What should I expect from long term lock-up?

Once you can handle two months, then you can do six months. Next nine months, then a year.

After that, it becomes a part of you, and your entire outlook changes. You can handle indefinite denial.

 

Enjoy the journey. You can indeed cope with indefinite denial once you have passed two months. My wife and I have been trying make chastity for the last 3 years or so. Cages broke my bad behaviour and made me a better husband; nowadays she prefers me uncaged so she can use her cock when she wants. But I remain orgasm-free. My wife prefers it that way, keeping me always horny. I still have the freedom to have erections.

 

You never quite plateau. It's very unpredictable. You can go for days feeling fine and then, for no obvious reason, get incredibly horny. Then calm down again. And repeat.

Good luck

 

When I started long term it was quite a roller coaster.

if you can imagine trying to swim out through big surf from an ocean beach it was a bit like that.
Getting knocked beck and rolled around underwater with every big roller coming in.
I had to keep swimming because I didn't have the keys. Someone else did and they werent giving them up.
Eventually, if you keep going you find your self far out beyond the breaking waves.
The battle is over and you tread water while gently rising and falling on the swell.

You might loose your erections along the way. Or at least find them less severe.
You might find that your balancing on the edge of arousal a lot of the time.
super aroused and flaccid and if you have one, you might be feeling the pull of your keyholder.
They may begin to mean a lot more to you.
You may feel differently about other things, like driving a car for instance or more generally, your place in society.
You might feel you've become more in touch with your emotions.

After a while you'll forget about being locked, or get used to it.
or at least find that it's less immediate.
And then sometimes it might feel like you will orgasm if a bird flew past or a dog barked.
Sometimes you might feel aroused for days. I do. Something triggers it and then it lingers.

You may also find that other parts of you have become more sensitive and can trigger arousal.

And that actually you can enjoy being submersed in arousal without having to bring it to a climax.
Just relax and drift along in it,
And sometimes want to desperately fuck anything, Even a pillow.

Everyones journey will be different of course but those are just some of my feelings about it.

I'm so glad I found it.

 

You may start to get wet dreams.
i do sometimes.
I was chatting to another long term member today and he said he ejaculated while dreaming about something entirely unrelated to sex.

 

Are you talking about locked and denied completely? No erections, no play time, teasing etc?
Or locked but out when she wants to play and just no orgasms for you?
I’m at the point where full orgasms just don’t seem worth it any more and my Wife agrees, so we’re on week 6 since my last full orgasm and trying to go the rest of ‘23 with just a couple light ruins per month at most. It’s already getting intense.

 

I think you should abandon expectations.

 

Not what I wanted or was hoping for in the beginning but I am locked now for 2 years mostly 24/7 no piv no sex at all on any level no t&d . I have only been allowed to give her an orgasm orally 3 times in the last year. I am not in a good place right now. Shrinkage while maybe not permanent is real
I was recently for a medical reason uncaged for 12 hours during which I slept. I got an erection that was very painful. It was like it was trying to stretch and expand but couldn’t. The tissues in my penis have hardened and are not pliable. I had hoped we would transition to a full blown FLR and D/s marriage but it seems like it is just sexless and devoid of any real intimacy. I am over 65 so I guess I will be living out the rest of my years this way. The fantasy is what we all have but the reality for most I think is pretty much just how it is for me. I retrospectively believe I started all this ti reignite our sex lives but it would seem you can’t breathe life into something that is already dead

 

Gosh, that sounds awful. Why do you persevere with being caged? If you have no sexual intimacy with your wife. Don’t accept the situation if you are getting nothing from it anymore. 65 is not old! I am 61 and really enjoying a revived sexual relationship with my wife,

 

I don’t believe my post was asking for advice but here goes anyway. If a marriage is based on sex; it is not marriage but a sexual relationship.
After 25 plus years there is a lot a couple goes through including burying parents, relocation, retirement, life altering events, sometimes even burying children. I don’t know what makes you qualified to give marital counseling but I suggest you adjust your compass. Life is a hell of a lot more than sex and kink. And marriage is first and foremost commitment. Not optional to check out when the shit hits the fan. For the most part here you will hear a LOT of bs about what couples do. Some is fiction, living a FLR and D/s relationship day in and day out is not the same as having an occasional kink time. Almost all men will agree to commit to something that is not really sustainable 24/7. 365 days a year, year after year. Being caged 24/7 long term is not without physical challenges and can create issues with the body. Even though I am in a custom cage for 2+ years I have developed calluses and developed hardening of certain tissues that now cause discomfort and painful erections. Not everyone has the same experience or issues. The OP was asking a valid question and there will be different responses, not all rainbows and fairy tales. As another poster stated, very accurately, it is like going through the surf to deeper waters.at times you will be pounded by the waves and at times you will feel like you are floating on the ocean pleasantly. If you have never ran into problems along the way then you have not experienced the fullness of the lifestyle.

 

This is a great description of what it’s like. I have only been orgasm-less for 14 months but know it’s forever and my mindset has changed radically. Now, if offered the option of orgasm I wouldn’t want it. Even being offered it would distress me because my whole sexual self image has been redefined as being permanently denied and Miss liking it that way.
The intense mental arousal is accompanied less and less by full erection, it’s now located primarily in the mind and belly not the penis. And it’s provoked by any form of attention by Miss. Something that has accelerated this process of reconditioning is that she has told me not to fantasise or form mental images of a sexual nature, and use distraction in case of erections. Obviously she can’t literally control my mind but my over-riding desire to please her means I comply.

 

I believe that your mind, or brain is the most important sex organ.

 

You can expect not to be touched for a long time!

 

For me it did a couple of things (in no specific order):

It removed pressure for performing, being impotent this was huge for me (i can get semi hard very shortly but never enough, made me good at cunnilingus though, hehe)

Long term chastity solidified my “place in the relationship. i didn’t fight it (enough?) She couldn’t see me as sexually functioning man.
She has a lover now, i’m cut off sexually for quite some time now.

It made me refocus on other stimulus: nipple play/clamps give me most pleasure. Second to being used/ pegged, which haven’t happened often yet.

I started to re-express my love for feminisation, dressing androgynously, full fem-ish. And took up tightlacing (corsetry) again, gotta get that purrrrty figure…⏳

After 3 months i got afraid to take it off, when offered the choice by my keyholder. As it is a slippery slope: It won’t make you a more confident, better lover, erection wise obviously.

Shrinkage: i guess so, not too sure. i’d call it “very out of shape” since it’s not used anymore (or ever for some i guess): discarted one could say.

Good luck!

 

I think what long term locked guys experience can be very different for a number of factors.
1. Your reaction to it, both physically & mentally.
2. Your key-holders genuine interest in the concept. How engaged they may/may not be.
3. How comfortable & well fitting your device is.
4. How committed you both are to reach a goal with your chastity.

Just like doing up your home, it takes time, energy & effort as well as learning as you go.

If you can get the above to where you both like it, I find the general feeling of simmering arousal is very enjoyable indeed. Sometimes it’s distracting when you need to do everyday tasks, but tapping into your submissive psyche can help here I have found.

Enjoy the ride & report back so we can hear how your experience was for you.

All the best.

 

I'm so very sorry for you. It would not work for me being in chastity if m wife just ignored me and did not allow me to pleasure her.

 

Exactly. It's a kink best shared.

 

Expect some ups and downs along the way. After the initial thrill of being locked subsides, you will have to mentally work through your new situation and the fact that your cock and getting off is no longer your choice. As you transition from being focused on your self and move to being solely focused on your KH and her wants and needs you will naturally have doubts and reservations about being locked.

It will take time but you will move beyond your frustrations and will learn to crave the cage and the pressure it takes off you and allows you to be focused on her. Having your cock locked will refocus your own pleasure zones to other areas like your nipples and ass. Pegging will become your new form of penetrative sex and you will learn to crave it.

The chastity journey isn't easy but it is completely worth it. Keep your lines of communication open. It will draw you closer to your KH and your new relationship will be incredible. Good luck and enjoy the journey.

 

Thinking about never again is far worse than never again itself. Okay, I am a relative newbie - 4 years ago I swore, and meant it, that I wouldn't put up with months of denial. I sit here now without a proper orgasm in over a year and a half yet find more and more reasons to love the lifestyle every day.

I would say the "waves" are bigger but further between. She loves that she can affect me with just a look and I love being helplessly in love, craving what I know I can't have. Of course I have a wonderful wife and we talk often. She makes sure I am getting something out of it and knows that by doing so she builds her power over me, which is great.

I hope your experience is just as fulfilling. Do be afraid - very afraid. It is supposed to be scary because your body and your ego were not built for this. Which is also what makes it work so well IMHO.