Contract Time

Always much better to lock up again immediately after any release. You need to get to the stage when you feel something is missing. But your new contract should ensue immediate relocking.

 

These always seemed extreme. We started with a few basic rules we agreed upon on paper to clarify things but relationships evolve. Saying you can't terminate the contract is kinda a red flag as well. Both parties have the right to opt out.

 

That is very well worded, but perhaps it would be better with different terms. Female and Male don't seem quite right. Many would prefer "Mistress" and "Servant" or perhaps "Slave". For me it would be "Majesty" and "The Loyal Subject" or "Servant".

The familiar terms would make it more bespoke and relevant for that particular partnership.

That said, I like to content very much, well done.

 

I agree with that, it needs to be biased in her favour.

 

“Red flag” how? I’m not sure what you mean.

 

Obviously, if you decide that you don't want to be caged anymore, then you can break the lock and get out. There is no such thing as non-consensual chastity.

However, having made a written commitment to obey and comply, it is more difficult to break the agreement.

If you were never intending to comply with the agreement, why make it anyway?

 

Too formulaic for me - just go with it !

 

That he can't end the contract if he feels lines have been crossed or becomes uncomfortable with it.

 

Obviously that’s what it means… but why is that a problem?

 

Can't believe this needs to be said but consent can end at any time.

 

If that’s the case, surely nothing to worry about then?
Tho I’m not sure it IS the case… take the example of drug addiction: people start out choosing to use addictive substances, but at some point discover they’re hooked. After that they aren’t choosing to score, they’re driven to do so by savage need. And in the case of a chastity/fem dom dynamic it can happen that emotional dependency/fear of abandonment might make the withdrawal of consent just as aversive as drug withdrawal.

 

It's fact it's written otherwise is kinda a problem yes. Hence red flag

 

Another example would be tattooing. You consent to have tattoos but you can’t change your mind later. It’s there and the only way that can change is with laser removal. I have so much of my body tattooed that removal isn’t an option.

 

Yeah but you still haven’t clarified WHY it’s a problem. Seems to me the way it’s written is deliberately to close down the possibility of escape.

 

Is it just a problem for you because you think it’s unenforceable and therefore redundant?

 

When consent is removed it's always a problem. Any dynamic like this not just this particular one be it bdsm etc is based on consent. Attempting to remove that leads to abuse. If you can't see that I'm really not sure how much clearer it can be made to you.

 

Except you’ve missed a crucial point for some reason: the person is freely consenting once and for all to renouncing freedom - much like my tattoo analogy… or if someone deliberately started habitually using heroin IN ORDER to experience addiction.

 

Everything you just said is a horrible idea quite honestly and yes cnc is a thing. Not a great thing but yet a thing. Fact remains however that largely giving up consent is a horrible idea that could end horribly.

 

There are plenty of non-sexual contexts in which people make informed decisions to enter irrevocable states. A relatively trivial one is paying to go on a roller coaster. Is the fact that you can’t get off half way through the ride when you’re shitting your pants a “red flag”? No, it’s the whole point! A less trivial one is taking on a massive mortgage or loan. You can’t sign up for these things and then whine when it gets painful.

 

Seems to me that all you’re really saying is that a contract of this kind is not to your personal taste - which is fine. But why try to legislate for others? For me it ONLY starts to get hot where consent is (willingly) surrendered. Until then it’s just role play.
Hence my loathing of “safe words” - the ultimate buzzkill in my book. I want to be taken to a place where every atom of my being is screaming impotently for mercy. I want it beforehand and I’m grateful for it afterwards. In the midst of the experience it’s terrifying. That’s the point!

 

In the greater kink community and yes wearing a cage is considered a kink consent is vital. If it's different for you personally great but for the majority consent matters for many valid reasons.

 

And like I said, that’s all jolly good and fine for you and this majority of which you speak. You will note that I’m not saying your consensual role play is wrong (even though to me it seems like namby-pamby bullshit). But you seem to be stigmatising the essence of my sexual orientation and I find that oppressively moralistic.
It’s only now, late in the discussion, that you say it’s “great” for me to like what I like. And in fact I don’t think you mean it - I think you frown on me as some kind of fucked up undesirable. Are you also the kind of person who won’t give money to beggars “because they’ll only spend it on drugs”?

 

Oh, has the penny dropped that you’ve turned into Mary Whitehouse?