? It’s very intimate.” She remarked as she moved herself on top of me.

Nearly 4 months since she pegged me. It’s been a while. I did cum, but mostly from her rubbing herself against me. I guess I could detail more but this post is getting looooong…

I will give one detail, after she told me the shorts needed washing! She really loves pegging and it was pretty clear with how ridiculously moist they had become!


Monday.

The conclusion. Her conclusion:

I’ll be in my cage for a week at a time. She might roll a dice to decide how long I’ll be out for. I’ll definitely be in the cage whilst she’s on her period. I can cum a maximum of once a week… (she didn’t say how but I later found out that any orgasm counts).

I didn’t have much to say. I told her it was a good starting point and that from now on I just want her to take the lead on how often I cum and how long I’m in or out of the cage (I was very specific that I don’t want her to take the lead on anything further. This isn’t a lifestyle, just our sex life for her to decide upon).
I told her whatever she chooses will make me happy. I’m getting the denial I crave and she knows how to make me orgasm in the best possible way.
I asked her to make decisions on what’s best for her and to trail it based on her needs. If making me orgasm once a week doesn’t give her the outcome (outside of the bedroom) she desires she should try something else. This needs to be her thing or she’ll never be happy with it.

So that was that. She called me into the bath, washed me very, very thoroughly until I was so close and told me “you’re not cumming. You’ve asked to be denied, you might as well get used to it.”

She locked me up once I was dry. I massaged her. She orgasmed. I fell to sleep holding her. Back to our new normal.

As I now have some very vivid recent memories going around my head, my frustrations at being confined are off the charts! I’m already desperate for her! It’s only day one. What have I done?!

 

It’s sure does and she’s not making it easy. Her current sex drive is through the roof!
Last night I kissed her back as I spooned her, we were only watching Tv innocently, this lead to her very quickly directing me to provide oral.
45 mins later and she’s telling me “I think that’s 5 days in a row I’ve had an orgasm. I should give myself a break soon.”
I think it’s me that needs the break right now. This is torture!

 

I do love it. I love how happy she suddenly seems, how close we are, how aroused she seems to be right now…
I have mixed emotions about being locked up right now. It feels like home, but I was really enjoying the vacation!

 

https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...e-lot-of-pegging-my-wife’s-new-journey.54670/

Moved from 121 days to something new.