What is your wife / KH's primary motivation for chastity and orgasm denial?

She started out as a KH simply to indulge me. She was curious about it but it was my kink and she was engaging to please me and that pleased her enough to make it worthwhile.

Over time she’s become genuinely into it and escalated things a bit. It’s made us more intimate, given a food ‘in road’ and excuse for regular communication in terms of our sex life and it’s become a major part of our dynamic.

Her indulging me early on was enough to get us started but wouldn’t have been enough to make chastity fulfilling in the longer term. At this stage her primary motivation is that it genuinely really turns her on to keep my caged. That’s the key - if you’re in a relationship with your KH you both need to get something out of it.

 

I would say even after years it's still just to indulge me.

If I said today I was done with chastity she'd ditch the whole thing happily.

Honestly, I'm locked less and less for that reason. She has fun short term for things like Locktober but after that it becomes a bother and she'd rather just have sex.

 

She likes the control. We took a break for a while and I was enjoying my freedom. I was ready to go back to pre-chastity living. I thought she would too.

I was wrong. She has tasted the power that comes from denying me, and she won't give it up. It's my fault, now I have to live with it.

 

It 100% started at my suggestion.
First time was for a couple weeks, then we went 6 months.

During our break I couldn’t last more than 30 seconds inside her, I was irritable, picking fights. It was bad.

I was relocked on Sept 12 and informed on Sept 30 that this is now permanent because: I’m more “user friendly” and she won’t have to worry about a mess after 7 pumps and a grunt. Plus, she can finally have the size dick she wants.

 

Chastity was always 100% Madams idea, she discovered it and then introduced me to it, and as soon as she knew you could cage a cock she wanted mine caged! Firstly it was always about control, about controlling when I could pleasure my self, when I could orgasm, and controlling me to endure the difficulties that come with being locked in a device 24/7.
To begin Madam thought that stopping me masturbating every day would improve my performance as a lover, when it didn’t and after weeks and months of being denied I was still inferior she was angry so chose to use it as a method of punishment for depriving her from orgasms to.

 

She likes having someone who is outwardly her boyfriend but behind closed doors is always available for oral sex, foot and full body massages. She likes having me there for company when she's not bothered about sex.

 

My wife likes the control she has 24X7. We were into BDSM and over time she became the Domme and I the sub. A session lasted anywhere from a few hours to a weekend and then it was dome. This way she controls my cock and how it used. There is nothing hotter for her than sitting in the hot tub and getting intimate with her receiving orgasms and me just having the pleasure of giving them to her. If I was great during the week, I might get a reward on the weekend of a release and either fucking her or a blow job.

 

1. Knowing that I can not masturbate
2. Foreplay for as long as she wants
3. Passionate hugging and Kissing
4. She gets to decide if there will be PIV or just a long foreplay or orgasm/s for her as per her choice of method
5. No hurry/ possibility from me to start piv
6. Im always horny and eager for any kind of intimacy


This started as my fantasy of femdom and I introduced chastity to her. She now wants me locked irrespective of bdsm/ femdom aspect of it.

 

I did it first for security. Then i discovered I liked the control. Then I learned how effective it could be to keep his masturbation and pornography watching to a minimum and also as a Disciplinary tool.

 

I was wondering what you meant by security? So he won't lose it?

 

She told me "I'm going to do this for you because I know its important to you, but if I get any whining from you its coming off."
As far as orgasm deniel that's easy , she's always been a cocktease, has been for our entire relationship, over twenty years.

 

My wife would answer "Control". Many minutes later she would admit there are several other facets of EMC that she likes, but really most of them point back to the security that the control provides her. That feeling, that emotion, gets her horny and then the fun starts.

 

In 2019 or so my Wife and I were working hard with a therapist or three to get control of my awful depression and the associated damage to our marriage it was causing. We really wanted to restart our sex life as part of the progress we were making. She agreed to try chastity (for the second time) as a way to stop my masturbation. So She keeps me locked for that reason and as part of a way to have a little eroticism in our otherwise struggling/dormant sex life together. It's part of our FLR and my commitment to serve Her. Our marriage has never been better.

She's pretty vanilla, but this is working. Our chastity lifestyle, barring some unforeseen event, is permanent. She relaxes knowing that I'm not beating off, even if generally She has no idea how long She has denied me. She was shocked to learn recently how long it's been - tonight is our two-year anniversary of total orgasm denial. So clearly I can take it, and clearly also we're never going back to our pre-chastity arrangement.

Now if I could just get Her head around the idea of taking advantage of my submissive nature and using me more and more selfishly.

 

While my wife doesn’t like the cage she loves me on the honor system. Her motivation is emotional intimacy

 

I introduced chastity in our relationship when husband was still my boyfriend. He never liked it but submits to it for me. If he disobeys me, I'll lock him up until it's time for the Disciplinary Session. I try to lock him up for as long as I can before it. If I discover he's looked at pornography, which I don't permit, on a Wednesday, I'll schedule the Disciplinary Session for week from say Saturday and he's locked up for ten days or so. Understand I don't keep him locked up all the time like a lot of guys on CM are.

I'll use Points of Intrigue, especially when I require him to pleasure me while he's under lock and key.

When I lock him up, he knows he's not getting any pleasure until I let him out. It's usually too long for him but if he didn't disobey me, he wouldn't be in that position, now would he? It also reminds him a Disciplinary Session is coming. Disciplinary Se4ssions are real unpleasant for him. I find them real pleasant for me.

 

The first security motivation was to keep him from cheating. Before he was my boyfriend, I knew him from the bar we used to hang out it. The women were all over him. On the other hand, I never exactly got my pick of the guys and I'd been cheated on before. He's a lot younger than me, too..

I've posted about this on other threads, but, eventually I came to the idea of me putting a cage on him if I had to work a weekend night at the hotel. It wasn't I didn't trust him but I was afraid if he got a few too many in him, he might do something he shouldn't.

Later, I also used it to keep him from looking at pornography and masturbating.. I'm supposed to be the only source of sexual delight for him. Besides, his penis is My Property and I don't let anybody else do anything with My Property.

 

The penis in our marriage now belongs to me and I decide about it's usage.
I really like to play with it and do it often. My husband seem to love his submissive side and how I take control about it.

 

I introduced this lifestyle to my wife on recently. She has lovingly agreed to be my KeyHolder. Since then she has received constant attention from me and I have been trying to let her allow me to please her overnight. Now that she is discovering the power behind it she is making lists of things she expects from me. She will get it too. I will do whatever she wants. I never thought of myself as a sub before. But here I am. I found out that whenever she wants anything I jump. I guess that means I am a sub even if I did not know it. She also has already told me that my chastity wont be just for Locktober but is extended until January of 2024. No release or cumming before then. It is going to be an interesting journey. But I am thrilled to be on it.

 

Power , she loves the power

 

My wife enjoys the freedom from guilt and feeling compelled to do something she’s not in the mood for just to make me happy. She also likes that it challenges me both physically and mentally and I am both willing and able to endure it in favor of her. She says it makes her feel valuable.

 

Initially, I was indulging hubby's orgasm denial kink. I didn't hate it, but I didn't exactly enjoy it either. Eventually I realized how much I enjoyed being in control, and that became my primary motivation for many years. Now and then we played with chastity, but again it was mostly hubby's kink.

It wasn't until last year that I discovered just how powerful chastity could be. Now that I've seen how wonderful things can be when hubby has been denied for months at a time I feel there's no going back.

 

Increased intimacy - more cuddles, kisses, daily foot rubs and bedtime massages, having a generally doting husband who is razor focused on keeping them happy.