This weekend I got a Reward from my queen. I got to cum inside her during PIV. Its an issue. We talked about tease and denial. But she likes it when we orgasm togheter. So do I ofcourse. But after I have big trouble focusing and keep my obedience and service level. How do you all cope with this issues?
I've never really had the drop people speak of after just an orgasm or two. My first one out either sucks or is amazing no real in between.
You can just let her know that you struggle with it, and that you would appreciate extra help from her. 1. Always relock ASAP -- this helps me the most. 2. If she's willing to punish you, it can help put your mind back in the right place, for example if your attitude isn't good enough. It's mainly about her exerting control, which can help flip your submissive switch back on.
If she wants you to orgasm then meditation will help with focus and self control, which will help with your other issues. You are a grown adult man, not a five year old child. It's time to take some responsibility for your own behaviour.
I understand the drop, but for me it doesn't last very long. Sorry, that doesn't much help you but it's the truth
Ive noticed the longer we’ve lived this way, and once we got far more serious about the denial, that the drop has pretty much gone away. If she sticks to one full orgasm, maybe two, then clean up and lock up again, I’m usually fine and actually back to craving even more orgasms which of course gets me back into being in the right mindset because I know I’m not going to be allowed any more for a long period of time. Now we have had a couple times in the last couple years where my Wife has decided she want me out of the cage for a few days and she has me cum 3-5 times or whatever, that’s when I lose all desire for chastity and serving her to a higher standard etc. She’s realized the attitude change from this of course, and she knows I don’t like the way it makes me feel either, so now those freedom days and cumming a bunch are probably a thing of the past. I think I’ll be lucky to hit double digits for full orgasms this year, we both enjoy ruins now and will try to push me to one full O every two months
The drop hits me pretty hard. I get grumpy and I don’t want to be. The solution; no orgasms for me. Sex is the best it has ever been. My stamina is nearly fully under my control. We can take our time. Our focus is in the moment and all about her. We can go as slow or fast, and as long as she wishes. It is a Tantric sort of experience and quite unexpected. The downside is sexual frustration drives my submissiveness. Right off the chart.
The short answer is semen retention. I've got the meh's after orgasming big time. I've discussed this with my wife. It's gotten more noticeable once I stopped jerking off. I suppose the frequency between orgasms got longer which made the meh mood deeper. It's gotten so that the orgasm is not worth the days of meh afterwards. Worse is that my mood is noticeable to her and she doesn't like it either. This has turned into semen retention. I find it's difficult. It's likely that I won't orgasm at all anymore. It would be fun I suppose to say, "I'm not ALLOWED" to cum, but that's not it. Neither of us want me to cum. And it's because of the meh. Yeah, it'll probably happen once in a while, but over time, I expect it to happen less and less. We're at the point where both of us become disappointed if I cum. The pleasure I used to feel from them pretty much is gone. It's just pretty hard to control them.
Like crossdressers who dress up sexy and play they love being that girl in the mirror touching oneself, the passion and fantasy grow until release. Once release is had, they cannot strip out of their cloths fast enough. The fever is gone, need all to return to normal. I do not act like that, never doing it again until that need starts to build once more. If you have not purged and have to buy new, it starts over. The Fantasy builds and grows within us and starts to replace the male ego and grow, you want to dress, serve, play nasty games, allowing the fever to return. My first Dominant, he would unlock me, get me turned on like no tomorrow, give me a release then lock me back up then get ready for the night's activity or party. So to be honest, at first, until learning to control myself, it sucked being the only one who's just released and lost my edge naked and locked. Sir made me keep a journal. I carried a punishment notebook, Sir bought me books about control/ego and service, all to break me of it, putting me into a better space. Now every morning I start my day with my Daily affirmations at a small altar in my closet for Mistress and Goddess in my room, it has always helped to remind me and control myself a lot better.
My wife recognizes the drop and leaves me alone for a day or two to recover. I think she actually enjoys this short timeout for herself. I have found in the last few years, the drop is very short for me...like after an hour or two I am all horned up again. I think it is because I am only allowed a few orgasms a year so I guess the orgasm does not drain out all my pent up energy. If she gives me a ruined orgasm, I do not experience the drop at all. It actually makes me more horny!
2 years into this journey, we have found that once a month prevents the drop for me. And I'm more desperate for release than in the early days. When she teases me, my desperation shows like never before. She used to recognize it and decide it was time for a release. But no more.... it doesn't faze her. I'm stuck until it's something she really wants. No matter how good I've been.
I can agree with many of these posts, but this is one of the reasons we added chastity into our D/s relationship. I would have a major drop that would last for days sometimes. I would fall asleep right afterwards because I was so exhausted. Masturbation wasn’t as bad as sex, but would accumulate if I masturbated each day. I really got crabby and tired for days. I even sought medical advice with no success. My Mistress can take me to my subspace without the 2-3 day hangover and I enjoy it more.
My wife (KH) wrote about her views on this in her journal when she granted me a full O for my birthday back in December. She was not impressed by the change in my behaviour and I don't think I'll be getting another one anytime soon!
May feel it less if you cum less often. I'm allowed to cum once a month and don't really get a drop, if anything i'm at my horniest in the 2-3 days after being allowed to cum.
When i'm allowed to orgasm it's amazing, i can feel a wave like pre-orgasm when i'm close and then when i'm tipped over the edge it's like a full body thing. I'm also very loud which i can't help, neighbours probably think it's a womans orgasm noises.
That's precisely my experience as well. I'm grateful the closest neighbor is 800 ft away through the woods. On the other hand, when we're traveling and staying in a hotel....