Taking stock. Do we get more than we bargained for?

Well put mate. I could have written most of that myself. I started not from boredom but from porn-addiction

 

100% Used to love the me time, but it was self-destructive

I watched so much porn and wanked so much I'd lost feeling down there and made it hard for her to feel she was pleasing me

 

I got more than I bargained for, but I also got what I didn't know I wanted.

I didn't want chastity 24/7, now I feel lost when I'm not caged.

I didn't want to be prohibited from jacking off, and now after a remarkable occasion where I was told I can, I feel cheap and dirty when I do.

I didn't want to be taught to have zero stamina and ultimately be unable to withstand sustained penetration, yet my Wife glows while demonstrating her control over me and I accept and appreciate this is the way she wants to enjoy me.

I didn't want to be forcibly paddled until I cry for mistakes, yet I have learned to appreciate the corrections and let them fuel improvement.

I didn't expect to be forced to watch other men enjoy my Wife, much less informed I was a natural cuckold, but it turned out I was and I love it.

I didn't expect to not be allowed to walk beside my Wife in public, but now I enjoy the attention she gets as I trail behind her.

I didn't expect to just be taken to lunch and dinner at restaurants and not given a choice what to eat, as she orders for me and pays later. Turns out I eat a lot more varied meals.

So many things I never, ever expected. I wanted to have some sauce in the bedroom - and I ended up having her take total control of my life. I have no money, and have no idea of our financial state.

I was stopped outside a secure building last week and asked for ID. The deputy was incredulous that this man in jeans and a suit jacket, with expensive shirt and fancy shoes, and a leather Coach bag over his shoulder didn't have any. I don't carry a wallet cause I don't spend money. I'm driven around almost everywhere although I do have several very expensive cars.

All I know is I don't want for anything. I am very loved and well-kept. I've met other submissive husbands and other cucks and through them I know I'm living the dream and I'm very appreciative of that.

 

I last had piv sex over 6 months ago. Since then I've been a playmate who never asks for sex but does anything when asked. A foot massager and listener. A masseuse. Being allowed to give oral is the height of my sex life so I do it lovingly and with gratitude. A "me" night is ballbusting and pegging with none of this gentle teasing I read about. I show I'm grateful for the care and effort put into her punishments. Where do we go from here... why would she change things? And how could I possibly assert myself to change things back after submitting for so long?

 

Cucks have a symbiotic relationship with the cuckoldress. It turns out it's a feedback loop - the dominant gets to DOMINATE and the submissive gets a kink overload. It's very much a 2 participant activity. I think that's why it's so misunderstood. Most people think it's a Wife just getting her rocks off.

My Mistress could give a flip about the strange dick, but exercising ultimate control and dominating their submissive in such a compelling kinky way is what she likes. Me, I enjoy the humiliation, the submission, and the visual feast. Impact play can involve submission. Pegging can involve submission. But consensual non-monagamy hits on so many levels (sight/sound/smell/taste/emotion) its an endorphin rush that blows all those other things away.

She didn't gravitate to that kink right away- she was encouraged to try it by other Dominant women, and she gave me a choice. I said sure I'll try it. Glad I did.

 

I suppose sometimes I'd switch off the chastity d/s dynamic for a night but I haven't felt strongly enough to try that. It would seem like breaking the realism to use a book or film analogy not just mine but hers too and that's a major thing now that she is feeling the flow. The 6 months no sex does seem extreme now I look back and does not bode well for the future but it just kind of happened. I think that signals I've arrived in a place I never thought possible. It hasn't seemed like over the top cruelty actually and maybe I am being trained to see that place as something to be worshipped with my mouth not penetrated. I don't think I ever planned for that or thought I wanted that to be my sex life. I know i feel great that it makes her happy and it does feel natural and normal.

 

This all started as just wanting to try a new toy and maybe get the Wife to see if she enjoyed being a little dominant with our mutual interest in light bdsm. After 28 years of marriage that started at 18, we’d always tried different sexual things and fortunately for me, she has always been very open with me sexually and discussed what she likes and doesn’t like.
She was NOT a natural submissive which made my desires to dominate her not much fun. So we swapped roles when that first cage arrived, after a few discussions and she’s very quickly finding her stride as a dominant Keyholder as we go along.

Unlike many others here, I did not have a wanking problem or porn addiction issue, we had sex on average 7-10 times a week for almost our entire marriage, minus some recovery time from childbirths and a short time in our early 40’s when we both discovered hormone imbalances that required TRT fix. The cage ended up helping through part of that also, it can be a roller coaster while adjusting your dosage and sometimes ED happens and is a total mind fuck!

Any way, now that we’ve hit a new normal sex life of mostly oral sex for her, a few sessions of piv per week mostly on weekends, teasing, maintenance spankings and pegging a couple times a month for me,
Orgasms for me going from well over 400-500 a year to now possibly under 20 this year, I sometimes wonder what I’ve asked for!
But I’m addicted to this feeling! Not just the constant horniness and arousal, but something far deeper.
I’ve always tried to treat my Wife as the most important person in the world, she is my best friend and has been since we met at the end of high school, but somehow this little metal cage on my cock has taken all that focus I once had on the penis and shifted that to making her life even easier.
I crave to please even more than before, and I’m realizing that between those feelings for her that have intensified, plus the increased sensitivity when I do get a reward of penis play time, I don’t think I could go back to our “normal” sex life where I’m the “alpha”. And from things my Wife has said, I don’t see her giving this up, not completely at least. I might be able to negotiate more orgasms if I could control my sub drop possibly, but I see this as my normal for many many years going forward. And for now I’m at peace with that and I’m loving this new life. I like the submissive feelings, I don’t in any way feel like less of a man, everything about this just feels like a win win.
Hopefully I won’t look back at this in a year or two and regret starting this

 

Part of the fascination with being here is hearing from others with similar experiences. It's somehow encouraging to hear your wife is embracing and insisting on chastity. My mistress is developing the same way. It's gone from a rather interesting sex toy I first brought up, to her feeling totally confident that this is what I really want and need and her I think, feeling happier in her sex life than she's ever been. I have doubts sometimes about the choice I made but that goes on here or in my head. I'm not going to try to change anything while she is so content. The way things are going I'll either have a brat tantrum sometime or my brain and body will change to accept this. Right now it's the latter, I'm so happy to have relinquished all control.

 

I agree with you, but I would never, could never and wouldn't accept going down that path, 1st off the wife would never even consider it, and I wouldn't stay with her if she did.

 

I’m with Caged on this. I married the woman I love 32 years ago. I fully admit I’m not the youthful man I once was, but that doesn’t change the vows we made so long ago. She still turns heads when she crosses a room and I absolutely love that. I made a promise to submit to her…but I will never share her. That’s where the old alpha rears it’s head. I can honestly say she would never even consider it… and I love that as well.

 

It's amazing the way chastity can slowly evolve and reveal and make explicit the submissiveness that underlies our sexual personality. You didn't plan not to have sex for 6 months, but taking it one day at a time it happens. We love oral sex, but we didn't think it would be all. We love pussy, but now "see that place as something to be worshipped with [our[ mouth not penetrated." We feel great that she's happy -- but still fight the "[]shame of] not calling the shots and having regular sex like other males .. probably are." We're socialized not to be submissive and so we fight the shame when we realize that we are, the shame that we're happy being locked, the shame when we understand that pussy is too good for us. Deeper and deeper becomes the realization that we are submissive. It's a struggle and yet we thank her so much for helping us to open up to ourselves.

 

Up until now I was pretty sure I wanted chastity so no real choice for me to make. My mistress is always enthusiastic to try things that excite me, I didn't just meet an accomplished natural domme it evolved from being sensitive to each others desires. I feel at a turning point now. She's no longer trying it to see if she likes it, she has decided she likes it. She has decided it's our normal, no longer just playing with a sex toy. My male needs and orgasms have not been mentioned by either of us this year. This has swing the ball firmly back into my court. She is content and has no real choice to make, just enjoy oral on demand from her chastity slave. Now I have to decide if I am going to conduct myself as a slave should, no demands, no requests no begging just worshipping my mistress day by day until she decides any different. It's scary in a way and I realise if things go as described above and she remains satisfied I am passing a point of no return.

 

@IB-Chaste i think it must be hard as well for men thats got a big willy and likes to get it hard. it difrent for me cos i dont have all that and it is lots easy for me cos i dont like having a willy anyway.

 

It's a catch 22, isn't it?
Wanting to be in chastity is wanting to not get what you wanted.
Or is it wishing that you didn't want to want to not get what you wanted?

 

I wish my brain farts were as articulated as yours. You are a pup compared to most here, yet your conclusions are where a lot of us would dream to be

Thank you for taking the time for writing.

When you think you know everything you cease to learn

 

While I still love chastity, there are times, especially when I'm taking a shower and using Q-Tips to clean myself that I sometimes wonder, is this how it will be now for the rest of my life? Am I now forever-locked? It can be a bit daunting when you start to think of it like that. But then I rinse, dry off, and get on with the day.

 

That had become so routine I can't imagine it any different!

 

Chaz69 have a quick peak at my gallery, try and get hold of one of those shower douch kits you can get them on amazon. They make cleaning an absolute breeze even in an enclosed cage. You can also just buy the head its cheaper. I just blast it clean each day and even after 3 weeks no unlocking it came out with no whiff